Alopecia World
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Mentally and emotionally a wreck
hi, my names tiaira im 16 and im a 10th grader in high school. i've recently found out that i have alopecia a few days ago and i don't even know where to go from here? everyone tells me it will be okay but i don't see it that way no one really understands? at school people look at me very different and treat me as if im dying or something, i've never had to face anything like this in my life. Any advice would be great!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. It happened to my daughter in high school also. She ended up losing all of her hair her senior year. I am happy to report that she is doing great. She wears wigs and is in college now. The kids in high school don't understand, they think you have cancer. Share it with your close friends and counselor. Message me if you want the wig site that I use.
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I WOULD LOVE THE SITE FOR THE WIGS!
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Permalink Reply by Molly on
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Hi Tiaira,
I'm new to this too, and I've found that this site is really helpful in letting you vent, ask questions and know that you're not alone! High School is hard enough without having to go through this, but you can do it! Trust in yourself and your inner strength, your mind and your family and friends to get through this very difficult time. It will get better! Kids just don't understand because it's not a condition that they're aware of. Your best defense is a big smile, even though it's hard to manage some times. I recently had a situation with a work event where a very nice associate asked if hats were the new fad...I said, "Well, I wear hats now, I have a "thing." He looked at me like it was cancer and I felt really bad. I've decided that if someone comments on my hats I'll just smile and say, "yup, i wear hats now." Best of luck sweetie, you're not alone and you will get through this!
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Thanks -4- the support and lol nd da tip about smileing it actually gets easier and easier every day for me:)
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Permalink Reply by Michele on
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I started wearing hats to work too...and a colleague asked if I lost a bet and that's why I was wearing hats. I told her straight up...I have alopecia and I'm losing my hair. (I think that made her feel badly)
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Wow that was very bold you you and very brave...Thanks
Much Luv,
MZ.T
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Permalink Reply by Davis McConney-Goode on
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Hi Tiaira, I'm 20 years old and I've had Alopecia since I was 3. It is a very difficult thing to go through. I've been explaining hats, wigs, baldness my ENTIRE memorable life. When I was 16, I made a big decision to shave my head. I thought I was on the path to recovery, thought my hair was growing back and my best friends aunt had cancer. I thought "I know what it's like to be bald, I can do it again, and for a good cause!" It turned out I was NOT on the path to recovery, my hair was NOT growing back and many people said it was a mistake. HOWEVER, I reget nothing. Yes, kids at school avoided me, gave me weird looks, thought I had cancer. Some kid even laughed. They are NOTHING to you. If that is how they treat you, yes, they too are weirded out, but if they can't accept that you are going to look different, than they don't matter. "Those you mind, don't matter, those you matter don't mind" -Dr. Seuss. Eventually some of my hair started to grow back, but again, it was in patches and it was tough. The best support system is your family and friends. I found when I was younger and just beginning to understand what I was going through (around 7 years old) that talking to my peers and MAINLY to my friends and letting them know what exactly is happening helped a lot. Back then my alopecia was weird. It's grow really well for a few months, and then my body rejected the medication and it'd fall out again, progressively getting more and more bald each year. Once my friends understood what was happening when it got really severe, they supported me. When I got injections to try and grow it back, they held my hand when my parents couldn't.
This site is amazing. I think it's especially helpful for those who are just starting out and just don't know what to do. Be courageous, keep on smiling a beautiful radiant smile and let the world know that with or without hair, women and men are beautiful the way we are made!
(Just so you know, I just had my first child, and apparently - babies don't have eyebrows until about 9 months old. So there world! My son and I look the same in more than bone structure! Only, he has more eyebrows than me. LOL)
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Lol....well i have a question i really want to shave my head ive wanted to since the day that i found out i had this because looking in the mirror every morning and night seing my hair just fall out is very depressing i wanted 2 kno if i did shave it is there some type of sparay you can use to cover the patches?......my grandparents and mom really are against this but i think that this is the only way mentally and emotionally i can get through this at least its a step towards getting through this in my opinion!
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I'm not sure of any kind of spray, I live in a really small town in Canada, and so my doctor does the best she can finding out about medication from specialists in the city, but no I've never heard of that. When I shaved my head I just bought some wigs to cover up the patches or wore scarves, bandana's, and hats. Hats were band in my school, but they made a special allowance for my situation.
Shaving your head IS a big decision, so I can see where they are coming from - not to say don't do it. Talk to your school councilor and see if they can make some allowances for you, at least while you adjust, whether you shave your head or not. Have a talk with your mom and grandparents and tell them what you are going through and how you are feeling. They have NO idea, you need to communicate or they won't understand. Communicating what I was going through with my parents is what kept our relationship in tact. There were still ups and downs, fights and all the normal teenager stuff, and I still go through it with my dad, but if I didn't tell them what was going on and shut them out, they felt confused, they couldn't help me (yes, there were those times I shut them out). Tell them WHY you want to shave your head. Maybe your hair won't grow back from it. Maybe it will. Especially with the help of a dermatologist! When I shaved my head, it shocked everybody into realizing how bad my condition was and for 4 years we found a medication that worked long term without having to increase the doseage. Of course, then it just stopped working all together after having my child, but still. It was progress for a while. Tell them how shaving your head will make you feel, and if worse comes to worse, you can always get a wig! (I suggest, especially for young girls like us, to get a couple real hair ones, and if you like changing the colour, get different colours so you don't have to waste money dying the wigs. Real hair you can curl, straighten, whatever!)
And, just as a reference, in my pic, it looks like I have a lot of hair, but there is like almost nothing in the back. I too am tempted to shave my head again. Just trying to find a wig that doesn't itch! If you can, make something of shaving your head, like raising money for research or something. That is what I will do if I shave my head. I don't think I have enough to make a wig, or I would be all over that!
Don't forget, getting through this is not going to happen fast. Take baby steps. Find a support system - well, you did find this site which is awesome! But within your friends, people you can lean on when things seem down. Talk to your family. Don't forget they are always there for you, no matter what!
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No problem, if you ever have any questions you can send me a PM.
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Mariie on
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I know what you mean by that but i am the exact opposite i cant bring my self to shave off the rest of my hair. i try to hold on for as long as i can.
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