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How to explain to kids?
Amelia
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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Wow. I sure hope others reply. I have AU and just had a baby I also wonder how to tell her. My only difference from you is that she will grow up with me not having hair and will only know that. But I'm sure shell have questions as to why I don't have hair and why I wear a wig. Like I said I hope others who have already navigated these waters have some in-put.
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Permalink Reply by Tuesday on
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I have AU. When my oldest son was around 2, i recall him reacting strongly if i wore a scarf or wig that he didn't like . He would get angry and rip it off. Eight years later, I barely recall those actions. I just told my kids in age appropriate fashion about my alopecia and what it is. At age 6, my youngest child vaguely understands "i am allergic to my hair". As the kids age, i will be more accurate and specific in explanation.
I am bald or where various scarves and wigs...it's just part of "mom" in children's eyes.
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Permalink Reply by Amelia33 on
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Thanks guys. My kids are smart and I know they won't care as much as I fear. I guess all I have to worry about is ripping scarves off in public before I'm ready, he he.
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Permalink Reply by aggiewife22 on
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My kids are around the same age (4 & 2). I have always been very open with them about my AU. I've shown them my spots, had them touch them, and I've shown them pictures of other people and kids with Alopecia. We pretty much say something about it in everyday conversation. When I get to the point of having to shave my head (which is coming quickly), we're going to have the kids help with the razor if they want to. Hope this helps :)
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Permalink Reply by spyflys on
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I do not have kids myself, but am close to my 5 year old niece and her cousins. When she started asking questions, we simply explained that some people have long brown hair, some have curly red hair, ect. and some people just have no hair. To her, it is just the way of the world.
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Permalink Reply by Anne Williams on
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I have AA and 2 granddaughters around the same age as your children. I am having a bad hairloss episode and am seriously considering shaving my head. I plan on being honest with th granddaughters. I liked one response re: letting the young ones know about me being allergic to my hair.
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Permalink Reply by Matt Jinnings on
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hey thanks for your honesty. I have seen some guys with no hair using artificial hair. I hope someone will experience will give you best idea.
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Permalink Reply by gldean1988 on
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I'm a teacher with AU, and my students know about it. I change my wigs sometimes, and I've gone to school bald before. I like to be straight-forward. It's a condition that causes hair loss, but otherwise, I'm perfectly healthy.
You would surprised that children are actually very malleable. They tend to adopt whatever attitudes adults have. If you make a big deal about it, they make a big deal about it. But, if you present it in a way that's matter-of-a-fact, they adopt that attitude. Also, since your kids are young, you might include them in some of your decisions. Like, what wig should Mommy wear today? Do you like this one?
When I came to my parents house for the first time with a shaved head, my six year old niece told me it was "ugly." It did sting a little, but I have to remember that she's just a kid who doesn't know better. So, I just said to her, "No. It's not ugly. It's different. And, ugly is an ugly word that we shouldn't use to describe people because it's mean."
She's 9 now, and one of the last times I saw her, she said to me, "You get to change your hair to whatever you want. That's really cool!" So, kids are malleable.
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Permalink Reply by TARA49 on
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It won't be popular as people are very pro honesty with kids but for me my alopecia is private and I don't tell my kids about my IBS nor any other health worries so I haven't told them about my alopecia either. I also have AU. I began sweeping over, using flesh disguisers and nano fibres to cover patches and pinned my hair up to cover patches, then when it became too much to hide I started wearing a weave-in hair system - this was when I had about 50% of my hair left. Quite quickly all of my hair fell out but by then I had the hair system on and I just had it adjusted to accommodate my AU. I sleep, swim, shower etc in mine so nobody ever see's me without it unless I'm at the salon.
Eyebrows arre micro-bladed on and eyelashes are false but worn every day.
My kids are 10 and 7 and they have absolutely no idea that I am AU. My hair system is pretty fantastic and I also teach - I can honestly say that I have never had so much as an odd look or comment from any of the children I teach, nor my own.
So if you're not comfortable telling your kids about your medical issues - then don't.
Tx
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What can of wig/hair system do you wear?
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I wear a real hair custom made system
mesh built onto my head and then real hair added, it lasts about 2 years although I got 2 and 4 months out of mine.
i can't cope with any bald time so it suits me as it's 24/7 and I can honestly say I can't feel
it when its on. No discomfort at all.
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You can have some fun with it, and say, "I didn't eat enough vegetables and meat" when I was a kid.(or I've used I ate too much candy when I was a kid) If they want more you can talk about disease in general. "Sonny, you know how some people need a wheelchair because their body doesn't walk very well? Well, some people's hair doesn't grow really well. It's kind of like that."
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