In this day and age it is never a bad idea to be ‘too careful’. This site is a support site for those of us who are experiencing hair loss or who are close to someone that is experiencing hair loss. This is not a ‘dating site’ but yes some on here do meet others that they desire to get to know better.
I know of one couple that met through this site that appears to be a ‘success story’. But , bear in mind that when someone’s self-esteem is suffering, whether it be from hair loss, or growing older, or weight issues, issues of abandonment, etc. some men are drawn to those women, and not all of those men are kindly men who desire to understand and perhaps help such women.
Some men like, no make that NEED, a woman to have self-esteem issues as a way to control that woman, to keep her off balance, to implement their will over her. That man probably deep down has his own self esteem issues and uses yours to make himself feel better. That man can be a dangerous person to those of us who have low self-esteem, making a bad issue a gut wrenching, awful experience – and one which may take a long time to get over. They seem so normal at first, kind, funny, wanting you to share your insecurities while carefully guarding their own.
They seem charming and flatter you – until you get to know the ‘real them’. They are insidious – before you know it you have feelings for them and you can’t understand where that caring person that you first encountered went to, and long to get ‘that person’ back. Some men are better at this ‘dance’ then others – they will reel you back into the relationship by reverting to that kind person – then once they feel you have reconnected they go back to who they really are. This keeps you constantly off balance and that makes you much more easy for them to control you and the situation. If you wonder where that ‘kind, loving man you first ‘met’ went - the answer is, he was never that man to begin with.
Did I meet such a person, yes, but not on this site. I met them in the ‘real world’. Imagine how much easier it is to deceive on a computer where you cannot see their facial expressions, or read their sensitivity level. Yes I was taken in by one such man who targeted me and my low self-esteem and that ‘experience’ left a permanent mark on my psyche. BTW this happened to me when I had a full head of hair - from all outward appearances there was no reason for him to suspect I had low self-esteem, I was never lacking for male attention, was told often by others I was attractive (although I never believed them), I did not think I had any outward ‘signs’ my self-esteem was not good – and yet HE could tell, because HE knew what to look for, because HE was a predator who carefully culled women like me, because he would only be interested in a woman who did have low self-esteem. It took a while, a long while for him to reveal his true self – predators are often skilled at such ‘hiding’.
As a side note, I eventually did meet a man who is caring and loving and who has NEVER used my insecurities against me and for him. Was it hard to let him into my life – you bet it was. Was I guarded- yeap – and I explained to him why. He understood and was willing to go at my pace. Eventually I realized I could trust him. Do I still have self-esteem issues? Yeap, I still do, although they are getting better despite my continued hair loss. He often tells me I am beautiful and that he is lucky to have me and usually I just say a polite ‘thank you’ – which he never accepts – he says he will continue to tell me until I finally realize it myself. He jokes when I do – watch out! – he will take credit for ‘creating a monster’ of self-esteem which always makes me laugh. Actually, I am the lucky one. Sure we have other issues to deal with – just like any other couple – but he is a good man – and good men, while out there, are hard to find. There are a lot of toads pretending to be good men. Don’t kiss them thinking they will somehow magically turn into a prince. It just does not work that way.
So be careful, look for signs early on – listen to that little inner voice that is telling you something is off. Do not trust blindly but rather make him earn your trust. And be safe.
ow, I totally agree with you that women do not have to trust blindly but rather make him earn your trust. And be safe. Especially when using dating sites
You know, relationship between men and women is something that defies explanation, because for example, my friend, originally from Venezuela, was looking for a guy in the app for venezuela singles and now she already had 10 guys, but after the last guy she fell self-esteem due to the fact that they were uncomfortable with each other and she blamed herself for it. She always wrote to him after the breakup, called him, in other words her self-respect left not a trace... So I started to support her, even found her a very caring guy in this app, and you know what? My girlfriend changed! She became more confident and now she enjoys her relationship meeting with a beautiful, caring and simply awesome young man.