Omg! My brother just outed me on Facebook!

Thanks jerk for the photos of me bald and tagged so all my friends, coworkers. acquaintances can see. I wanted to tell them when I was ready not by being outed by you. I am completely mortified and need some moral support here. What now?

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Permalink Reply by Kate anderson on July 6, 2011 at 10:55pm
That not cool of him... its your disorder and its your place to say when and how people find out. If it makes you feel any better i just outed myself on facebook today... now everyone knows. Im sorry this wasnt done on your time, but now that its out embrace it. Your a beautiful woman and your Alopecia makes you special, not different :)
Permalink Reply by Jasmine on July 6, 2011 at 11:32pm
Thanks Catherine and Kate for your support. Kate how did you tell people on facebook? Catherine when did you first come out and how did you get the courage to do it?
Permalink Reply by Kate anderson on July 6, 2011 at 11:42pm
I started writing a blog on here the other day and i decided to link it to my facebook. So every blog i write automatically appears on my facebook page. It feels great :)
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on July 7, 2011 at 5:15am
Do our answers and names appear there? Some of us want privacy and control over who reads our words or sees our photos. We discuss personal history here.
Permalink Reply by Jasmine on July 7, 2011 at 11:38am
Thanks Alice!

That is exactly how I feel about it. It is a medical issue. There are so any things worse than alopecia, but alopecia is horrible in the fact that to appear as you truly are is to let everyone know your personal medical history. I am usually a private person with this and I am fine with being bald in front of friends and family. I know that my true friends will not care, but it is my choice to share my medical problems and no one else's. It is embarrassing to have to confront it when you are not ready. I don't hate my brother for what he did but I certainly feel more guarded around him and now I have to deal with the aftermath of his stupid judgement before I am strong enough and ready enough for everyone to know my complete medical history. All my friends and acquaintances don't always share theirs so why should I have too?
Permalink Reply by Carmen Dayhoff on July 9, 2011 at 1:21pm
Can't you un tagg yourself from the photos? And I think that un friending him on fb would totally be a HUGE option. Also you could even block him. Just saying. I think that saying "you love him but not his behavior" would be a great way to say it. Also Idk if this was a younger immature brother, or a brother who wasn't thinking, or a brother who is proud of you.... but it could have been that he didn't know you would be bothered by it. I definately think that it is necessary to confront him very honestly. Tell him how you feel about it. Give him the chance to apologize and help deal with the after math of his mistake.
Permalink Reply by kastababy on July 7, 2011 at 3:51pm
Unfriending family over something that is probably unintentional is petty and childish. Rather than arbitrarily doing that first, why not ask him about it first? It says a lot about how unconditional acceptance really is when family members show you off, bald or not. Jasmine, I would also be willing to bet that your brother is probably the first person to defend you and your alopecia to others too if they say something that could be remotely perceived as out of line about you or your hair loss. That in itself is something to be proud of, not ashamed.

Unfortunately, there are so many people on Alopecia World that loathe and hate themselves so much that they will shut everything and everyone out of their lives, and if anyone, family included, happens to mention them or anything about them in any context other than one that THEY can micro-manage and control, they throw hissy fits about it - and end up cutting off the very support that they say they need to "come to terms" with what's happening to them. That behavior burns a lot of bridges, and I can only urge you not to be like those people.

At the end of the day, ask your brother about it first and give him a chance to explain himself, especially if it's something he's never done. And if nothing else, be proud that he loves you enough to share you with the whole world, regardless of what's on top of your head. After all, it could be a lot worse -- he could have posted a picture of you sleeping with drool hanging out of your mouth and zits on your face and shaving cream or toothpaste all on the pillow making you look ridiculous!
Permalink Reply by Jasmine on July 7, 2011 at 4:17pm
I don't know who's brother you are talking about but unfortunately it is not mine. Ask him why he did it? I would if he would call me back but he won't. He doesn't need to because I know "I thought it was funny" would be the answer. He doesn't care how I feel and can't see outside himself.

I am not one of those people you are talking about on alopecia world who spends day in and day out hating their appearance or feeling sorry for themselves. I have been beyond that for a long time. I'm sorry you are sick of those people but don't take it out on me.

What my brother did has implications beyond me and toward my son and his friends at school. I'm glad you have a close family that stands behind you and you are lucky for that because not every one does.
Permalink Reply by Kate anderson on July 7, 2011 at 2:43pm
Nope they dont. Just my Blogs. None of your information, comments or even the site information comes up. Its not my place to out other people. So dont worry everyone :)
Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on July 7, 2011 at 12:17am
Alas,Privacy truely is a thing of the past. Big "Brother" is always watching, and so is everyone else. What can you do? They say you're only as sick as your secrets, so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. But, honestly I'm glad nothing like this has happened to me! Hang in there, just act like it's no big deal, and soon everyone else will, too.

Ask your brother what he was thinking when he posted this. Was he just being clueless, or was he consciously trying to out you/ piss you off?
Permalink Reply by Jasmine on July 7, 2011 at 7:31am
He is clueless but old enough not to be. He thought it was funny. One picture of me with my cat was titled Dr Evil and Mr. Bigelsworth. Funny? Maybe if you are an insensitive moron. He took the pics down after a few hours but now I have to figure out damage control. Who saw them? Who didn't? There were some comments left, I can start there. I'll always be wondering who else saw unless I say something. Now what that is I'm trying to figure out. I have been thinking of telling more people on my own. But I certainly didn't want all of facebook to know. There are people on there who I would never tell. Even when I go out in public without my wig I still have to have my head covered. I feel naked in public with it exposed. So I guess this is like your worst nightmare when suddenly you're not wearing any clothes in public.
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on July 7, 2011 at 10:14am
Most likely, very few saw, or they thought it was a Halloween joke. Ignor it, and deal with one person, private message, at a time. You have the power to delete any comments on your Facebook page, you know! Go to your security options and make some new choices.

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