Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
It is not just hair because other people won't let me forget I am bald
Last weekend I got brave and just wore a skull cap scarf in public for the first time. It's been over 100 F here. I got some questioning and startled looks, but I was ready to answer the questions about cancer. Then, the creepiest reaction ever happened. I was staying the weekend with a friend who was house sitting. The house came with the adult son of the owner playing video games in an upstairs bedroom every evening. I was told he didn't live there, but he didn't have much money so he came over to use his mom's game system. I hadn't seen my friend for a long time and was anxious to catch up with her. I just waved a friendly hello at the guy and walked on. As I did that, it seemed like his eyes lit up when he saw me. I thought it was a little odd but ignored it. My friend and I talked and laughed until it was time for bed. Then, the guy came downstairs and asked if we wanted to smoke some weed. I haven't been asked about drugs since I was a teenager. We were confused and just said no. He went back upstairs to play more video games. After he left, I realized he thought I had medical marijuana for chemo nausea. His eyes lit up because he thought I was a source of drugs. It scared me to think my bald head might make me a target for drug vultures!
Having read others experiences on this web page, I was prepared for dumb questions about being a dyke or concerns about cancer. I never expected to be a target for potheads. It's not just hair. I forget I am bald at home with loved ones all the time. It's the assumptions other people make about me because I have a shaved head that make this so hard.
I wish I had a t-shirt that said "This is not a political statement and I don't have cancer. I am just bald."
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
-
Just looked at your photos, asdf234, and you should have NONE of those (my) issues. You look great, and that new vet may have just been cautious about the dog.
-
Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on
-
My vet has no issues with prescribing the meds necessary even if strong pain pills for my 14 year old sevearly arthritic dog - so if your vet is not doing so I would change vets - or you could explain to him that you do not have cancer, do not do drugs and in fact you have AA and thus wear the skull cap. It just depends on what your are comfortable telling him. You could also try a hat that is perhaps a baseball hat or scarf - sometimes new human doctors feel they need to build trust with a patient before they will RX strong pain meds - maybe your vet is the same way - I am hoping it was not due to your appearance.
-
Permalink Reply by Lori O'Leary on
-
You see what I mean...there is a lot of judgment. I was not offended at all by the comment. I had to learn a great deal of acceptance when I lost my hair. I lost it in my 30s and I had not yet started looking old. Now that I am almost 50 I have had a lot of time to think about how we judge others. Just a friendly reminder that when someone approaches us in a friendly way that it is a jesture of kindness. Even if it is something like weed. I don't think the guy meant any harm.
It is up to those of us who have been judged to turn it around. I am not trying to change the world here just make a few people feel a little less bad.
-
Permalink Reply by Mary on
-
I've got a T-shirt I made that says "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!"
I've thought about making one just like you suggest - it says it all.
The hardest thing for me is that I am able now to completely forget I'm bald when I'm out in public...I really just don't think about it. UNTIL someone asks me about my "cancer" status. It still bugs the crap out of me because it pulls me out of my place of unconcern and reminds me I'm different-looking.
But, check out my blog about my experiences in Indonesia - the way things are for us here is still way better than this:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/profiles/blogs/why-ill-never-again-be-...
-
-
I love that t-shirt idea! I went diving in Bonaire within weeks of losing my hair. It was life-affirming. Thank you for detailing your trip. I enjoyed reading your blog and will keep your advice in mind.
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- Next ›
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
