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I think I want a wig, but I'm reluctant
Hi, I'm new and decided to join alopecia world for some helpful hints on how to handle my alopecia areata. I had been diagnosed with alopecia areata after I reluctantly went to the dermatologist about my large balding spot. The affected area is about the size of my hand, but is perfectly situated so that I can cover it up when my hair is carefully placed over it by ponytail or bun. Before all of this, I had beautiful long hair which I would always wear down. I think I want a wig, but am too stubborn and proud to justify getting one. I feel that my condition is not as severe as others and that I should suck it up. Unfortunately, I still feel, as a 20 year old college student, that I would love to feel beautiful again. I can't justify this want as a necessity and can't make the last step.
I guess I would just like to know how other women, who still have concealable patches, handle their growing bald spots? When is it okay to get a wig?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Do whatever you are comfortable with....but there is no harm in getting a couple of wigs that are close in color and style to your natural hair..."just in case." Wigs should not be purchased "in panic or haste."
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Permalink Reply by Nuni Ta on
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I think this is a personal decision to make. I reckon If you can not feel beautiful without a wig you might think of getting one.
You decide when is the right moment for a wig.
I shaved my head because I had so many spots and I was always wearing hats or nothing... months after I decided to buy a wig and I use it sometimes, as I also use turbant or buff, or hats, or nothing!!Everyone is different and you have to choose your way!
Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Ivan on
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Is it OK for a man to reply, or is this a girly thing? Some men are very self-conscious too.
When your hair falls out in patches you have several choices:-
(a) Soldier on and try to cover it up with your remaining hair.
(b) Soldier on and cover it up with a wig.
(c) Shave it all off and soldier on.
(d) Shave it all off and cover it up with a wig.
When do you change direction? ANSWER: When you feel that you are almost ready to do so. I suspect that there is always trepidation and no-one is ever completely ready.
Here's a couple of tips:
1. Buy a flesh coloured swimming cap. Put it on and see how you look without hair. Do you look pretty, or rather like a butch wrestler?
2. Try on a few wigs in stores.
In other words prepare yourself, as best you can, for possible change. To a large extent we can be forced into change. And all that we can do is prepare for it.
Also be prepared for your wig accidentally coming off. It's best to ensure that whatever lies beneath is as best presented as possible.
There are many women on here who, in my opinion, look far better without hair and I'd be very happy to be seen out with them. So, even what you consider to be the very worst scenario is possibly not as bad as you imagine it to be.
Good luck, and apologies for being of the wrong sex.
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Great advice, Ivan. I personally shaved it all off and wear wigs, although I have been told I look good with a bald head, I know it would not fly in my work arena.
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Permalink Reply by baldisnotbeautiful on
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I am a attorney and it would be career suicide if anyone knew about my alopecia!
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i understand you perfectly, baldisnotbeautiful.....I work in politics....same thing for me.....
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Baldisnotbeautiful, Having once myself worked as an attorney ('Solicitor' in the U.K.) for several miserable decades I can totally relate to what you say. We all wear so many faces and play so many roles in life - husband, father, stoic career person, funny fool..... One often asks which faces truly fit and have I chosen the right pathway(s)? One sometimes slips into a pattern of behaving in a certain way simply to please those close to us - people we often think we know, but in reality often do not. I recall once being shocked by my mother saying that she was too ashamed to tell anyone that I had given up the law and become a writer! I always believed (until then) that my parents would always be proud of me. My own life's lesson was to learn to be true to myself, otherwise turmoil prevailed. If being a wig wearing (a presumption, perhaps wrong) attorney sits well with your soul then likely for the time being at least you are on the right path. I believe that we are all in control of our own destiny, but others will frequently try to shake our resolve.
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Cindie, I've not looked where you are based but observe that most members of this forum are located in the U.S.A. It personally saddens me that at work one often has to sterotypically fit into an image which someone else has conjured up. Am image which is very often unhealthy on many levels. I know several women in London who are obliged to wear very painful high heels where they work in retail outlets, and are not allowed to sit down for fear of creating a bad image! Every night they go home and soak their poor feet. At least one can wear a wig or squeeze into those ridiculous shoes if one chooses. In the U.K. although dress codes have - in many arenas - largely been abandoned something far more sinister has developed, namely preferential job opportunity treatment being given to ethnic and sexual minority groups and this being encouraged by parliament. As a firm believer in equality I find this abhorrent. The answer is clear - one needs to wear a pink wig, high heels, and white frilly blouse. And of course always be Frederica at work, not Fred. The world is utterly bonkers. Or I am.
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Hi Ivan
I like your advise Ivan. I really enjoy hearing the male perspective. Thanks for contributing.
Rosy
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Rosy, Thanks. I agree with you that men and women are different in some ways but in the U.K. a great many men would like to wear skirts and conversely girls bovver boots. Neither sex however has a monopoly on either sensitivity or vanity, nor is pain necessarily more acute at any age. I try to see everything in life as a potential 'positive,' although that word is often misunderstood in the context of misery. So what exactly do I mean? It's not religious or philisophical mumbo jumbo, simply an observation on life. Over the decades I've observed that absolutely everyone is faced with some sort of trial, and usually the present trial stretches a person. As a yong person I perhaps believed that money took away most of life's challenges, but I've learned that the rich are often tortured souls. The 'positive' I refer to is by way of opportunity. The opportunity being that without challenges we have no chance to grow as people, to rise above adversity and potentially become better people. Each time a challenge is dodged it comes back at us, often in a different context, until we either learn that lesson or crumple. Any visitor to a children's hospice will confirm that love and light and joy exist even in the sadest of situations. I already hear some readers thinking 'Ah, so this challenge is a lesson not to be vain?' No, almost certainly not. It is a challenge on a much higher spiritual / character level, a challenge not relating to our own personal idosyncracies but relating to the essence of who we are, and what we are capable of becoming. Sorry to perhaps preach. What I say arises purely out of my own life's experiences and many failings before I found cracks in what appeared to be darkness. Readers can accept or reject, as we all find our own individual truths deep within ourselves. It's just my opinion.
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Hi Ivan
I took a long time to get back to this... your opinion is so very valid. Hope you pop back every now and again to say hi.
Rosy
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