Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on May 3, 2012 at 12:45pm

Jazz, art shows, movies, good friends, humor, gardening, travel, college work, cooking, grandson's baseball games, church, reading, coffee house, car show, free concerts, get away from the dang mirror, wig/hat/scarf/good make-up, avoid people and places that only value Hollywood looks, ethnic festivals, road trips, writing, and phone calls to help friends going through tough, non-alopecian times. Also, celebrate the successes of others without mentioning yourself, and they will be drawn to you, remember you. Send a fun postcard to someone you once enjoyed. Send older females in your family Mother's Day cards. Go golf, fish or bowl with fun friends. Make up a celebration and invite people over to party (potluck with a theme?).

It is up to you how to make your days! Think about all the other things on this planet besides hair. Just live life to the fullest, and do everything on your bucket list!

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Permalink Reply by Libby on May 3, 2012 at 12:48pm

Robert,

I know this sounds so cliche but I count my blessings. Other than alopecia I am healthy. I have a job, a place to call home, my family, friends, pets and etc. For all of these things I am thankful....even my alopecia. Has is always been this way? NO, it hasn't! It has only been in the last couple of years that I have grown into my skin...with no hair. Do I still have down days? You bet I do...But I keep repeating the mantra that I have been repeating in my head since my early 20's..." I can do this, I can do this, I can do this." I think that if I can survive living in this society with no hair than I can survive any kind of mud that is thrown my way. Just remember Robert, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this......

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Permalink Reply by wendizzle on May 4, 2012 at 11:12pm

Robert,
Like others have said, you will always experience ups and downs. We all do. People have all kinds of things that could get them down if they let them. We all have to choose each day to love ourselves and realize that any need to be approved of or thought well of is a projection of our own need to matter to ourselves.
I think humor is important as long as you are still treating yourself well. Not self-deprecating, but helping people to see that we control our reactions and feelings about circumstances.
I hope you have found encouragement here.

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Permalink Reply by Sarah on May 5, 2012 at 6:18pm

Hello Robert...
I always thought it would be a bit easier for a guy to be going through this, but through experiencing the thoughts of many on here, that is not true. It is not easy for anyone at all. Some who are born with it, or have had it since they were small deal with it better because (maybe like you) they don't remember or know what it would be like to have their own hair. It's all too easy for others to say, "at least you don't have cancer or something fatal" isn't it? It's another thing to be able to appreciate that fact every moment of every day; because after all, this is a miniture hell for some. Personally, I miss feeling like my normal self, being 'normal' in thought, in spirit, in appearance was more of a healthy state than this could ever be for me. For you, for us all... insecurity is an inner feeling, you can control it sometimes, and others it may control you... but don't let it get the best of you... I do that all too often, every darn day in fact. The best way to beat it I think is to involve yourself (your mind) heavily, and exercise, and hobby the heck out of life. Not sure about you, but I'm tired of pushing people away because of my hair loss... I'm tired of feeling not worthy and insecure darn it... if there was a magic wand I'd visit everyone here and use it on everyone. What a relief it would be... well, we're all here for you Robert. Try to occupy yourself so you don't even think about it. -Sarah

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Permalink Reply by Piotr on May 11, 2012 at 10:44am

Hi Robert! No doubt you will have ups and downs with alopecia. I have it for 33 yrs and what worked for me was to continuously stay occupied, in whatever it may be. Harness your emotions and insecurities elsewhere. For example, take a sport or a class you never took before, go out with friends or family, listen to inspirational speaches from clergy or internet, or maybe its working overtime to payoff loans quicker, just an example. Have a goal to better yourself and if others see you have a level head on your shoulders, hair will be unimportant. Would you rather be without hair or without an eye or an arm or leg? Try look at it that way. Just because we look differently doesn't have to mean we are mentally challenged. ;)

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