This hair loss thing (AGA) is sapping the life out of me. I have turned into a grumpy, sobbing hermit.

How do you get through this?

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It helps to have good friends and to not be a grumpy hermit. Time heals everything, theres no use sitting around being unhappy about something you can't control. Also remember that you're not alone, and no matter how bad it gets it could always be worse.
Get out of the house and go somewhere in any kind of head gear you want to a favorite or desired place. I chose California at age 21.
Yes, time will heal! After a little bit, close friends and family do help, you will learn to just accept it. Soon you will not feel anymore that your hair is what made you beautiful, but your entire package and giving up one thing will not change that. I know when I got my 1st wig, I felt ready to go and celebrate....no more worrying about hiding my spots, shots, and other treatments that didn't work anyway. Just try to cope, each day will get easier and we're all here to help.
Probably the same person here got me through most of the last year, after years of not having much understanding. Yes, that belief that you are special definitely helps.
You know, intellectually I know you are all right. That I am more than just the hair on my head. That I should just get on with things.

So why can't I?

I feel like there must be something terribly and irrevocably wrong with me.
Theres nothing wrong with you, you're having a hard time dealing with this, like everyone else has at some point. Everyone has problems, and if you let them hold you back they will.
What is so horrible about your hair falling out? is there someone you're trying to impress?
What's terrible is that it gave me some sense of fitting in, of being normal and accepted/acceptable in society. I blended in.

There's no one I'm trying to impress. I just want to be me, the me I was a few months ago when I was happy, was making plans, was sociable, was going shopping and having a laugh. All that is gone now and yes, I do understand how petty it seems but it's gone because of my hair.

I feel completely numb inside. I can't find any joy in anything. All I am doing is obsessing about my lack of hair, trying desperately to just come to terms with it but not being able to.
You're not normal, you're not like everybody else here, and not like the millions of others who also have hair loss. And nobody will accept you because you're losing hair and you can't control it. And you're not yourself, you're some hermit who believes you can't do all the things you used to do with hair. You can't be happy, you can't make plans or go out, and you certainly can't go shopping. And you have nothing to be happy about, nobody cares about you, your existence is meaningless. I don't like you cause you have bald spots.
Look, I get it. Intellectually, I get it.

I'm just finding it really hard to get my emotional side there.

I'm sorry if I upset or offended you. It wasn't my intention.
Listen I really do understand how you feel. Let me tell you a story. I am a 36 yrs old, single and overweight girl. I have been dealing with alopecia since I was 8/9 yrs old. Go ahead do the math. I was completely bald at 9 and stayed that way for a couple of years before regrowth happened. Imagine what I was subjected to from other kids. Kids are incredibly cruel, and the scars are still here. In the last 10 years I have been treating my hairloss aggressively, injections every six weeks. And the hairloss kept keep going. About a week before I shaved my head, I called my mom crying and frantic, I was ready to end my life. Thats right I, at that point, I wanted my hair back so badly that I figure I couldnt live without. Now this is something that I havent shared with anyone, I didnt tell anyone that I was thinking suicide (there I said the word) My mom made a 3 1/2 hrs trip to me, made an appt and got me a wig. She was desperate to find some answer for me because we couldnt stop the hairloss. That made me stop. 36 yrs old and I would rather choose hair over life. My mom runs to my rescue, over hair. HAIR ????? Would determine not only my happiness, but my mom's???? Not to mention my close friend's ???? Who were offering whatever support they could but not knowing what was wrong. ?????

OVER F#$&ING HAIR !!!!!

I shaved the last of my hair, I was not going to let it control me, my mom, my friends, no one!!!!!! If I want hair, I got wigs. I wear hats, scarfs mostly but around home and at the pool I rock a bald look.
DONT LET HAIR !!!! OF ALL THINGS CONTROL YOUR LIFE !!!
Yah I would love to have my own hair back, but if it is going to fall out again, then I rather not have it.
Get outside and do something that you enjoy, whether its going for a walk, window shopping, biking etc. Talk with your friends and family. And this site, being able to talk with others that know exactly what you are going thru, not only emotional but physically. And most importantly time. Dont but a time limit on yourself, and expect to have a bad day or two even after you start to feel better. It took me many years to fully accept that I have AU. But the biggest turning was when I shaved what was left, in order to take back some control, and realized how much I was hurting myself by desperately holding onto very little hair.
Take care and know that you among friends here.

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