I have seen so many posts that closely relate true acceptance of Alopecia with going bald in public. That seems biased and unfair. I wear wigs, and I love them. I have totally and completely accepted my Alopecia, and I am not waiting or working to become strong enough to liberate myself and go bald.

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Nor should you have to. Personal choice... and it annoys me that at times in the alopecia community, there seems to be a line draw in the sand drawn between those who are happy to go bald, and those who embrace wigs. Either is a good decision, depending on who is making it, and what's right for them. It's not that one group are copping out, and the other deserve a medal.

I know that's not everyone's attitude... but it's an attitude that creeps in every now and then, and it's just a shame.
I agree. It's a shame to let something divide us on a topic as important as this. I wear wigs in public but not because I'm ashamed or haven't accepted my situation. I wear wigs because I don't want to stand out from the crowd. I also don't want people to feel sorry for me or compare my situation with the horrible struggles that the victims of Cancer and other serious diseases go through. I feel like as hard as Alopecia is to live with, at the end of the day, it's just hair and at least I still have the chance to live.

We should all be accepting of other people and support each other through our struggles.

I agree GROWCHEMOME!

PERFECTLY SAID! and wearing my wig makes me feel pretty...just like make up or a new outfit :)

Agreed. On me, bald is NOT beautiful! I look like my older brother without a wig. It is a matter of personal preference to wig or not to wig.

I think acceptance comes in whatever form is comfortable for each individual. I, like Heidi, go bald because I didn't enjoy a wig. That doesn't mean I feel wearing a wig is the wrong thing to do, it just was wrong for me. Don your wig proudly, I'm sure you look beautiful in it!

Personally, I think the most important thing is that you're comfortable with yourself, whether that means going bald, wearing a scarf, or wearing a wig. Very few people go out without making some effort to adjust their appearance to meet their own sense of style/beauty or that of their peers.

It could be makeup, it could be dying gray hair, it could be wearing a shirt that hides a tummy roll, or even just shaving legs/arm pits. All of those things are completely accepted methods people use to feel confident with their appearance in public and most people wouldn't challenge any of them. Wearing a wig should be no different.

If you're already strong, comfortable, and confident, then you're right where you need to be. Just keep doing your thing... your way and own it! :)

Good answer Suzanne

Hi Marie,
I'm with you! I go bald at home and when I want to go in chlorine (not good for human hair - even the growth kind!). I feel more comfortable not being the center of attention and just blending in with the crowd. I, too love my wigs and feel 'prettier' with hair. This is partly because I am 'up there' in years and the hair, being 40 years younger than I am, makes ME look younger too and I'm all about feeling younger and prettier! I actually LIKE having alopecia because it allows me the freedom to either wear hair or not and there are times when wearing hair is annoying, like gardening. Even if I had my OWN hair, I'd have to wash it after getting it all dirty and sweaty. With AU, I just take a shower and put my fabulous young hair on and I'm ready to go! MUCH easier than when I had to deal with my own hair. Especially now that I'd have to be coloring my gray!

That's your choice as well as how you feel/don't feel. I feel no shame in being out bald in public. This is my "head", it holds my brain which is integral to the "me" that I am. I don't wear wigs because I find them extremely uncomfortable. As well, I catch a glimpse of myself and don't look like "me". Being bi-racial there are no wigs out there that "look" like my hair used to, unless I go to the extreme and get a huge afro wig, which wasn't what I looked like, nor resembled me in any way, shape or form. This is part of the issue. If I could remotely look like I used to, perhaps I might consider it. But, at this point, the horse has left the barn and I have lived my life as a bald alopecian since losing my hair in 2011. I am comfortable in who I am. Your choosing to wear a wig and finding it comfortable, works for you. These days I unfortunately have to wear a wig if and when I get a "temp" assignment. Corporate America does not like bald women. The assumption is one is sick with cancer, and, as I was told on my last assignment "...it will make everyone feel bad seeing you...". Total bullshit.

Your statement "I am not waiting or working to become strong enough to liberate myself and go bald" reflects something other that I suspect you will eventually face.

Going bald is not "necessary" but essential in self acceptance having this disease. I have read posts on here of women who sleep in wigs, whose husbands have NEVER seen them without a wig;they live a tortured life, in my opinion (and its JUST my opinion).

Having alopecia, in my opinion, reflects the biggest problem with the world; acceptance of differences. Be they physical, religious, racial, political, etc. Less judgment, more acceptance perhaps will bring a better existence, dare I say "peace" all the way around. The acceptance begins with one's self.

I very, very respectfully disagree that going bald is essential to my acceptance of my Alopecia. I think it is interesting that so many agree with this viewpoint. Nevertheless, thank you for sharing so honestly.

very well said. I completely agree, for ME, wearing a wig is mostly a fashion choice but not a lifestyle. I wear wigs to have fun, dress up, or try a new look. I have had Alopecia forever since I was a kid, but I still have a hard time being bald around people, I prefer to wear scarves. I do go out sometimes with nothing on my head, but it's hard and it's really hard for me to look at people, knowing they make obvious assumptions and have the looks we all know. For ME, I am still working on self-acceptance, but it is hard to be different and accept your own differences. This is the biggest thing, one I wish I had a magic pill to help me through.

At any rate, I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that I know that people will accept me once I accept myself. I am working on this everyday, even though it's one of the scariest things I've dealt with in my life. aaaah, life!

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