Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
I am new and I need some help
Hi all. I am new here, and I came here in hope of getting some support for my wife. As my screen name suggests, I am married to a woman with Alopecia. As Im sure all of you on here that suffer from the same disease know that this disease can make life very difficult, and my wife is no exception. My wife has suffered from it for many years, but she has never came to terms with it. She is in denial of the disease and does not want to accept that it is part of who she is now. As a result of trying to escape from something she cant change, she tries really difficult to overcompensate. She wants to be the most beautiful, but it is a destructive lifestyle. She is obsessive about things like makeup and fashion all the time. She is very angry at celebrities or other women who get attention from the way they look. She is always filled with negativity and she has no way to stop it. I feel that most of her lifestyle is based on her just trying to escape from her loss of hair. My wife is beautiful, and smart, and talented, and there is no reason that this problem should ruin her life. I love her and try to support her as much as I can, but there is only so much that I can do for her alone. I believe probably the biggest reason why she has not been improving so much is because she has never associated with another person with the disease. I really think that she needs some support from others with the disease so she can feel better about herself. I read that it is the most effective therapy, and I know other people that had success with other kinds of support groups. I also have seen many users on this site that greatly benefit from being connecting with others with alopecia. She said she would join this site but she is always afraid to do it. But as her husband, I strongly feel she needs this kind of support so she can stop her destructive lifestyle and feel comfortable in her own skin. If all possible, I would greatly appreciate it if there were some users on here that welcomed her and encouraged her to come on here and talk about things she deals with. For now I will call her Eve because she was going to use that name, but she will introduce herself if my plan works and she comes on. I know my wife would be very happy if she was welcomed with open arms and could tell others how she feels. Thank you all for reading this and for those of you who respond.
-Mr. A (just for now)
-Mr. A (just for now)
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Pam Glover on
-
Mr A and Eve,
Welcome to this wonderful supportive world of fellow alopecians. I hope you can both find the support you need here.
A bit about me. I was diagnosed 2 years ago at the age of 49. Just before my hair started to fall out, my 37 year old stepdaughter was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Our hair fell out at the same time, mine from alopecia, hers from chemo. I thank God daily for allowing me to share something so personal with Shannon. We complained of handfuls or hair together, shaved the remainder of our hair together, shopped for headwear and wigs together. The difference is Im still here, bald and beautiful. She left us and her little 4 year old son on Feb 12, 2009.
In the grand scheme of things its just hair.
Pam
-
Permalink Reply by Susan S on
-
I attended my first support group last night and am so glad I did. It would probably help your wife, as it helped me. Contact the National Alopecia Areata Assoc for a list of support groups and telephone contacts in your area: http://www.naaf.org/site/PageServer?pagename=page_not_found. Good luck.
Susan
-
Permalink Reply by Lindsay on
-
hello mr. a and welcome to alopecia world :) i want to help your wife..... this disease can be overcome by power of the mind, and she will overcome the obstacles it creates! If she would rather, here is my email address linds_a_lot123@yahoo.com if she would rather email on private..... she should not have to feel so alone.
much love <3
lindsay
-
Permalink Reply by Zanie on
-
I can't imagine what you are going through. I can understand what your wife is going through, because like me and everyone on here we are living it. I am here if she needs to talk, accepting yourself will not happen overnight, but if you are persistant it will happen! I wore a wig for 17 years of my life, and last year I let it go... my family and friends are who got me through. Let me know what you need :)
-
Permalink Reply by Clayton on
-
Your wife is lucky to have you, let's get that said right up front, I hope she appreciates your support and joins our group. I just want you to understand that alopecia can attacks ones self-worth, big time. In a world that puts a premium on looks, it's hard to come to grips with a condition like alopecia, especially for a woman.
I lost my hair about 13 years ago and I'm still self conscious, mostly about my lack of eyebrows and lashes, luckily, bald is somewhat stylish, so I have that going for me.
Your wife has to come to terms with her condition in her own time and way, certainly becoming a member of AW could help her in many ways. She can get all kinds of advice and ideas, addresses and places to obtain things she's probably not even aware exist, to help her get through this. Not to mention meeting and talking to folks suffering through the same things as her.
I hope she comes aboard.
Clayton
-
Permalink Reply by Rodolfo Varela on
-
Hello dear friend, I give you my welcome and I think, name em all. Ideally it is clear that she befriend all the wonderful women of the site and so have their experience and exchange. I see that you like so admired these men as concerned about it. Today the mentality of people is changing and if the distress is concealed in destructive behavior only begets more discomfort. But on the positive side of this change, the aesthetic is also changing and now the bald woman is more and more as a new model of beauty, an approach will seem frivolous, but I think not, since the fact to rediscover your wife a new form of beauty but not reversible, since the benefit bring peace, may itself be seen from there return home and accepted in verdarera beauty. THE INTERIOR.
UN ABRAZO, RODOLFO.
GOOD LUCK
-
Permalink Reply by Sue Helaine on
-
Hi Mr. A - First of all, I commend you for reaching out for your wife! That takes a a real man that loves his woman! My husband always encourages me to join a support group, but I don't know that he would take the step you did.
I've been suffering with alopecia for years and I too have not been able to except it either. I too overcmpensate $$$ to look good whether it be laser treatments, expensive makeups, face creams, diet, exercise, but it always all comes back around to my HAIR, or lack thereof. I get upset when watching TV (Pantene commercials, stars like Beyonce and shows like Danicng with the Stars, make me fly out of the room or become saddened) ... I used to model and perform with my husband, a professional musician, when I was young but my alopecia changed my whole career and lifestyle any years ago now. I would love to be in contact with both you and of course your wife. I think she and I would have a lot in common. I just joined "Alopecia World myself just a few weeks ago. I'm still learning to navigate around. I hope to hear from you/her, and hopefully the step you've taken to reach out for Eve will encourage her to become a member. I need people like Eve too, for support and hopefully we can eventually support one another. Good luck. Hope to hear from you. Sue
-
Permalink Reply by Christine Peck on
-
First off, thank you for being such a good support for your wife. I have been very surprised at how supportive the men I have dated have been with my alopecia. :-)
Secondly,welcome, Eve, and you to Alopecia World. You and she will find lots of good support here. I hope she will just take a deep breath and join in.
Anger and denial are both stages of grief. And alopecia *is* something to grieve about. For awhile when my alopecia first began, I could not watch shampoo commercials or look at women with long beautiful hair, in person or in ads. It made me feel like less of a woman that I no longer had my long hair. But, then I discovered wigs, and scarves, and learned to have fun with it.
This year when about 25% of my hair had come back, then it began to fall out again, and this time I lost my eyebrows and am losing my eyelashes too. I have finally accepted it completely. I had thought for years that my self hatred was the reason my hair had fallen out.After doing a lot of self work since 2006, and having my hair come back partly and then go away again, it hit me, *I* had nothing to do with it. It just is something that has happened to me. I have cried, and cursed and finally,finally surrendered and accepted my hair loss. As Pam says below- it is just hair. It is not me.
I hope that your wife can find that same acceptance.
Christine
-
-
Hello husband of wife with Alopecia, I love the fact that you are reaching out for her. That is beautiful and loving and I hope she does join Alopecia World where she will find an extension of her family and support without judgement. I reached out to Alopecia World for my daughter who is fourty and has had a very difficult time accepting the hair loss. She would like to be married and have a family. I know one day she will and thanks to reading stories such as yours and the lovely couple that started this web site the happiness she seeks is possible even with hair loss. I would also like to let the Alopecia World family know that my absence was a time for reflection and taking care of my health so I can be there when she needs me. Thank you again for being there for all who need you. love you all
Wanda Wright
-
Permalink Reply by Tracy Fensome on
-
Hello and welcome
My part at alopecia world is to offer support to women and men that are researching to have permanent makeup that replaces eyebrows, eyelashes and lip colouring. I'm here to honestly answer questions relating to the treatments. I do not have alopecia but what I can say is I have a good understanding and empathy of how alopecia can turn lives upside down. My part is to give back the confidence lost and renew self-esteem by simulating hair by tattooing. Any questions you or your wife may have about beauty or permanent makeup I am here to help along with all the many other great members.
Tracy
-
Permalink Reply by Natalie on
-
Hi Mr. A and Eve! I would love to give both of you support and/or advice about my experience with alopecia and how I handle it. Welcome to AW and don't afraid to ask lots of questions and talk to as many people as you can :)
-
Permalink Reply by Leah Larson on
-
Mr. A,
I think that Eve is very lucky to have such a caring, complementary and compassionate spouse! Alopecia will definitely turn your life upside down and it's hard to grasp at first. You have to let her grieve. She's probably having nightmares too. Hopefully she's at least talking to her friends, if not you. She has to get it out. I also find myself overcompensating with shopping and eating. My son also asks me if I need to redecorate the house EVERYDAY! Keeps my mind off of things.....
It really helps to talk to people with the same condition. Keep suggesting that she get on here....wish I had known about this site sooner.
We're all in the same boat and there's a wealth of info on here, support, etc.
Let us know how we can help! Good luck! Keep in touch.
Leah
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
