All you have to do is explain how you feel. Just because you were given a wig does not mean you HAVE to wear it. They have already seen you without hair, you look beautiful with out hair, just tell how you feel and leave it at that.
Or, you could wear it sometimes and not at other times. Nothing says you need to wear a wig all the time. It is just like wearing different clothes. You don't wear the same thing every day. Hair is a fashion accessory.
Thank you, Vicki. I think that phrasing will be very useful. Even just having it on the tip of my tongue, just in case, will ease my anxiety.
Reading your post I think what you are dealing with is quite a complicated situation for you. The kindness that has been shown to you by your work colleagues was obviously well intentioned, but in hindsight possible not what you needed to feel like you.
I've discussed the want to wear wigs with my daughter and many dear friends who have alopecia. Through their insight I have realised this is absolutely personal and individual and therefore totally up to you.
My daughter has explained to me that even though she is absolutely ok without her hair, she prefers to wear a her wig while in public. She has explained that she never asked to have no hair and if she had the choice, she never would have wanted this for herself...of course she didn't have the choice, so her decision was to find a wig that made her feel like her while working to educate those around her what alopecia actually means to her and why her choices (no matter what they are)need to be supported.
Educating people (about your hairloss and what that means to you), and putting yourself out there whether with hair or without can be overwhelming and sometimes it just seems easier to go with what most want. But as you see that isn't really working for you. So, rethink your choices and discuss this with those you love. Telling them you need their full support as you are working through this in the best way you know how...even if it isn't what they want for you.
I'm so confident that you will be able to work this out and feel better about whatever choice you make.
I'm reading between the lines- you have a good friend who insisted you needed a wig and then insisted on raising money for your first wig? That's really sweet of her yet it sounds like it's her agenda. Ya know what I mean? I think I know what you mean. Having alopecia, dealing with it, wearing wigs or not wearing wigs - it's all a learning process. Sounds like, if I'm correct, in the midst of everything, your personal boundaries were a bit fuzzy. Understandably - it's all a process of deciding what you want to do and how you want to live and what makes you feel comfortable. If it's possible, I would try to consciously just decide to go out every day and do what you feel is best for you. One day you want to wear a wig - great! You want to switch styles or colours - great! Wear a scarf or be bald - go for it. Just take one day at a time. So that morning when you head out - just decide to do what you want that day and tell yourself just for "today" you'll not worry about people's opinion. Head out to work and try to avoid the alopecia discussion. Perhaps over time your work friends will learn it's (your alopecia) is no longer up for debate and discussion. And then over time they will stop offering their opinions and two cents. There are always people who offer unsolicited advice. I guess it's good to smile, nod and pretend you are listening and then do whatever the hell you want!!! I don't know if I've read your post correctly - I hope I helped. I went through similar thing at my work place. My hair fell out on my desk and I was balding by the hour and it was traumatic. Of course, talking to people, opening myself up - people feel they can comment and advise at any time. Sigh. It's just human nature, I guess. Do what you want to do! If you don't like wigs, just say "screw it". I like the way you look without any wig! Your face is alive and beautiful! :)
That is very helpful, thank you! It is such a stressful learning process and it's hard to know how you're really going to feel until you are experiencing. Allowing myself to not worry about what anyone thinks just for "today" will be a helpful exercise. Thank you for the advice and compliments!
If you tell your friend how you feel she will understand you. There is no need for you to wear it everyday, just wear it when you want to. A wig is a thing adding confidence and beauty on you, not a thing to give you burden and pressure. i think your friend's starting point is also to make you look better and feel better. you really should tell your real feeling to her, and just do what makes you comfortable.
I feel like you might need some WIGS. I also have bought their home wig, I feel very good.