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Life changing hair loss
I'm a little sad tonight because we usually go to this big biker function every year with about 800 people. Everyone is decked out and I have always looked forward to going. Since my hair loss is so new, not everyone has seen me in my wigs. My wigs are ok, but I wish I had one I really really felt comfortable in. Anyway I did not go tonight. I sent my husband with his best friend. I just did not feel comfortable going in my wig. I wear it to work, go work out, shopping, my family sees it all the time, but I just wasn't ready for this big event. I thought I was accepting and coping and feeling strong, but I felt like this is my choice not to go. I guess I am being stupid. I miss my real hair and the easiness that comes with it. I'm thankful there are wigs out there, but I just haven't found the right one. Or it's just me imaging everyone is looking at my hair. Most people comment they like my hair when they see me. Definitely better with a wig than without. My faith is strong and I get so mad at myself when I feel weak about it. I just needed to vent a little, so glad I have somewhere to go where they understand. My friends don't get it, but I've notice they are more distant too. I don't think they know how to handle it. I know it will get better. thanks for listening... God Bless!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tonya on
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Sometimes I feel the same way u do!! I have had alopecia since I was 16 & I'm 32 now & I still feel self conscience at times. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'm glad that we can come on here & vent too cuz my friends don't understand how hard it is finding hair that looks right to me, the individual that has to wear it, so I usually go looking alone or take my husband cuz it could take a couple hours. I haven't saw any of your pics yet but I'm sure your beautiful with your wig!!!
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Permalink Reply by Michjo57 on
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Thanks for listening Its nice to know I'm not alone with my struggles.
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Permalink Reply by CaliforniaGirl on
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A biker function? Girl, that's the perfect time to whip out your bandana and wear it "biker style". :)
Go easy on yourself. Adjusting to hair loss is difficult. I still struggle at times but it does get easier as time goes on. As they say, "Fake it, until you make it".
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Permalink Reply by Tracey on
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Oh, gosh. I can relate. I try not to be a party pooper, but sometimes I just don't want to be social because it is stressful when you're feeling self conscious! With friends, I've found I've definitely had to set the tone because they don't know how to act; it's awkward for them. We all have good days and bad days with coping, but I hope you choose to step out more often than not. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Christine on
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I'm pretty new to wearing a wig full time too. I finally got sick of trying to hide the growing loss, getting rid of what was left of my hair was good and bad, at night when I take the wig off I'm reminded all over again that this is who I am now, I don't expect my hair to ever grow back, so I am still in the accepting phase, right there with you. Before I took the plunge I looked into a good wig, and am really pretty happy with my decision, the salon where I purchased it did the cut and color, and they matched my then current style almost perfect, the color turned out great too, so I'm happy with the way I look in it. I was wondering, you said you wear your wigs to work and everywhere else, did you have some trouble the first time you wore it to work? I did, most of those I work with knew I was doing it so no big shock, but still I will never forget walking into work that first time, I was scared to death, someone I feel very close to and whom I had shared what was happening with just happened to be there that day (it was not her normal day to work) I was so happy and excited to see her, her reaction was amazing, she was so happy for me, she said when she saw me she almost screamed! Totally a God thing! My point is the firsts are always hard, and for you this was a first....I'm assuming that the people there were not people you see on an everyday basis, because the would have seen you already. Try not to be so hard on yourself for feeling the way you did, I'm sorry you missed out on something you look forward to going to each year, Alopecia robs us of our hair, I get so mad when it takes other things too. I know what you mean about people not seeming to get it, and feeling a distance afterwards, it's really sad at times. I have a feeling that you may want to do some more wig shopping, you will find one that you feel more comfortable in I'm sure of it. Hang in there and don't beat yourself over not going, chances are you needed that extra comfort right now, and that's completely OK. God Bless you back!
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Permalink Reply by Annette on
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I feel your pain I also have isolated myself in some situations I just don't feel comfortable where people know me with my hair whereas I can go places where I am not know much easier. I don't like my wig as it is uncomfortable and hot. I did by a clip on hair extentions and have safty pinned it to a bandanna which I use more often maybe you could try that. I have only lost my hair about 10 to 12 weeks ago so this is all new to me chin up keep smiling we will get through this :-)
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Permalink Reply by lovemyhair on
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hi,
i totally understand the way you feel wearing your wig that paranoia will pass i was very ill when i first starting wearing hair i was very self conscious but it will pass.My sisters always says people are more interested in their own lives than to be thinking about you..she used to say this alot so to make me less self conscious.Its a hard transition to have your own hair then have to wear hair but when you find a realistic wig nobody will even know its a wig..then you will feel ten times better about it all :)
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Permalink Reply by Ktownnana on
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Hi, I totally agree with you. I've been wearing a wig for several years now and I still feel uncomfortable at times. I find wearing huge earrings help, big necklaces, pretty scarves--anything that will take away from your wig helps. That way their eyes are drawn to something besides your wig. The things I do love about wigs is that I can be completely ready in 10-15 minutes and that is a huge plus for me even though I am retired. Best of luck to you and I hope that these few suggestions may help just a little.
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Thanks everyone for the support. I started working out again (I broke my foot along with the hair loss)and I could not work out like usual. My NY resolution was to start working out, which I did in my wig! No one batted an eye at the gym. I feel sooo much better that I am working out releasing some frustration. I guess I can't control my hair, but I can get my body looking good, right? I know it's stupid to feel that way. I have so many blessings that this hair loss thing seems so stupid to be fretting about. I remember the first time I wore it to work, how everyone so supportive. Anyway, the way my hair looked before, I thank God for wigs!
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You go girl work out your frustrasions. I said the same thing but haven't started now you have inspired me to start. I took to drinking huge amounts of wine when my hair started to fall out to numb the pain I have now totally gone cold turkey no drinking at all anymore so time to get working out. Here's to feeling great.
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Permalink Reply by lina on
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Michele, you are so strong! What wig did you wear to work out? I run in my buff but being on the East Coast people are so judgmental and I feel uncomfortable. I'm looking for a really cool, light wig I can wear under my buff.
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