My first discussion about shaving (and AA)

I am even nervous typing this! :)

I am in my 40s have had patches since my 20s, never to the extent I have now. I have lost both brows, lashes and about 60-70% hair. I am blessed because, at this time it can sort of stay hidden, boy "sort of" is almost stretching it. It is really been hard showering...as I am sure most of you understand. It is clogging drains, all over the floor and in our food. My vacuum cleaner wasn't working and when my 14 yo son flipped it over, he was so sweet in telling me "mom, I can fix it...just a little hair." It wasnt ...it wasn't a little...there was so much it wouldn't turn. My 3 yo was taking a bath and kept pulling up hair and said frustratedly, "its your hair again mommy." She doesn't quite understand. What is amusing is my 6 yo favorite movie is tangled. :)

One thing I find so difficult is there is no physical pain associated with it. So I feel so vain crying and being upset. Over the fall my 92 yo aunt had to have her leg amputated...first her toe, then below her knee then above it. She just courageously smiled. Here I am bawling over hair! Finally, my husband, very sweetly hugged me and said "baby, maybe its time". He and my boys volunteered to shave it with me, but I am so nervous! I am VERY overweight ...oh you BEAUTIFUL young women - so beautiful! Not me. :) I am nervous about the patches growing, how to shave it. I cant envision that I would like wig, I don't like hats. So I am thinking I would just be bald. I have been wearing these handkerchief type things, but they slide back and end up revealing spots...big ones too...drives me bananas!

Part of me can not wait to be free from this...the other part is so fearful.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble on. No one else understands. My family says I have a "nervous condition". When I try to explain they pretty much shut me down. My hubby is awesome though I am blessed in that regard! :)

Blessings,
Tami

Views: 215

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Alliegator on June 19, 2013 at 11:37am

I completely agree! I felt a sense of freedom too. I cut my hair shorter & shorter, then buzzed it, and now I shave it. No more hair everywhere is the best part! The only bad part is taking the time to shave it. But a buzz cut is easy to do if that is better for you. Good for you, Tami, for considering it! Hugs!

Also, scarves are fun to wear! If you don't wear a silky fabric kind, and you tie it right, they will stay put.

Permalink Reply by Mom of 5 on June 25, 2013 at 12:15am
Thanks for encouragement! Buzz cut would not really work bcz my patches are so big. Alliegator -your profile is so sweet! Great picture! :)
Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on June 9, 2013 at 8:53pm

Hi

I think the shedding you are dealing with is often the hardest part of alopecia. The coming and going of hair can be debilitating and you seem to be handling things well. I realise this is very difficult with shaving your head being something that can be a very challenging thought. You know there are some lovely ladies here that prefer not to wear any headcoverings (Cheryl and Mary) to name just two. It may be really helpful to contact them and see how they went about presenting themselves without hair.

Like wise1 I feel you should only do this when you are ready. When we shaved my daughters hair I had done a lot of investigating around alternatives that were available to her. That can be an empowering process. You may find Beau Beaus or Buffs a fantastic alternative that makes you comfortable. Also, there are some extremely beautiful hats out there and of course wigs that will help you get on with life. Never say never about finding things that may make a difference to you.

You know I deal with many many people who have alopecia and some are nervous, some are very calm, some are outgoing, some are shy....alopecia is not a nervous condition, it is an auto immune condition that sadly we don't have a lot of control over.

Good luck with everything.

Rosy

Permalink Reply by Mom of 5 on June 9, 2013 at 11:50pm
Thank you so much for the encouragement! It is so good to have others understand,!!!! I was telling a friend tonight that i was thinking of shaving it, she said several times, but your other hair falls over the spots. To a small degree it does, however, its the hair everywhere that makes it tough.

I am praying about it all now! ,

Blessings, Tami
Permalink Reply by michelle on June 10, 2013 at 11:24pm

Good for you!!! Each step you take in talking about it is one step closer in your journey of acceptance. I agree with the others..its up to you whether and/or when you decide to shave. I have AU and really the choice was taken from me...I lost it all.....I don't think there is a 'rule book' about this. Losing your hair is a grieving process. Please give yourself permission to be sad. It is a loss....AND it is a disease that causes psychological pain...please don't minimize this. It was hard for me to say goodbye to my hair. I had a long dark mane of hair. Its been two years since the beginning of this process (I'm almost 51). I found this site and a lot of supportive friends. I wear beanies and scarves for the most part. I'm taking more risks in going out bald.....Please continue to use this site to talk it through....good luck!

Permalink Reply by Mom of 5 on June 11, 2013 at 6:17am

Thank you!
It is a true blessing to have found a place where people understand it IS a disease and not a "nervous condition. My father invited me to his house Sunday. This is the side of family who gathers around me like I am going to die because of anxiety. So I am praying about that. Part of me wishes it would all fall out so I wouldn't concern myself with the shape of my head or the patches or that I could muster enough nerve to just shave it all off before we went. I am finally getting brave enough to not worry about whether I am wearing my glasses or not (they covered my brow loss).

Then I found out yesterday a friend found out she has breast cancer, prognosis is not good. She has 5 kids, who are friends with my kids. I am so saddened and feel so selfish for being upset about my hair. Than last night about 1 minute from my house we found out a 10 yo wast abducted and murdered. So my hair is ...just hair.

To those who do/did shave it - first, did you go to barber? Or family member? Any suggestions? Do you find it needs to be shaved daily? My husband suggested maybe I could use Nair for the hair patches so it would be a smoother look.

Thank you all again. :) This makes me feel "normal". I don't know anyone with this. Also, Not sure exactly how to use this site, but prayerfully I will catch on.

Tami :)

Permalink Reply by Tonia M McCracken on June 11, 2013 at 11:38pm
Tami,
I have AU and have been bald for 5 yrs. The decision to shave my head was so difficult. I too were able to "cover" the spots. Longer than i should have. It's just that final step in losing all my hair. I try not to read too many of these blogs. I just endup crying. It is nice to know there r others that know how i feel. This take s time... Time to adjust to Ur new normal, time to grieve, time to accept things u can change.. 5 yrs later and there r days it feels like i haven't made any progress accepting this... Other days I'm so strong. Time it just takes time. My best friend always tell s me I'm stronger than i think i am... U r too :-) Tonia
Permalink Reply by Sierra D on June 24, 2013 at 8:45pm

It's really hard to deal with all of this when no one seems to understand :( I have also been teetering indecisively as to whether I am ready to buzz mine or not, it is a very hard decision! But from what I hear, it takes a huge load off of you not seeing all the hair everywhere anymore. And my friend and hairdresser recently told me that women shaving their heads is becoming a sort of movement, as a way to rebel against the social norm we have of women who have long, beautiful hair. So you never know, that movement could really grow and we would all fit in with it :-) Good luck to you!

Permalink Reply by Mom of 5 on June 25, 2013 at 12:11am
My husband has really been encouraging me more and more. He and a good friend od mine both keep telling me I will feel so much better. I tucked it all under a hat to sort of get a feel for it, it really did feel so much cooler, but then I caught glimpse of my reflection. :( I keep feeling like I will need a wig, sort of as a security blanket. My husband keeps saying that he doesnt believe i would wear it, bcz will feel so unnatural to me. Then how do i explain it all to people at chuch and such. I just need lots of prayer! As do we all. It is so comforting knowing so many other are going through it as well. HUGS to all of you!!!!

RSS

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service