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How to support a friend with alopecia
Hi all,
I'm new to this site. I joined because I have a very good friend who is struggling with Alopicia. He lost his hair at the age of 8 and even though it grew back, he lost it all again at the age of 24. He is having a very hard time dealing with it. He seeks mental health treatment and he is trying his best. As a friend, i feel helpless and would love to help him. If you have any advice on what you think would be appreciated as part of being supportive, please let me know?? like if you wish you had a friend doing certain things for you, or what being there ofr you really means, I would love to be that friend for him. We are not in a romantic relationship but we are very close. It makes me sad to see him be this sad.
Thank you for your help, I admire all your positivity, strength and courage
MOI.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Moi on
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thank you ;)
Oh so you were clear with your friends about what you did NOT want. thats also helpful cause I worry about being intrusive and he doesnt communicate what he is ok discussing and what not. Thats kind of why i ask you guys, being in his situation, for the kind of things i need to be mindful. So thanks! Its funny cause to me, it so does not bother me, i view him the exact same way but i understand its about his own sense of self...
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I agree with all the posts here! My daughter 20 has been blessed with Alopecia. We have gone through all the doctors, medicines, roller coaster of emotions, and we found out the world didn't quit spinning. Everyone's journey is unique. There is no right or wrong. Be who you would want YOU to be for your friendship. Anything done out of love, genuine thought, friendship, and sincerity can not be wrong. Acknowledge the pain, social struggles, make him know how important he is and all the good he has to offer. But I am sure that you already do that to everyone around you!
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Permalink Reply by Cinder B. Rand on
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Dear Moi
First let me welcome you to this wonderful site. It has been very helpful for me and I am sure to so many of us. I am so sorry for your dear friend’s loss of his hair (again). It is hard enough to lose it once, I cannot imagine going through it twice. Many of the people I have met through having alopecia have told me that this has happened to them. This year is 7 years for me. I lost all of the hair all over my body within a few weeks and it has decided never to make another appearance. Although it has been hard, for myself it has become easier, although there are days when I just cannot stand looking in the mirror as I think I look like an egg. It helped for myself to get my brows and liner tattooed. Made it easier for myself just to look at my face as it use to look to me or at least a little closer. My friends have been amazing about well…everything. I think I have been lucky on so many levels. They go with me to have my brows done and hold my hand, to go and try on pieces, to help when I learned how to put on lashes. Over all I have been very lucky and everyone has been very supportive. There are days when it is hard and I get very blue about this whole odd thing happening to me but they tell me always beautiful nice things about myself and it does help. Three years ago I had cancer (all is good and clear now) but it did put a lot of this in perspective for me. There are worse things that we can have. Life is a beautiful thing and we have a lot to offer and I believe we can inspire others. Not saying that any of this is easy and I can only speak for myself. Just be a good and wonderful friend. Let him be sad when he needs to be sad and joyful when he is joyful. Being there with love and the right attitude is the key. Even if it looks like we are not hearing you at that particular moment, we are. It is deep inside and stays with us. I hope this helps. It is all so personal and an individual feeling for all of us. We all look at it and feel it differently at times. So very personal and we are all individuals about this and how we feel. Here I go rambling. Just be there. That is all I can say.
Peace Cinder
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Wow Cindy, your story is amazing and your outlook is inspiring. Thank you ;)
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Permalink Reply by Bety on
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You are a great friend!! Is he a member? If not, he should be. What had helped me the most is reading all the stories and struggles from everybody else, because every time I read each one of them, I'm saying: Yes that is me! Knowing that there is a lot of people going through the same things every day makes me feel stronger and accept who I am. It took me a long time, but I'm getting there. Hope that he starts to feeling better soon,
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I wonder if that is something he would be open about. He is pretty reserved about it :(
I can see him tell me that would not be helpful because to each their own sorrow type of thing but I will definitely present him with the idea. (and delete this post lol)
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Since your friend's hair off of so much then I suggest that you can ask your friends to wear a wig. I think it is not a sad wigs. Although I am but a stylish hair well, but I often go http://www.eozy.com/wig here to buy a wig. I feel very good here wig.
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I feel that nothing is ever did not need very sad. I think you should be able to mind his wig. Perhaps now wigs have become a kind of fashion. I often buy some fashionable wigs are EOZY on a website. I think there's a WIS quality are also, perhaps, I think you can suggest your friend go there to look for.
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