Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
I finally told him. Now what?
I have been seeing someone for about 6 weeks, long distance, and finally told him this past weekend about having alopecia. This is the first guy I've dated long enough that I thought I should tell, because things had been going great, were progressing, and honestly, I was tired of hiding it from him. At first he thought I was kidding, then when he realized I wasn't, he said that it was ok because he was losing his hair too (then proceeded to take off his ballcap). I grinned and thought he handled it quite well. The weekend was great after that, and he even asked me to stay an extra night. Now I'm not so sure.. The past two days, we've texted each other, but he hasn't called. I don't know if he's taking time to digest this information, or if he's decided he can't handle it. And in the meantime, I don't know what to do. I want to talk to him about it, but want to give him time to adjust, and also don't want to make it any bigger of a deal than it already is in my head (no pun intended). I've read so many posts with "get rid of him, he's not worth it," but I really feel I should at least give him some time to come to terms with it. After all, I've had two years - he's had two days. Anybody have any great pearls of wisdom??
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Kristin on
-
Continue as you are. Give him some time. If he is the right guy for you... he will accept you for you. If you come to find out he isn't, you can move on then. But you are right its only been a couple days... give him time to think through his thoughts. Life is funny... i date and then lived with someone for 5 years in my mid 20s. We hadn't gotten married. One night he comes out and just says "i can't do this anymore. I want to be with someone with hair. I cant put my face in your hair when we are sleeping".. i don't wear a wig at night. I thought "wow that came out of no where". We had been together 5 years and it never dawned on me he was having trouble with it. But here i am years later (42)-- I've been married to my husband for 12 years and he never thinks twice about me with or without hair. He always says i'm the sexiest woman on the earth... and even when i'm feeling not so beautiful and say.... how can you say that i'm bald.... he always responds "that is what makes you the person you are". So whether he is the right one for you or not---- you will find out and you may need to tell your story to several people before you find the one meant for you. Good luck
-
Permalink Reply by Alliegator on
-
I agree with Kristin. It doesn't sound like he responded negatively when you told him so I am sure that he is okay with it. You never know what he could have going on at the moment. If he doesn't turn out to be the guy for you, you will meet someone else! No matter what happens with this guy, it is good that you told him, and it gave you experience if you ever have to tell another guy. With women and men, if you don't make a big deal about it, then they won't make a big deal about it either. Try to give him time. Keep us posted!
-
Permalink Reply by Cricket on
-
Thank you both for the advice. I tried to not make a big deal out of it, but it's all kind of a blur, so I hope I succeeded. Do I bring it up again or do I just let it go and let him bring it up if he wants to? I'm clueless how to proceed, or how much time to give him before I reach out to him - if I do at all. It would be so easy to build my walls up and just move on without giving him the benefit of the doubt. That's the way I typically handle things, and I'm trying really hard to not do that this time.
-
Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on
-
Don't chase him - don't call him - don't be the first to text him - in fact respond late to a few of his - why - because most men like to persue the woman. I know - so superfacial, blah blah blah - it works - men are wired wierd - just my opinion. He is still checking in with you, via text so that is good, but don't let him 'get away' with that for too long. Like I said - in a few days if he has not called - respond late to a few texts - or better yet - respond the next day if he texts in the evening - saying OH, I tougth I could hear my phone viberate over the music but I guess I couldn't. In other words dont let him think you are waiting around for him (even if you are) Good Luck!
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
