Need your opinion,please!

Hello! I am a mother who has a child with alopecia. I won't say which one but I am trying to get a wig using donation hair. My hair is not long enough so I asked this lady if she can donate her hair and she said yes! I am so grateful and I can't thank her enough. So this lady talked to the wig company and they offered us if they let us film my little girl cutting the lady's hair ,the wig company won't charge us. The lady and the wig company think it's a great thing. All I want was to get her wig until she gets her full hair back. I told myself that by doing it,it might help people who is in same situation. We don't care how much it'll cost,my husband and I would do anything for our girl. She is 4 years old and she is not 10 years old. It's not like " oh,yes! I want to do this! I don't mind showing my almost bald head? Off in public." As a mother, I'm not sure if I'm ready or if that's ok to put my girl out in public. I know people won't care, it's just few minutes in the air but I've seen similar news and it was all over on FB. What do you think? You think is it worth doing that? Mom out their who has child with alopecia or you are adult but if your mom tell you" oh,you know what? when you were little,you were on news by getting wig" Wig company might sell more. The lady is donating her hair to the little who needs hair=beautiful story???you know what I mean? I'm sorry but since the lady wouldn't understand why I need time to think about it made me feel "Am I the only mother who hesitate to show my girl in public?" I hope someone out there understand my feeling. Thank you for reading.

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on December 13, 2013 at 8:04pm

This is something very close to my heart and it concerns me.

When my daughter was 12 she was really happy to be in magazines etc.  We were approached at that time but I decided (me being mum), that I didn't think we had worked enough on ourselves around her condition to actually move forward.  So, I said no.  At that time she was a little peeved with me as she was and is reasonably outgoing and thought being on TV and in a Magazine would be fun.

When she was 13/14 years old she was very different.... alopecia had become something that she wanted to keep quiet about.  She was very relieved that she could become anonymous amongst her peers at that time...and was very happy that she hadn't gone into print etc about her alopecia.

At 16 years old she decided to do a television interview (I was actually working overseas at the time).  Her Dad and her felt comfortable with the programme and the way it was handled.  She was more open about her alopecia at that time and quite happy to talk about her hairloss....she did not show the TV people her head even though they very much wanted her to.  She felt in control.

She is now 23years old (just about) and very open about her alopecia.  She also does quiet support when and where possible in the alopecia community in New Zealand and around the world.

This is a fairly serious thing for parents to consider and I am very aware of the ramifications of doing this with a small child.  I don't like to sensationalise this condition, so I have always been reluctant to use images of little people unless they are extremely confident and the parents feel 100% ok with everything.  

I understood my daughter's personality and worked hard to communicate what some of these choices could mean to her...as she got older she took the lead, but I feel very concerned with little ones as they depend on you.

I have been approached by a few parents in my years around this with the company I work for.  I'm always very mindful of privacy and the fact that children do grow up and sometimes don't want their name and image plastered everywhere.  

Yes, the combination of donation and helping someone in need is a beautiful thing, but I'm just not sure about what is being offered to you and whether is it appropriate for you and your daughter.  Don't feel pressured to do anything.  You have control here.

Hope this helps.

Rosy

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