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Not Sure How To Break The News
Hey everyone!
Okay so here is my dilemma: My twin sister and I are both pre-vet students studying to eventually become large/food animal health vets and I found a vet that is willing to mentor us over the summer. He lives about 3 and half hours away from us but he said we could just bunk with him and his family at his house which is great cause a 3 hour drive is not pretty. I have only talked with him over the phone but we are going to be meeting him next monday once all our uni finals are over, and figure out all the details. He sounds like he is really nice and laid back so I'm not so much worried about the reaction but I don't know how to say it. My dilemma is that I don't know how I should tell him I'm bald because when I'm not out and about I don't put anything on my head so him and his family are bound to find out. Plus whenever I go to the barn I just wear a bandanna or a baseball cap because wigs make me pass out when it gets really hot in the summer and I'm riding. How should I tell him? I just don't really know what the right way would be or that wouldn't be totally weird and random because its not likely its going to come up in the conversation on its own lol. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Dielle
Okay so here is my dilemma: My twin sister and I are both pre-vet students studying to eventually become large/food animal health vets and I found a vet that is willing to mentor us over the summer. He lives about 3 and half hours away from us but he said we could just bunk with him and his family at his house which is great cause a 3 hour drive is not pretty. I have only talked with him over the phone but we are going to be meeting him next monday once all our uni finals are over, and figure out all the details. He sounds like he is really nice and laid back so I'm not so much worried about the reaction but I don't know how to say it. My dilemma is that I don't know how I should tell him I'm bald because when I'm not out and about I don't put anything on my head so him and his family are bound to find out. Plus whenever I go to the barn I just wear a bandanna or a baseball cap because wigs make me pass out when it gets really hot in the summer and I'm riding. How should I tell him? I just don't really know what the right way would be or that wouldn't be totally weird and random because its not likely its going to come up in the conversation on its own lol. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Dielle
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Congratulations on the opportunity! I understand your concern, but I've found that, for me, it's best to just come out with it. I go everywhere bald. Other people don't seem to think it's a big deal, and they appreciate my explaining so that they don't worry I have cancer.
I don't think you need to "warn" him in advance - just show up as you are, smile, and say something light-hearted about why you don't have hair.
But, if you'd feel better "warning" him, you can tell him over the phone something like: "By the way, just so you're not surprised when you see me, I don't have any hair. I have Alopecia Areata...I'm perfectly healthy, but I just don't grow hair." It may seem random to bring it up, but it will be okay and he'll appreciate it.
If he's a vet, he probably knows what it is, so he won't be concerned about it.
Good luck!
Mary
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Permalink Reply by Dielle on
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Its not that I feel like I need to "warn" him as you said but its a discussion that has to be had and I am more looking for conversation starters or different ways to to tell him to figure out which way is the best way for me since I am not necessarily shy but I'm not super outgoing either so starting conversations is hard for me but I'm fine once I get going.
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Understood. Just dive in with a "By the way..." type intro and once you start, you'll be fine.
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Thank you so much for your answer, it was really truly helpful and I really appreciate it. My mum was planning on coming with us on Monday when we meet him so I will let her know that I might need her to help me get the conversation started about it cause I'm a bit of a chicken and she definitely is not lol. I think I might ask her to follow your mums example and give him a call on my behalf because the conversation is a lot less scary for her and that way she can let him know that he can ask me any questions that he has when we meet him. Not surprisingly its easier for me to talk about it when someone else brings it up but very few people are willing to since they think you will be offended so its kind of a hello rock meet mr. hard place lol.
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Permalink Reply by Deborah Gay Smith on
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DIELLE---Wear a scarf first and mention "Oh by the way, my sister and I have Alopecia Areata. Do you know what it is? If not, then explain it. It is an autoamun diease..and then explain what happens to the hair in the beginning and what sometimes happens and some people looses all their hair.. And we are one of those type of people that looses all of it...Be frank and stright forward about...theres nonething to be shamed of...Continue to tell them- it happens to women, men, children, at birth to the young children.
Then take off your scarf and show him/family. You may ask him, if its ok with him that You usually go scarf less or else if he wants you to wear a scarf...for the public while working.
People usually understands or never has heard of this diease before. Its a good way of educating the public!
sorry about the spelling:(
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