Alopecia World
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New and Frustrated
Hi everyone,
I just joined the site and I've literally never talked about my alopecia to anyone before, so this is really scary for me. I've had alopecia areata since I was very young, I think my mom noticed my first spots around 3 years old. I wore a wig in kindergarten, but since then, my hair has grown in completely. I have had a few spots here and there over the years, but I've always been able to hide them and they've always grown back. Not even my boyfriend or closest friends know I have this and I'm so so scared for them to find out. I'm now a freshman in college, and my hair has started to fall out very very rapidly. Ive lost about 40 percent of my hair, and can barely hide it anymore. I know I'm probably going to go back to wearing a wig, but I really just can't except it or deal with it. I'm afraid my boyfriend will see me differently and not want me anymore and that my friends will be scared around me. I just wanted to actually write something and say this (kind of) out loud because I really have no one to talk to about it. Id be willing to chat with anyone, but it's also a relief just to type this out and accept that this is real and happening to me and I need to learn how to cope in a healthy way. If anyone wants to share how they told their friends or significant other about their alopecia, I'd really love to hear about it!
-Kaleigh
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Faraday on
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Hello Kaleigh14 and All -
This is my first post. I've had AA for about 25 years. Lost my beard and mustache in the first few years, then started losing scalp hair. My doctor was able to keep it mostly hidden and managed with Kenalog injections into the scalp and - when there was a large flair-up - a regular Kenalog injection into the body/bloodstream. It was visible sometimes but not horrible. I experienced the usual ultra-fear and anxiety that it would get worse. It did.
I finally got to where I'd lost about 30 percent of my scalp hair and one (only one) eyebrow, My scalp hair-loss was impossible to hide.
My dermatologist put me on methotrexate (15 mg/week). Over about 6 months 95% of my hair has returned. It's a little thin in places but I don't care. I am so grateful!
Side effects from the methotrexate have been I feel a little yucky the day after I take the methotrexate and I have to get a $300 blood test every six months. My liver enzymes are a little elevated from the methotrexate but it's worth it.
I hope this is helpful to someone -
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Permalink Reply by Sad1995 on
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You are an attractive woman. Everything will be alright. If you were a man I’d be worried cause women think bald men are ugly. Just love yourself and find some really nice wigs. I’m sure your boyfriend won’t care.
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Permalink Reply by Mendy on
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I dont agree I find bold man very attractive and that is way before I lost my own hair. Plus when it comes to
man is more acceptable for them to loose hair then in woman. U dont even pay attention to man who has a bolding or bold head but if you see woman like that it catch your eyes.
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I’m a bald man and I’ve never met a woman who was attracted to
my bald head. You are just virtue signalling for the internet.
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Wow I didn’t know that all bald men look just like a famous after with a better physique than 99% of all men.
most bald guys look nothing likw
dwayne Johnson and you don’t find them
attractive at all.
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so not true. I always prefered bald guys from young age for me that is what i find attractive. plus older you get less you care about how man looks like as lomg as they are nice and treat you well with respect. sorry but true.
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luckily even for man there are lots of good options. Which looks very natural. I have seen some amazing hair systems for man. Have you ever thought about it?
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Permalink Reply by hagster on
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Its quite common for men to be bald, or shave what hair is left; I, too, find it attractive, even sexy. Women, on the other hand, are not supposed to be bald but rather have a thick mop of long hair. Look at TV ads, magazines, and at celebrities. Unfortunately, what you see sets the norm (for the moment) for the rest of us. Besides hair, think: pajamas in public, over inflated lips and asses, botox, wearing your pants waist at your knees, really skinny pants on a big ass women, wearing a dress shirt tail out, only tucking the front of your shirt, ripped jeans, etc.
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Hey Kaleigh, I have a similar situation. Lost my eyebrows in middle school, so I grew my hair out to cover the missing eyebrows. Was good until last summer when I was going into my Junior year of college, I started to notice the long hair I grew to hide my eyebrow loss was beginning to thin/fall out. It happened very fast. Noticed it in August and then it was all gone by November. Throughout that time it was difficult, every emotion besides happiness was flooding my body. While all this was happening I feared loosing everything. My girlfriend, my friends, my life, you name it, it was a worry. I sat and told my girlfriend everything, she was really supportive and has been my rock through my journey. For my friends, this was rough. It wasn’t easy. A lot of hat wearing and hiding what was going on took place. I couldn’t hide it anymore when my hair was being found in the shower in the dorm clogging the drain, (got so bad it flooded the bathroom). It was then I knew I had to tell them, so I did. My thought process was, I wasn’t going share what was going on because it wasn’t their business, until it was. Your friends, if they truly are your friends will be there for you. Hair was a reality, turned fantasy for me, and for a lot of us on this site. Coping has been rough, but I try and find the positives in everything, and absolutely everything. The positive here, is that this isn’t going to kill us. Rock the wig, and the people that are supposed to understand what’s going on will, and to those that don’t, maybe they can be educated.
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Kaleigh - I too have alopecia and have since the age of 8. I lost all of my hair all over. I've been wearing wigs all my life and have always felt as you feel now. Worried about what others will think. I'm 56 now and so I've been completely bald for almost 50 years. I can't say exactly what your boyfriend or close friends will say, but I can tell you that he is with you for many reasons, least of which, I'm sure, is your hair. Believe me, I've had that same conversation with every significant other I've had and the conversations were always much easier than I ever thought they could be. I've had many lifelong friends who have been supportive. Maybe its because I'm 56, but I can tell you it isn't the worst thing to happen in your life. I know you know this...so I just say it to reinforce you. You are more than your hair. Since I lost all my hair so young, and never got any of it back, I can't imagine how it would feel to have to go through this all your life. But I will share with you that I learned too late in life to just let it go and accept it. I've gone through depression and zero self confidence. I've believed myself to be less than human. I didn't do things in my life that I wish now I would have. But one day a few years ago, my local wig shop was doing a TV news show in their shop to bring awareness to all women, men and children who suffer from baldness for any reason. They wanted volunteers. I told my daughter about it and she said DO IT. I said you are freaking nuts! So she nominated me on her own. I read the letter she wrote and I cried. She believed that I could not only could do this but that I would be an inspiration. I suddenly realized that people didn't view me as less human, or ugly or damaged. So I ended up doing the TV spot and it was the most scary and most liberating thing I had ever done. I learned a new word that day. Brave. I've been working on being brave ever since. I even did a commercial for the same wig shop. I'm no longer bound by the constraints I put on myself. But it is a process...and for me, longer than I should have allowed it to take. Of course everyone has to do it at their own pace, but I do know, from past experience, that I held myself back from my own fear. There was no NAAF or Alopecia World to talk to back then. I had no-one, so I thought. Your boyfriend and your friends will embrace you and support you and lift you up. If they don't, do you want them in your life? You are beautiful and starting a brand new adventure in your life. Take your alopecia with you on this adventure! Please feel free to message me. I don't know how I got through this without support but in today's world, being bald is a choice by some. A badge of honor and survival for others. Your courage to talk about it might give someone else strength to reach out and find someone to talk to.
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