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Permalink Reply by KJ on September 30, 2011 at 9:37am

You are right, I used to say that about my hair being mine to, ha ha! I'm not really sure how to bring it up, or why it's so hard for me this time around. I have scars from my years of battling cancer and he doesn't care, and prefers me without makeup (though I don't - ha) so I guess my chances are pretty good it won't matter. Just mustering up the courage....

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Permalink Reply by Sanah Jivani on September 30, 2011 at 4:49pm

Beauty comes from you-- Not your hair! I'm sure he'll still think of you all the same after you tell him. The way he looks at you won't change a bit. In fact, he'll probably admire your courage. :) Be open with him, and tell him exactly what's going on! And if he doesn't understand? He's not worth it! a beautiful person like you deserves nothing but the best! Good luck! :)

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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on October 1, 2011 at 2:14am

Hi Karyn,

I too was in the same predicament... I started dating my boyfriend(we're not together anymore:( )and I was so scared to tell him that my hair was'nt really mine, because he's Indian, and I was afraid that he would leave me, because of how Indians view certain things...I asked everyone what I should do, I kept thinking should I wait till it gets really serious, or should I just suck it up and tell him. Everyone told me to give myself a month( It had been a few weeks since we started dating) I even spoke to my Psychology teacher about it, because I was so distressed..I was falling for him and fast, and I knew that I needed to be honest. She told me that if I told him and he left, then that just meant that he's not deserving of me. Then, after some time, my boyfriend commented on my facebook picture, and wrote "I like your hair like this", you look beautiful..and then I broke down crying... I told him right away...Through a chat message, because I did'nt want to hear the disappointment in his voice when I told him my hair was falling out. I explained everything, and I gave him the opportunity to walk away. He did'nt. He said to me, "I love Elizabeth Peter, not her hair." Then he sent me this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks After I saw this video, I knew that no matter what happens, I will be fine. and I am telling you now that you will be fine. If he is deserving of you and your love, then he will never walk away from you because of your Alopecia. If you tell him, and he walks away, then kick him in the a$$, and tell him that it's better for you, because you deserve only the best! Hugs:)

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Permalink Reply by Lola on October 4, 2011 at 7:55am

I am in the same position. (Kind of) I'm 22 and started dating someone and dont know how to tell him about my hair. If they're not comfortable with it then you don;t want to be with them. But i;ve never had to do it before. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by KJ on October 5, 2011 at 12:24am

Thank you all for your support. Tomorrow is my birthday and we are spending all day together. We also have a long weekend planned. Maybe I will be able to muster up the courage at some point. I would be really shocked if it changed how he felt about me but deep down I must be afraid or I'd just do it, right?

I'll keep you all posted. Not sure why I can't get my picture to post here- but you all are beautiful, with or without hair!

Karyn

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Permalink Reply by samantha on October 5, 2011 at 6:27am

I know how you feel! so vulnerable. but just do it and get it over with! i always try to tell myself they already know even if they dont.it somehow makes it easier on me. they will follow your lead, if you make a big deal out of it so will he and if you make it sound like its no big deal...same thing. i always try to add some humor after they respond with thier response if i can like...i take very quick showers, or im super soft or i cut quickly through water...:)
Good Luck!!

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Permalink Reply by Lucky1000 on October 8, 2011 at 7:29pm

Hi, im 13 years old i have AA. I have never had a boyfriend so i wouldnt know how you would feel but i can imagine it. I think that if your boyfriend really loves you for who you are he will learn to acept that everyone is not perfect and that everyone has a problem and in our case, hair loss. If he dumps you just because of that, its like you dumping him because he has facial hair. If he is someone that you feel that you can trust then he should be fine with it. You never know he might have a problem as well. Good luck and i hope it works, if he doesnt acept it then he is obviously self obsessed and only wants the girls that think they are perfect. Good luck hope you relationship works :)

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Permalink Reply by KJ on November 8, 2011 at 3:01pm

Hi Ladies,

I finally told him (via text message then on the phone) a few weeks ago. He told me he had wanted to say "really- that's all you've got?"- via text message but knew it wouldn't come out right-- meaning it was no big deal at all. He said he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and it doesn't matter at all to him. So a great big hug and THANK YOU ladies for the confidence boost I needed!!

He hasn't seen me yet without my hair though-- based on what he said though- I don't think it will be a big deal.

Definately a keeper! :)

Karyn

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