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IT'S BACK :(
Hi Everyone, I am 21 years old with alopecia areata. I actually have never gone to the DR about this. I recently discovered a patch again. It is my second one. Three years ago I discovered one small patch THAT GREW VERY LARGE on the top left side of my head which really stressed me out emotionally, I started wearing all of my hair to the left side and was always so worried about it moving. I remember that I cried all the time because I felt that this patch made me ugly although only close family and friends knew I had it. My boyfriend at the time even told me that it grossed him out, I acted tought and said I didn’t care but that hurt me. Well, the hair grew, the patch is gone. I have long healthy hair now… my nighmirer started all over again about two weeks ago when I sat in the car with my boyfriend of two years I was picking my hair up and he said “ baby you have a bald spot on the side of your head” I didn’t even look at it and said “ no its probably just the way im holding my hair” he insisted I took a look at it and there it was… my heart dropped and I started to cry and cry and he didn’t understand why, he said it wasn’t a big deal that I am still beautiful that it doesn’t change anything.IT IS HUGE! I wish I could explain to him how badly this has hurt me, how emotionally draining this is.. I have sort of forgotten its there because the rest of my hair covers it if its on the right spot but today I didn’t have time to do my hair for work so I tried to just do a ponytail and it was so noticeable I started to cry, I have no idea how to treat it, how to make the hair grow faster I really don’t want to go though this again. My hair its so important to me, call me shallow but it is. I don’t care much for having a perfect face, body, blah blah but I love having beautiful healthy hair. Guys I hope there is someone out there that can help me cope and understand the pain this “small” thing causes!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Khetsa on
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling as though your hair is important to you. Most people feel the same way love. It's nothing to feel guilty about and it doesn't make you shallow. However much we may deny vanity, we all care about our appearance to some extent. And why shouldn't we? When appearance matters so much; we want to look good in work, among our social circles, at family events, in front of our partners, but most importantly we want to look good for ourselves.
While there are treatments out there, the actual success rate is heavily debatable. Probably the best course of action is to see a doctor regarding diagnosis and/or to try to arrange to see a councilor. Talking through how you're feeling while you're going through this roller coaster of emotions could really help. I know it helped me to an extent, and I know it's helped other people.
Hope at least some of this was useful. Khetty~ x
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Permalink Reply by stefacruz on
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it did :) thank you. I am coping by simply ignoring it, and working around it. It gets to the point where I get so frustrated because i cant do this hair style or put my hair this way or that way and it hurts, but eventually I give up and do whats best and forget that its even there! Thanks! I actually have an appointment next tuesday, crossing my fingers that it will get some attention and something will be done.
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Permalink Reply by T on
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Hi stefacruz. I get you 100%. Since I was 7, having long beautiful straight hair was the most important thing to me. But, unfortunately, I had majorly tight curly afro hair. Not the good kind either. Horrible. So from jr. high and up, I would either have my hair braided with extensions or have weave extensions. When I was 28, I discovered a bald spot in the middle of my head! The middle! Out of all the things that couild happen to me, going bald was the worst. Absolutely. I wore wigs from that moment on. I was so sad, that I felt like a didn't belong. I felt like everyone knew I was going bald and would look at me. Even wearing wigs didn't make me feel better because I knew the truth. I'm now 36 and having hair fake or real was very important to me. I always said to myself that the only thing that made me remotely good-looking was because of my wigs. I felt like hair was the only thing I had going on for me. But I grew tired of the wigs and have just recently stopped wearing them (3 weeks ago). I encourge you to stay strong, cry if you need to and find out your options. Also, I'm not saying you should shave your head or anything (it only took me 8 years to do it), but ever since shaving my head and not wearing wigs, the response has been overwhelmingly positive by family, friends and strangers alike! It's crazy, but I feel more beautiful now than I ever did before. All these years I thought my beauty came from having beautiful lush hair (wigs), but that is so not true! Just saying. Don't get me wrong, if I HAD the option to have lush beautiful (real) hair vs. a bald head, there would be no contest. Hair all the way. But, I have to say, now that I've experienced having both hair and not having hair, I would choose no hair (for me personally). I'll pray that your bald spot fills in though, because that's what I'd want if I was in your shoes. Sorry for the blabble. Hopefully I said something encouraging
:D - T (for Tammy)
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Yes Tammy you did :) Slowly I am learning to ignore it, now when I am doing my makeup and i tie my hair up and I see that big spot there it ignore it. Before it would be a little stab to the heart, Im not going to lie it still hurts, but I am learning to deal wit it. I have long wavy healthy hair other than that so I felt a little bad about complaining, but i dont think having nice hair or not matters when you have a big bald spot. I measure it with coins (odd i know LOL) and its a little bigger than a quarter. I constantly have to hold my hair to my head when I am walking and its windy because IT WILL BE EXPOSED lol i mostly hold it because I dont want to freak anyone out, I mean it is nothing to just see and be like "whatever" about. If it was me and I would see someone have a random bald spot like mine and having nice pretty hair I would def look and be a little weird out, therefore i have to hold it and it gets annoying. But your words made me feel better. Thank you so much. I have an appointment soon to check it up. I am excited.
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It's freaky how one small bald spot compared to almost a full head of hair, shows up like a beacon. How annoying. That's the reason why I shaved my head. Even though I still have hair, all I could see were the bald spots. Hang on tight to your full head of hair (with the exception of your "a little bigger than a quarter size" patch. It's great that you've made an appointment to find out the down low. Hopefully what you've got going on is merely a temporary stress patch that will eventually grow back in again, or something along those lines. Continue to keep your head up. I think things will work out awesome no matter what you find out from your appointment. I'm excited for you! TTFN - Tammy
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Permalink Reply by Lynn on
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I covered spots for 15 yrs that would've normally led me into a wig had I not used a colored spray. Your hair is the perfect color for spray too. I have blonde hair and it was tough trying to find the perfect match. I was using ProThik, but you could look around. I don't recommend the Topik AT ALL.
I even used to spray the spots you could see when I put my hair in a ponytail and no one could tell.
It's tough when you have dark hair and the bald spots are so white!! The spray would really help you continue disguising and hold you off on hairpieces/wigs.
Just a suggestion.
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