Alopecia World
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Struggling...
Hey everyone,
I'm glad to have found this website and hope it will prove useful and uplifting for me as I am having an incredibly hard time as of late. I've had Alopecia for 7 years now and every time I think I have a handle on it, I seem to have a breakdown again. I've never had a great self esteem and I have always felt inadequate to other women. I always feel that people are staring at me...even though people tell me i'm paranoid. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and even though he is 100% ok with it (obviously he'd have to be or he wouldn't be with me) I feel that he could be with someone prettier than me...ridiculous and highly childish I know, but I honestly feel that way a lot of the time. I can't imagine someone waking up next to me every morning, no hair, no eyebrows and looking at me and saying "damn, how'd I get so lucky". I can't tell you how many times people have said to me "oh you're so lucky, you can change your hair color and style whenever you want" or "you're so lucky, you don't have to deal with waking up to do your hair". Really? I'm so lucky? Lucky is the last thing that I feel. Makes me want to straight up slap someone when they say things like that. Or when someone comes up to me and asks me why I wear wigs, so I tell them...and they refuse to believe me and demand that I show them. How insane do you have to be to ask someone to show you their bald head? So rude.
I miss running my hands through my hair, I miss putting my hair up in a ponytail, I miss that feeling of normalcy. I dunno...Just needed to vent a little here.
Jacquie
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Demand? Are those people gods? My comment to rude people who ask for exposure to satisfy their own curiosity (or their desire for gossip material) is to ask them if they would embarrass someone with a wooden leg or arm prosthesis by asking to see the limb without the missing part. I then tell them they are rude and unsensitive, and walk away.
People who seek to embarrass others publically do not really know how to BE friends! They have something missing inside...
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Permalink Reply by Ilia Reed on
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Hi Jacquie, what if someone really looked at you saying "damn, how'd I get so lucky" - no hair, no eyebrows and it didn't matter? Tomorrow it will be two years that I went bald - I was looking forward getting rid of the rest of my hair and I was anxious - now I am happy. And I am proud being part of this story of people who are strong and don't allow rude guys to rule their feelings and self-esteem. Yes, I was afraid of the possibility of losing my hair before it started. I was shocked when I saw the first time a friend of mine with a bald head, not knowing that there was something like AU or AA. I discovered the beauty of baldness and discarded the publicised standards of "beauty". Here are so many beautiful people and I often do not even realise that there are no eyebrows or eyelashes on their faces. I just see wonderful people. - I hope I didn't get too long. I just wanted to share my experience and view. Everyone must start the journey and deal with it. this is the challenge. It's worthwhile, though. I can really imagine that someone next to you can honestly say: "damn, how'd I get so lucky". Take care!
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Permalink Reply by Jack Kelly on
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i know exactly what you mean with just about everything you said. no matter where i go i always think people are staring at me even if i know they're not and though i don't where a wig i wear a beanie pretty much at all times even in the summer which sucks but its because with a regular hat you can still see the patches on the back of my head and then everyone will ask "what's wrong with your hair?" and whenever i finally tell someone they'll say the same thing "let me see" or "at least you can just shave it what's the big deal" but the thing is i have bald patches and black hair so when i shave my head i have dark shadows where i still have hair and its still very obvious and i have pretty thick hair and shaving everyday its almost painful! ... and even with the confidence thing I'm the same way girls will tell me all the time it doesn't bother them and they like me for me but i just don't believe them for mostly the same reasons you posted and ill just push them out of my life.
its def rough dealing with this esp when you go through each day feeling alone. and as you said I'm glad i found this site and I'm hoping it can help me. if not at least its opened my eyes to the amount of people just like me going through this.
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Permalink Reply by ShoCorona on
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Hey there Jaqueline...
I've only had alopecia for 7months but can empathise with how you are feeling. My journey happened suddenly and within 10days I went from having gorgeous long auburn hair halfway down my back to being bald!! Then within 3 months my lashes and brows and the res o my hair went and I felt that I looked like Shrek!!
So many stares and comments like 'have you got cancer' 'are you ok cos you don't look well' etc etc Its hard isn't it and 'yes' I think we all feel more self conscious and paranoid about how we look to others but hey 'You're still YOU' and I bet you are a lovely person indeed :) (You look stunning in yer profile pic :) by the way ) Your boyfriend of 2yrs loves and accepts you which is good to hear :) My 4n a bit year relationship ended because of my baldness (he couldn't cope with going out with a bald girl) and change in personality (cos I wanted to hide away + felt so self conscious of the new me). So hey give your boyfriend a masive hug, cos you're lucky to have such a good guy :)
As for the rude and ignorant folks out there, rise above it. You're a better person inside and out than they will ever be. Jus smile and walk away :) and remember to talk to other people on this site, as 'we' understand exactly what you are going through and are always hear to listen and to help.. (((((hugs)))) shO :)
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Permalink Reply by Katelyn Mariie on
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You make me feel lucky. i have had it for 3 years and i still havent lost all my hair. i have like only 10% left but still i have some.
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I know how you feel belive me. I make it look like i have it under control i will joke about it with people but to be honast i dont. i wish i didnt have to finish high school with a wig. but i do i try to accept it its hard. Expecailly in my town we have a little town so everyone is nice to your face then says rude comments behind your back. you are very luck to have a guy who is okay with it. its had to find someone to accpet me for who i am up here. message me any time you need to talk. and about running your hands though your hair and putting it up. i have just got a really nice front lace wig and as long as you are carful you can pin it up and you can run your hands though it. people come up to me beacuse my wig is so soft. (:
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Permalink Reply by Cynthia Lee Watkins on
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I have had my wig snatched off by people who didn't "believe" me when I told them about the alopecia....how humiliating is that???
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Permalink Reply by Chefpam on
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Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I have all the above emotions too. I have severe hairloss-the kind without a name, the kind no dr has ever seen. So I have to deal with the whole not knowing, not understanding thing. Mine has come and gone for years but this time is the worst. I am having a really hard time. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone....hugs and lots of prayers to you.
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