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Offended at work
I never had a problem wearing a turban with a scarf to work at my previous employer which did happen to be a non-profit organization. I've been in a new position now for awhile and it is in the corporate world so I do take into consideration they do things a little (or a lot) differently. I do, at times, have to see the public and meet and greet clients but on this particular day everyone was out of the office and I decided to wear my turban with a dressy scarf. It is, in my eyes, still very professional and my dress was still work attire. However, today my boss told me that it was inappropriate and told me that I could not wear it again, in other words, and I asked this, I have to wear a wig. Has anyone else had to confront this because I am struggling. I have had Alopecia for 34 years and have never had this happen. It was very hurtful and offensive. I normally wear a ball cap and bandana when I'm not at work and I can see that a ball cap may not be appropriate in this setting but this was a turban with a nice scarf.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Chris Garrison on
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I have had similar experience, just this year.
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Permalink Reply by Sharon Beckham Hinson on
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Really Chris? What ended up happening in the end or is it still going on?
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Permalink Reply by Tim Irvine on
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Here is a thought. Do you think it was the turban that he found inappropriate? Or the fact that you did not have a wig on? I will assume he meant the turban. But you might ask him if he'd rather you not wear anything on your head. I am sure that might cause all sorts of panic attacks on his part. I find it surprising that (in our over the top) politically correct world that corporate policy would allow him to say anything about your attire. Do this, look up the dress code. Search it to see if there is anything that specifically addresses turbans or anything similar. If not, you may point out to him that while it may be his opinion that the turban is "inappropriate", you are within corporate guidelines. If he means no harm, he will back off and that should be the end of it. But you will learn a lot about where he stands by his reaction. Perhaps there is an avenue with HR you could explore also. Be cautious however in choosing your battles. Consider this, you may win this one, but spell doom for yourself in the long run. But it could be worth exploring too. Good luck! Tim
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Hi Tim,
I actually think that it was the fact that I did not have the wig on and that it was just "not normal". I shaved what little bit of gray I had on top of my head off last night :) You are right about choosing your battles and I know that I need to handle it appropriately so I am definitely looking into it further. Thank you. Sharon
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie Fimiano on
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I would go into my bosses office and explain to him that wearing the turban with a scarf is like him wearing his pants to work! It is a necessity for you. Unless it is written somewhere in the dress code that you can't wear it (which I doubt it is) I would have to set him straight in the nicest way possible, but also explaining to him that it was extremely hurtful! Stand proud and don't let that jerk get you down!
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Love this Bonnie! It is part of our everyday attire, whether it be in the form of a turban, a wig, or just plain au naturel!
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Permalink Reply by MsLadyT80 on
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I would have addressed this at the interview or once hired. Not everyone, with or without alopecia, is comfortable with wigs. Check with HR and see if it violates a dress code, which it shouldn't.
I personally wear either a cap or scarf when going out and my wigs on special occasions.
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Permalink Reply by Sofia on
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At a previous job we weren't allowed head coverings accessories beyond headbands/smaller hair restraints. (It was a retail setting) That's when my bout with alopecia started. Our company had an open door policy, I went in and sat down with the store manager and discussed my condition, that I prefer to cover up with scarves. I never had any issue, he sympathized (without pity) and I wore scarves everyday (and eventually wigs when the hair loss got worse). Of course I stood out like a sore thumb and all my coworkers knew something was up.
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Permalink Reply by Gemma on
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I have never been able to relate to the corporate world well, and this is pretty much why... too many people who think they know how to "look" important, but are completely devoid of common sense.
I agree that you are going to have to read over the corporate wardrobe policy and have it on hand... mostly just so you're armed with it before you proceed. Although, by rights, it's your boss who should be consulting policies before approaching staff about their attire, and he/she should state which clause of the policy the staff member is in breach of as part of the process. (Hmmm... sloppy work on their part I must say).
I'm sure that a) you did nothing unprofessional at all, and b) this corporate boss is nowhere near is important as they like to think. If the President of the United States were a woman with alopecia, and she visited the UK and met the Queen while wearing a very professional outfit and a turban... would you have a problem with it? (Lol - best analogy I could come up with sorry).
You're very likely to be covered by the equivalent of the Anti-Discrimination Act (what is called where I am), so get in touch with local advocacy groups to find out where you stand as well. And if things start to get petty at work... bullying, retribution for defending your rights, manipulation... all the usual petty stuff... keep a diary, and keep it under wraps until you actually need it. Be really specific in it, including the time, location, exact words, and names of people within earshot for every incident. If it's possible that a complaint of the nature will ever be filed, your records really do have to be that detailed.
All the best! I'll pop back here to see how things pan out for you :)
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Permalink Reply by Debs on
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I don't think your company can possibly have a dress code of 'no turbans' because people of the Sikh faith wear turbans as part of their religon. This is just your manager showing his ignorance of the companies employment guides and also of the obligation a company has to allow staff to have dignity in the workplace. I would just go to your human resources department and explain your medical condition and cc him into the email. This should shut him up.
Very sorry you have experienced this problem..
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A few questions:
1. If you were of a faith which required you to cover your hair would that not be allowed?
2. Would he prefer that you walk around with a bald head?
3. Is he telling you that you must purchase a wig?I'm pretty sure this would be classified as discrimination, and I disagree with the point that this should have been raised at the interview. Why should we have to disclose alopecia when it isn't something that physically makes us unable to do our job? Just out of interest, what did you wear for your interview?
Hope you get it sorted out, your boss sounds pretty ignorant and in need of some education.
Marie
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Permalink Reply by Tony on
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Sadly, some in management are clueless when it comes to people skills. When I first lost my hair, a co-worker sent me a link to a video for 'hair replacement'. The video was a spoof which showed a balding man spray painting his head. Needless to say very inappropriate & very offensive. Unfortunately, that former co-worker is now my manager which makes for a difficult work environment. As Tim indicated, you may need to pick your battles.
Personally, I'd check the dress code requirements. If head wear is not allowed you may need to tread lightly until you obtain an exemption. Most companies in this day & age are more than willing to accomodate a reasonable request. Hope this all works out for you.
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