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How do you respond?
Hey all....I am a nurse as alot of you now. While giving report on a patient...the another nurse was starring at my hair and hairline of my wig...and after about 2 minutes of making me completley uncomfortable with her staring.....he asked if I was wearing a wig in a sarcatic tone. I was completley lost for words and almost started crying. Again today in the doctor's office, the nurse drawing my blood was starring at my head. She didnt ask if I was wearing anything though. I have no idea how to respond to these people doing this...does anyone have any suggestions of how to respond?
Thank you!!
Love,
Donna
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Donna DeHoog on
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Thanks Aimee...I guess it is just a matter of getting use to it and the looks sometimes. I just changed jobs...i find it amazingly insensitive for people who dont even know me to say something about my wig. I still have so much to learn in this journey with alopecia. Thank you again for your advice. How are you?
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Harris on
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Donna! Sorry that happened to you! I can't believe that!! I had one person look at my hair and tell me, your hair clip is showing and I just said, oh, my hairdresser likes to try different hair pieces on me, I guess it was showing. That's the only time that happened. I have had people look at my head and then look back at my eyes but not too bad. I know what you mean, you just don't know what to say and them you get caught off guard. I wish I could give you a really good statement to say, I think Aimee had a good one. I just wanted you to know that I can relate!! Sometimes, I wish I could just wear a hat!!! AUGH!! Talk soon!! Melissa :)
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Hey Melissa...thank you so much for being such a great friend through this mess! I just hate this alopecia mess! I know something is wrong with me....just going to be finding the right doctor that digs far enough. I have fevers just about everyday...might miss a week or so. They have done tests for lupus...one test came up positive and they repeated them several times...all are showing up negative again. UGH! I really look cruddy in hats but I know what you mean. I somedays wish I could just put a bag over my head...I am sure I would really get some funny looks with that one though...lol. How are you doing? Is the hair loss slowing down at all for you? You are off treatment now right? I will keep praying for you and all on here for peace with this mess. Talk to you soon girl! Keep your head up! I am trying! Love, Donna
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Permalink Reply by Joy on
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Donna
im sorry that happened to you...you are such a nice person and if it was in reverse i know you wouldnt have made a comment. i wish they could figure out what physically is wrong....i will pray about that! i have 3 years of problems with my iron and progesterone and they both have negatively affected my hair. just wanted to let you know im sorry someone said something that they shouldnt have. i'll pray that you will find whats wrong!!!
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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That sucks, Donna. I think Aimee nailed it with her suggested reply. I often use the "...if I have to have an autoimmune disease, this is the one to have..." line.
I have T-shirts and tank tops that I've made that say "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!" That's my message to the jerks who won't stop staring at my bald head. It's amazing how rude some people are, but mostly they're not that way.
Good luck...hang in there and keep your head up.
Mary
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Thanks Mary...I should probably get a shirt like that....that is a great idea!! Definitely trying to keep my head up....thank you again for your words of encouragement!
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Permalink Reply by Tiffany P on
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I too work at a hospital and its amazing that the very ones who took nursing to help care for poeple can be so rude. my mouth drops open everytime i come across nurses that are so down right ignorant its startling. anyway i am sorry that they acted that way but i have gotten to the point where i have become quicker with my responses, but people do catch me off guard cause your thinking ("wow did you really just say that?") hope you had a great day and hope you have a better weekend :o)
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Hey Tiffany...thank you for replying! I agree totally about the nurses...they are the ones that take care of people when they are sick....and for them to be judgemental...it is beyond me! I defintely will get better with my responses...just really new into this wig stuff.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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Hi Donna, I'm a nurse also, and have not yet had such an experience. I have had people look at me like they are trying to figure out what's up. (I don't have eyebrows or lashes, brows are penciled on, and I use eyeliner. Glasses help hide it a bit). Once I ran into a coworker outside of the workplace, and I wanted to hide. I did not have my wig on, but a baseball cap. When I couldn't avoid her, I summoned up my nerve and just addressed the issue. I said hello, and that I was embarassed that I didn't have my wig on. I explained that I have AA, and that I didn't want everyone I work with to know it. Her comment was, " Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter." I could have hugged her. I have discussed my aa candidly with a couple of close coworkers, and they have acepted it. I guess the "high road" is to look at that coworker as a poor candidate for a nurse . Unprofessional. Sometimes I think it would be funny to say something like, "Yeah, I'm wearing a wig, but the boobs are real."
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Lisa, I love that saying! I will remember that! My friends basically tell me the same thing just still having a very difficult time coming to grips with my alopecia. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom!
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Gail, that is a great idea too! I will remember that!
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Permalink Reply by Devin on
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Donna, I wish I had some great wisdom to share, but my reply would have been some smart alec remark and your probably better then that. I just have a real pet peeve with people being rude in public, but that’s just the way a lot of people are today. You open a door at 7/11 and they don’t even acknowledge you or they don’t say please or thank you when in a restaurant. Some people were just not raised right. I LOVE the quote that Lisa used “Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter." Words to live by. Take Care!
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