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Support system FAIL
So heres the story the one person i thought that was my biggest support system told me this weekend while drunk that he couldnt deal with my hair loss anymore and that it was killing him. This is my boyfriend. He said that seeing me depressed was making him depressed and that he didnt want to be with me anymore because he couldnt deal with it anymore and it was bringing him down he constantly said i killed it. what did i kill? The biggest thing that upset me was that he said he couldnt deal with my hairloss. i ran away from him and started crying and collapsed to the floor. he was completely hammered but still, WHY??? i dont know how to handle this. we live together and since that night i havent seen him, i dont know how to deal with this, knowing he was drunk do i forgive him? what do i do? drunk words are sober thoughts are they not? im so heart broken and i hate this f$*king disease. i had beautiful hair and i wasnt depressed. if this wasnt bad enough i got beaten up by some skank on friday night too that ended up ripping out some of my hair. I DIDNT NEED TO LOSE THAT F%^KING HAIR I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by kellyc on
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I dont have Alopecia, but my daughter does. I can tell you that its hard on the loved ones too. We do feel powerless to help and alcohol does have a tendency to intensify feelings. You're a beautiful girl and I would never suggest that you stay with somebody who doesn't accept you for who you are, it sounds like he is just frustrated with the Alopecia and it got the better of him. I believe in second chances - I hope it works out for the both of you :)
That being said - another outburst like that and you should probably think about moving on...nobody deserves to feel that way, especially from the person that is supposed to be their biggest support.
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Permalink Reply by Jenn on
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Thanks kelly,
That's basically my thoughts as well at this point second chances are always a good thing. when i wrote this thread i was very angry. It was basically when it happened and i was full of rage, came online and started venting. I've now calmed down spoke to my boyfriend and decided to give him a second chance if it happens again, im out. It was just the alcohol that made him sound like a monster that weekend i dont honestly think he meant any of that stuff he said to me. I know he loves me and cares about me more than anything.
And thank you for your kind words and response back.
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Permalink Reply by Chris L on
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I'm pleased to hear things have settled down now, the anger of our uncontrollable condition will die down and the grey emotional state fades away!!
Its good its out in the open now anyway, you can both reflect on this and strengthen your relationship!!
I still think of the amazing things they can do in the medical world - transplants, live saving operations etc, but an out of sync immune system and a few hair follicles has them stumped :-(
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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What is truly sad is that we are judged by what is ON our heads instead of what is IN our heads!
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Permalink Reply by karen on
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Are Sweetie,
He isnt worth it, men who cannot cope with hair loss are not worth a thought ever again. You are beautiful with or without hair. You are beautiful within your heart remember that. Dont let him make you feel less femine. It is his problem, not yours.
I hate being bald but have accepted it, it takes time, it took my nearly 3 years to get through this. Words said in a drunk state really means it sorry sweetie. You got the truth. When people are not drunk they can choose to say the right thing, not always the truth. I am and we are all with you. If you ever need to chat my number on my profile.
You will find someone wonderful believe me you will.
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