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Rejection from men anyone?
My boyfriend left me after I woke up one morning with severe scalp pain followed by about 30% loss of hair. Since then I went on another date and told him what happened and needless to say I never heard back. My hair loss has slowed down and still no diagnosis to why I have this debilitating pain every day. Has anyone experienced relationship problems from not only the opposite sex but even your friends? It's so sad how judgmental people are. My hair loss has slowed and until we get a diagnosis, they said it could be Burning Scalp Syndrome. I was also told by several doctors that it is "all in my head". How frustrating! I just don't know when this will go away or if I'm on the road to something more severe. I guess time will tell!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tiffany P on
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I wasnt dating him but a guy i knew in my early teens showed up at a furneral i was attending. anyway i had a huge crush on him in the past and was excited to see him agian we started talking and exchanged numbers. anyway to make a long story short after this man called twice a day and wanted to fly me here and there i told him i was having hair loss (at the time i didnt know why) and he never spoke to me agian. i'm glad i told him and he ran because i would have been mad if i had invested energy and time into him only to find out later he was a jerk. Hair loss is a great way to find out whos real and whos not. I dont like the fact that i'm losing my hair but it has opened my eyes to alot of things and more importantly was able to show me who was my true friends and who wasnt. I rather be alone and happy then with a man and miserable and by no means will i settle. So in the end yes because of the media, hollywood etc it has turned our society into shallow minded idoits but what can you do? Most important is to take care of you first and if a man would turn you down because of lack of hair, he wasnt worth your time.
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Permalink Reply by Julie Koch on
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Why do people have to be like that? I unfortunately did invest a lot of time in him and his son. He played me for a fool in the beginning telling me everything a girl wants to hear. He said he would be by my side through any problems and I was the person he had been searching for since his divorce. He said he didn't care about looks and he loved me for me. Literally, the day I told him, he made up some lame excuse that he didn't have time for both me and his son. I rarely talk to him and think it's best if I just cut him off for good. I don't need people like that who judge others and who lie right to your face. I don't know if I am going to keep losing hair or if this is a severe case of TE. BUT, I have learned so much from going through this emotional and physical pain of having lost a lot of hair. It made me realize who really is there for me when my looks may be changing. I have been judged my whole life having struggled with eating disorders since the age of 12. I am still very underweight and have been dealing with eating issues for 18 years. I was always judged and ridiculed. It's so difficult going through this when you're a young woman and still hope to find someone. I agree with what you said about being single and happy than dealing with someone who might wake up one day and decide he wants someone else who's "prettier". I have my family who never gave up one me and NOW I have this website and it encourages me think positive and know that I am not alone. Thank you so much Tiffany!
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Permalink Reply by Dana Kozlowski on
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I guess you can look at him leaving as a blessing in disguise. If it wasn't the hairloss it probably would be something else. There are many good guys out there that will love you for who you are not your hair or anything else. I have been with men that look for excuses and now I am with a wonderful man that when this happened he did everything from going to the doc with me to waking up early to put medicine on my scalp. He still does to this day. I contemplated shaving my head and he was with whatever I wanted to do. He even paid for my hairpiece which I could not afford. He was willing do to whatever to make me smile. You will find someone like that I have faith :) Unfortunately you have to go thru the bad to get to the good. I dated two guys that when I think about it today they were so selfish and self-centered I am glad they are out of my life.
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Holy Crap! I NEEDED that dose of reality! Everything you said was so true and you inspire me beyond words. I am so thrilled to have found this site... Such beautiful and amazing people that never judge and knows what this feels like! I had a whole bunch of blood tests today to see why I have so much scalp pain and losing hair. I have been to 4 dermatologists and they are clueless. Never even heard of it before! I am the one teaching them now. I hope to get some answers soon. Thank you SOOOOO much for your inspirational words! I look forward to meeting more people and I am so happy to have met you!
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Permalink Reply by Antonio (Tony) Rivera on
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I feel for you because it is happening as an adult I grew up with alopecia and had to learn to cope as part of my being. I would just remind you that you are still the sme person and your character wis what really matters. As for the pain I hope you get some relife. Take care and be strong
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Permalink Reply by M on
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Stacey you are awesome!!! Thank you so much for your caring and wise words Hon. I just joined and really needed to hear this.
Marie
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Thank you Antonio and everyone else!
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Hello Julie,
I had polio as a child which caused me to have legs that look like they belong to two different people. I walk with a limp with one leg weaker and a bit shorter than the other, so I need a cane or two sometimes. I had a few teeth pulled and now use a partial plate. I am a few pounds overweight and now I've lost more than half my hair. Does all this change who I am inside? Does it make me less worthy than others, hell no! I am a very loving, gentle, kind, attractive and intelligent woman aside from all this lol. We all, everyone on the face of this earth has issues to deal with, some are just more noticable than others. We are all beautiful. I look at your face and listen to you and you are a very lovely young woman, very pretty.
I do hope you find relief for your pain soon Julie.
Big Hugs
Marie
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on
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Keep your head up Julie. It is not all in your head. I've never heard of burning scalp syndrome but whatever the case maybe, there are "shallow" people everywhere. If this guy and others left you because of your hair loss, they aren't worth it. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't like you for who you are. I've been in the dating scene for a while and I haven't told any of them that I wear a wig or now have fake eyebrows! I still have a lot to learn too.
You are beautiful, hair is not everything.
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Thank you Jennifer! I always wonder what would have happened if that guy and I had gotten married like we had talked about... I wonder if he would have left me or stayed because of the vows of marriage! He is already divorced, so I bet he would leave!! lol... I'm over guys right now.. I have too much to deal with than worry about someone else at the moment. You're right though... Looks change and if someone can't accept it now, when will they ever except it as we age!
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Permalink Reply by caroline knight on
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i wont talk about ppl right now!! dont wana feel upset appart frm they are scared it will hapen 2 them n cant handle what u r goin thru so they avoid us! even demotologists all seem cold i think its because they cant fix us.....but jus wanted 2 tel u my scalp was hurting n burning i use alovera gel on it every day now it seems 2 calm it n stop the pain + burning i hope it helps u2 :@) x x
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