How do you handle the cancer questions?

I sometimes go without my wig in public but it's usually when I'm outside of my normal routine like traveling. For me the biggest obstacle to going wig-free all the time is that people assume I'm going through chemo. I don't think most people will say anything so I don't even get the opportunity to explain. Sometimes I find ways to bring up AA/AU & explain it a bit. I'm interested to know how other folks handle this part of the AU experience.

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Permalink Reply by Kristen Ridenhour on December 24, 2008 at 3:55pm
Most of the time when people ask, I tell them I don't have cancer and that I have alopecia. If they have never heard of it (which a lot of people haven't) I will give them a quick explanation of what it is. I usually also include that I am perfectly healthy as well. I usually won't bring it up unless they are good friends that I've know for a bit. Hope this helps some!
Permalink Reply by Shera on December 25, 2008 at 9:35am
Thanks to everyone for their replies. In thinking about this some more I realized that I probably should not have said "cancer questions" but rather "cancer assumptions" because once someone actually asks a question I'm pretty OK with that. It's how do you deal with (if this has been an issue for you) knowing that just about everyone who sees you (at the gas station, in the grocery store, in a restaurant etc, etc) will assume you are going through chemo?
Permalink Reply by Mary on December 28, 2008 at 5:43pm
Since I go bald most of the time (weather permitting), I frequently have people ask me what stage of chemo I'm at, or what kind of cancer I have. I thank them for their concern, and then tell them what I have. 99% have never heard of it. One time I had a man come up to me in Costco and even after he found out I don't have cancer, he wanted to tell me about his wife who died last year from ovarian cancer. I guess I reminded him of her, and it seemed to make him feel good to talk with me.

It's upsetting that people assume we're sick, but every time it happens, I'm grateful I don't have cancer.

I'm thinking of printing T-shirts that say "I'm not sick...." on the front, and "...it's Alopecia Areata" on the back.

Mary
Permalink Reply by Mary on December 30, 2008 at 3:01pm
Thanks, Sandy!
Permalink Reply by Leah Turlo on April 11, 2010 at 8:25pm
Mary seemed to post my idea before I could. :) If I ever lose all of my hair, I was planning on making a shirt with my friend (who doesn't have Alopecia at all) saying "It's not cancer. Its alopecia. Google it."
Permalink Reply by Tuesday on April 11, 2010 at 9:28pm
Depends on the situation. Most of the time I'm forthright and explain I have alopecia areata (I have AU actually) and explain about it being an autoimmune condition. But it's happened that people are so distraught when they enquire if I have cancer - it would likely be too painful for THEM if I reveal I merely have alopecia.

An example - one woman approached me in tears saying like me her sister had 2 little boys and was also suffering from cancer. She was so upset ... I didn't have the heart to explain.
Permalink Reply by dawn on April 12, 2010 at 2:42am
My teachers asked me if I have cancer or on chemo when I was studying at schools. I just told them nothing wrong with my body, I just have alopecia. Then the next question is "Would you like to wear a hat?" No, I can handle it. Would there be a difference with or without a hat, students are still curious and gossip about me. Most of the teachers are not understand what it is, and unable to help students to go through the situation at school.
Permalink Reply by christine policicchio on October 10, 2010 at 10:10am
ive been wearing a doo rag for over a year now.. quite frankly i am thouroghly sick and tired of the assumptions.. "would you like me to pray for you" "hows treatment" "oh you must be in chemo" i try to be nice but i am at the point of full on attitude.. the lack of awareness is sickening. i am writing a book now.. its not their fault and i know this but.. one can only take so much. im gonna make a doo rag that says... well.. something to that effect..
Permalink Reply by Sarah Eisenhardt on October 14, 2010 at 3:48pm
one lady made up shirts that say "staring causes baldness" hahaha i am going to get one or maybe even a few!
http://www.cafepress.com/+ts,465763410
Permalink Reply by Auntie Sheila on October 29, 2010 at 11:57pm
When I tell people I don't have cancer, they seem to feel even sorrier for me than for themselves!! Mostly because I don't know why I lost my hair, and they do. I am thankful that I know I'm not fighting for my life! I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis, so I'm not "completely" healthy. Since I'm off some of my RA meds because they may have triggered this AU, I'm starting to get the fatigue and stiffness back. Argh.
Permalink Reply by Auntie Sheila on October 29, 2010 at 11:59pm
Oh, I checked out a website of T-shirts for alopecia: http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/alopecia
There's some great T-shirts there!
Permalink Reply by Mary on November 1, 2010 at 5:27pm
Hi everyone - it's good to be back with AW after 6 weeks of no Internet access. I just posted a blog about my experiences as a bald woman in Indonesia. It has relevance to this topic:

http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/why-ill-never-again-be-...

As I say in the blog, I honestly don't think I'll be bothered as much by the cancer assumption after this trip where I found out what it's like when people DON'T assume you have cancer.

Mary

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