Most likely the most unpopular post of all time ;)

I have read many posts on this forum. And I get angry and bitter when I read the
posts about acceptance and learning to cope! I will never NEVER accept this
hideous disfigurement! I look in the mirror and see a repugnant freak!
A carnival side show monstrosity:/ I have tried to commit suicide because I am
in so much torment over this sickness! I am not strong enough to do that but I
will never have peace or a happy moment in my life again! I just have to wait
and pray that I don't live a long life! Is there anyone out there that feels as
 I do? Am I alone? Please help me before it's too late! Thanks Alopecia World:) 
   

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Permalink Reply by Hayley on November 30, 2013 at 9:32pm

You lost your hair. You're still the same person, its still the same world, life keeps going. We might never get our hair back and there is literally nothing that can change that. The only thing we get to choose is how to deal with it.

Sometimes I just cry. I cry and I feel stupid for crying because I have a good life but I'm so attached to this perception of how I feel I'm supposed to be and that I no longer am and that feels so shallow that I cry more. It's not easy, its not supposed to be easy. It's just shit. 

But the only thing you can do is make the best of it. You're going to be okay. Being okay is your choice, it's one of the few choices you have.

Permalink Reply by Tovah on December 9, 2013 at 6:19pm

My Dear Sara:

I know you're in pain.  This disease is awful, but everyday they come up with new remedies.

 

What I want to address is the idea of suicide. I lost my brother to suicide 5 years ago.  My life and my familie's life has been turned upside down. I couldn't work for a long time. I'd sleep all day and be up all night. I'd cry while I was on a group for suicide survivors - which is what I am.  They say that people who have lost someone to suicide have the level of stress at the level of  Holocaust victin. My family went through everything:  guilt, depression, questions, reading, reading and more reading.  It is absolutely the worst thing that has happened in our life. We didn't even know he was depressed.  My life will never be the same. I remember saying to somebody that I would never be completely happy again,

 

If you have to see a psychiatrist, do it. If you need therapy, do it,. Whatever it takes.

Life is so special and it will get better, I promise you.

 

I'm not diminishing your pain at all. I have just lost about 1/3 of the small amount of hait I have. I was crying.

I beg you to do whatever it takes to get your life back n track.  I promise you it will get better!

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