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Helping a friend
I have very good friend, my best friend who I have known for over 20 years. I have always known that he did not have any hair but in all that time I have never talked to him about it and he has never talked to me about it. That was until today. For the first time he opened up to me about told me everything. He has had Alopecia for most of his life and described to me all the pain he has gone through. He wears a wig now and is thinking about going with out it. I want to support my friend in any way I can. He has taken what I think is a brave step in just talking to me about it, now I want to do as much as I can for him. Any advice would be very helpful. I have told him if he does decide to do go with out his wig I would even shave off my hair as well, is this a good idea? Do you think he would find this helpful? or insulting. Please any help would be wonderful. Thanks
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Donna on
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Hi John,
What a decent mate you are! 'm sure he wouldn't be insulted at all by your support.
The best advice I can offer you is to just be there. Listen when he needs someone to talk to and help him to smile if he's feeling down. His confidence will be the thing he will need support with more than anything else but I'm sure if he is surrounded with such postive people as yourself he will be just fine.
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Permalink Reply by john on
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thanks for the feed back, and the kind words, but I am just doing what I know my friend would do if the roles were reversed.
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on
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Donna is certainly on the right track -- you are a wonderful friend indeed to seek the advice of other alopecians about your friend.
Again, just be there for whatever your friend needs -- a shoulder to cry on, a ear to bend, and an all-around confidence booster -- that will mean more to him than anything, and it will show in his decision-making later on down the line!
Have you pointed him in our direction yet?
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thanks for the advice, he was the one who pointed me to your direction so that I could get a better understanding of what he is dealing with. From the replies I have gotten I understand why he did.
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Permalink Reply by JeffreySF on
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Hey John,
You are a great friend. Talking about insecurities with close ones is very nurturing.
Jeff
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Permalink Reply by Dielle on
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If I was thinking about going without a wig I would definitely appreciate it if someone shaved their head with me because then it would feel less like everyone is staring only at me.
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Permalink Reply by tat on
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tell him.. "you are NOT your hair, bro!"
not to mention, bald men can be very sexy...
and there's plenty of them in this world!
more so than women, atleast.
and for you to shave your head with him... you're such a doll.
peace & respect!!!
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Permalink Reply by Joshua on
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Hi John,
You're a wonderful friend who would sacrifice alot for your friends. It's tough to change overnight for your friend who has been dealing alopecia and now wanting to be in the public without a wig. Personally, I think your friend would be greatly touched and inspired if you shave your head even before letting him know that whether you should or not. However, you're being sensitive and considerate to the emotional aspect of your friend. I have no doubt that you're willing to shave your head for your friend. In short, there is no right or wrong on shaving your head for your friend. As the saying goes by, it is the thought that matters...I wonder what was your friend's response when you told him that you would even shave your hair off as well...?
take care.
jt @ http://joshuablogspace.blogspot.com
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