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How do I accept my hair loss as ALL MY FAULT?
I am coming to terms that I did not address my hair loss and now it's too late to do anything but wear a wig. I ignored my health care and am obese. I tried dieting but always yoyo up and down. Didn't get regular physicals and now I ruined my life. In the last 2 years, lost so much of my hair (and so much more in the last 12 months) I couldn't see it, face it and now I am wearing a full wig. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, no one to blame but me. How am I going to live with myself? Could I have prevented my hair loss? Or would I ended up balding anyway, just a few years later then now? I am so ashamed of myself and wonder how am I going to accept that I did this to myself. Why did I not love myself enough to address my baldness?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by purplemainst on
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Hi,
Thank you for your message. Even in my denial period, I did some research on female hair loss and did read how difficult it was to find the right help and how difficult it was to treat. Also read stories of being dismissed because of obesity. With the state of baldness I have now, at the very least won't be shrugged off, but I can't be helped either. I didn't demonstrate the symptoms for PCOS (never missed and still haven't missed a cycle). Didn't have children so didn't pursue infertility. I was also very afraid of Rogaine, because I could not bear the thought to lose more hair. I am trying it now to try to save what I have. If you have any luck finding a thin wig, please do let me know. I have not made much progress with a wig. Thank you for the prayers, I am in deep emotional pain. I can see people survive this, I am not feeling that I will find my peace. I am trying not to ruin by life, but right now I feel like it already has.
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Purple...99% of wigs cannot be worn out of the box.....they often have so much hair because people take them to a stylist to have them thinned and fitted to their face. Once you do that, you will feel better (I hope) about the wig.
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Hi Cindie, I understand there has to be an adjustment time. but I did have it cut and fitted to my face by the a stylist who specialized in this. When I got home the hair was hanging in my face, and when I tried to sweep the hair off my face, the wig was shifting on my head. It wasn't an inexpensive piece.
Is this what to be expected? Even if you spend decent money?
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Permalink Reply by fijifrangipani on
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the best wigs are custom made, they have a fitted silicon cap the is unique to you as they take a cast. But yes, cheaper wigs will shift, they will blow off in gusts of wind.. save money from treatments, because they dont work.. and put the money to a good natural hair wig. You will feel much better about yourself. Shit happens, and it happens to everyone, you need to decide to take control from this point, as no one else can make you happy. It is scarey, it is hard to explain to others who dont have it, but hey, you arent the first woman in the world to lose their hair, and you wont be the last. This site is testament to that. You need to figure out how you deal with the hand you have been dealt.. what will make you happy, you can ask us all till you are blue in the face, but only you can truthfully answer that.
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Hello,
Thank you for the info on wigs. Makes sense. I will explore the custom made option.
I was thinking about why I totally freaked out with a wig on. It was so awful for me. I know a lot of that was because I am just acknowledging my hair loss. I am not used to a wig and felt totally out of control with it on. I could not imagine having this on my head, every day for the rest of my life. Can you go with hair one day, and then scarf or hat the next. Is that ok? I thought I might wear scarves, hats because I won't worry about everyone finding out I am bald. They will figure it out. And if I wear hair one day, it's because I want to. I don't know what will make me happy every again. I don't know how to deal with this at all. I know peace has to come from within. I am praying for courage to find the peace, but I am so scared of this road.
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Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on
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A fitted silicone cap only works if you are willing to keep your head shaved. You can't do an accurate cast over hair. You can do a tape mold, but it won't be terribly accurate and you still need an attachment method. This is the problem when you have a lot of your own hair as wigs will slip around on it. Some wigs use double sided tape, others use clips sewn in. The ones with some elastic at the back can help it 'hug' your head if you can anchor it underneath two pig tails. Be careful before you spend a lot more money. If there is a support group in your area, try going to see what others are wearing. WHen you see one you like, ask where they got it and how it is attached. You'll need to talk to women with similar hair loss to what you have.
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Hello All,
Went to my first dermatalogist appointment today. Not a good dermatoligist. He told me my hair loss is genetic, plus the expected hormonal changes of life coming. He ordered the usual blood work, so will do that tomorrow. But told me to stick with Rogaine for Women. Call me on a Thursday in 2 or 3 weeks for results of blood work and make an another appointment for 6 weeks from now.
I asked about prescription meds, he said, not FDA approved for women, so he won't subscribe.
I asked if I should up the Rogaine to 5%, he said, well, it's available over the counter so you won't go to jail if you buy it. Plus that's not recommended for women because of potential for extra facial hair. (Is he kidding, I will deal with the extra facial hair, if I would get some hair back on my head) I asked should I have hope for have some more hair on my head. He said yes, in a year from now, with Rogaine, special shampoos and vitamins, you will have more hair on your head. Will it be what you expect, he didn't know, but he said I can regrow some hair.Needless to say I am that desperate to be grateful for this news, although except the blood work, I already helped myself more with what I learned from you all and WebMD.
Decided to take my chances with Rogaine 5% and then go to the next derm appointment next week, hoping for a Doctor who might be more aggressive in their approach.Went to a a LCSW on Tuesday afternoon, she gave me the usual input about Grief, Loss, Acceptance.
(like I didn't know that already) So friends, I am starting down the road, and so far my experiences have been exactly what I have been reading all you have been through.I am still not able to accept this was not my fault, I waited too long to start treatment. I can only pray now I get enough back to do my old comb forward. So off to pray now and then retreat back to my bed.
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I love the way you Americans express your faith - "off to pray" - what a wonderful thing to say. Generally, we are very inhibited here in NZ and the majority of people just do not talk openly about our faith unless they really know the people they are talking to share their faith. Please keep it up - I love it. All the best Purplemainst - you are so gutsy and have just so much going for you.
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Hi Ellyn,
I apologize if I was offensive. Anytime you want to tell me you are off to pray, please feel free. I have been saying many prayers lately and know that while I have to adjust to this change, I won't keep up on the healing powers of prayer.
All by best to you too, thank you for being here, I would be much more lost and so less courageous without you all
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You are not offensive. I think that Ellyn was saying that she liked the fact that you can say stuff like that in the US of A and no one is going to be upset with you. That's what it means to be an American. You can talk about your religion and you can feel free to express yourself about your beliefs - or lack thereof. We have a long tried and true legacy of 5th amendment rights. No need to apologize. In fact, in my opinion we should exercise those rights more openly without regard to false PC crap. Just sayin'!!
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Hi, I understood Ellyn, but realizing this is an international forum, I could of been more considerate. But I know I am an American and that's what it is.
Now, for real, off to pray and will include you all in those prayers.
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Thanks Purplemainst for your prayers and thank you Debbi Fuller for understanding what I am saying. Far from being offensive Purplemainst - I love prayer - I do it all the time myself and love it when I'm included in other people's prayers too. Just NZers are generally quite inhibited - can't help ourselves - just the way we are. We are kind of squeamish (silly, eh.)I was actually complimenting you so please please please keep it all up. Big hugs everyone.
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