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My friend tells me "I have AA because I'm too vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease"
I'm pretty mad about this. One of my best friends(which I'm not sure she is anymore)tells me " I have AA because I'm to vain and God is punishing for it by giving me this disease."
I was trying not to tell my friends but I just can't hide it anymore. Since she was one of my best friends I wanted to let her in on it first. At first she was like I'm so sorry! The next day she tells me she has been thinking about it all night and says the line above. I was stocked! I've had AA since I was 9 I guess I was a vain 9 year old!
Just so everyone one knows my friend who told me this does beauty pageants! Oh and also got Botox at 26. Just saying!
I'm so shocked I don't know what to say to her?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on
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Child like can be endearing unless used to disarm women for less than honorable purposes.
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Hi LB.... is that a quote from "The Book Of Stuff Everybody Already Knows, But We Thought We'd remind you Just In Case, Vol. 1"? :)
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Here is another from the "The Book of Stuff Everyone SHOULD Already Know But Might Not", this is a support site - not a dating pool for men to troll looking for women with low self-esteem to take advantage of.
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I guess anyone looking to do that would be automatically redirected to "DownInTheDumps.Com" or somewhere similar....but not being such a guy, I've never been there.
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Permalink Reply by Elaine on
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Thanks Brenda, it was hard but I think it was harder for my mom when I was young. I didn't really care till high school. I never told any one till this year (other then family) My hair has come and gone over the years. When I was 9 till 12 it was bad then it grew all back! I had hair till my senior year of high school. Which wasn't too bad I could hide it. Prom I just had a hair clip in like I have in profile picture to make it a little fuller. By 20 I had full hair again. Then it just fell out a little between 22-27 by 29 it really started falling out and that's where I am today :/ this is by far the most hair loss I have ever had. You are right God only gives us stuff we can handle. We just need to remember we are not alone and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
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Thank you everyone you are all great! I still wish I never told her. I was doing an okay job of hiding from her. But my hair is extra thin right now and she notices everything about how people look. I told one of my other friends what she said to me and my other friend said she once told her if she would wear more make up she would be pretty! My other friend never told me this because she knew we were friends and didn't want to start a problem. So I'm not the only one she has made a rude comment to. I am going to talk to her about this but I'm going to wait till her personal life calms down. I don't want to add anything else to her right now. I know I'm too nice :)
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Permalink Reply by lilyoh on
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Unspeakably rude and hurtful of your "friend"! However, I feel alopecia has the hidden benefit of giving you a way to tell who is worth your time in life and who is not. Like a "WorthyFriend-O-Meter".
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Right, lilyoh. I had an old friend decide to "warn" a guy about my real baldness, before I got a chance to tell him myself (hadn't seen him in 31 years, and I had hair back then). The man cancelled a visit and vanished (he now has cancer and may be homeless), and I stopped communicating seriously with that gal"friend."
Just yesterday, I mentioned to my sister that I might attend an art event bald, and she said I shouldn't. She was quite nervous last year on our vacation, when I took off my hot wig in the car for stretches of road. Maybe those types of people speak from their OWN fear of hair loss/judgment as if it were them, and project it onto those of us who are trying to accept the change or who have already accepted the change.
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Yes, I've found that some family members were the worst. Go around bald when you want. I do alot. Latest exploration for me is creative scarves. The orthodox Jewish women are rocking some great looks. Search on the word tichel. It means little cloth. And the key is the snoods underneath and such, often found under category accessories. I am having a blast wearing and winding multiple colors. See rivka malka, you tube.
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Permalink Reply by BTB (John) on
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Why does any god make losing your hair a punishment, the only thing I can think he is old has male pattern baldness grows a beard to look cool but is way to old to be cool and looks stupid. Maybe because he is so insecure about his own baldness it's the best hurtful thing he can think off. As for vain I am old and bald give hair and youth and vanity anytime, we old bald men hang onto our youthful fantasies for awhile most of us let them go others cant, now that is called immature bald syndrome very common among single men whose condition prevents then being able to form relationships very sad people. I am not alopecian I am just a bald man it is a normal thing causing us no stress. My wife is alopecian and that is devastating for a woman to lose her hair is a life changing event. You have to restructure your life around feeling normal and not feeling like a freak,you confidence suffers you feel unattractive and yes people make stupid comments. After 23 years alopecia is part of our lives and we have both been able to maintain our relationship though there were some very emotional storms as well. We both still hate alopecia and would pay any amount for a cure, I cant say that it will get easy but it will get easier. Me I am an atheists so the god thing does not come into the equation its just another of life's turmoils I am sure if god had the time he would feeding the starving not making you bald. Stay frosty and your-an attractive enough person to get away with being vain.
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John, I know you're an atheist, but if anything serious happens to you within the next few days - being hit by lightning, say - you'll have single-handedly destroyed your own argument....
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of the very few people i have told about my AA, two actually said "knowing how you are, i'm sure this is really hard on you." ?? what?? i too was at a loss at on what to say but instead of saying anything i may later regret, i decided to keep a comfortable distance from these two. they have no clue who i am or how to help me so why stress over them and their insensitivity? i figure whenever they finally discover who they really are as people and are comfortable enough with themselves that hurting others isn't necessary, then "maybe" i'll have time for them... now?? NOT! choose your friends carefully, sometimes you do outgrow some of them...
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