I'll start off first...

This is coming from someone who has AU only for 9 months - everything happened so fast and i'm still in work in progress with EVERYTHING RELATED TO AU.

But i hear others in the same shoes - putting on brows, eye lashes, and wigs then saying you're beautiful and don't need to add anything.  It gives me mixed emotions; like its so hard find ladies that doesn't have any false accessories on.

Maybe it is frustrating for me because i was never that person to wear false anything and have no clue how to even wear makeup.  So this new lifestyle was threw at me without a warning - i feel like i'm Ms. Potato head; i don't feel like a woman at times.

I just wish i saw more women without false lashes and/or eyebrows more often.

Thanks for listening and allowing me to get this off my chest.

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Vent time – an outlet for your thoughts and emotions. Unburden your mind and soul. For scholarly needs, consider dissertation writing uk to ease academic endeavors.

some days i just need it

This is coming from your future self… from a women that has been through all

this is the first time I reply in these forms because I know how hard your current feeling is.

I’ve had AU since I was 6 years old, and i’m 38 now


i used to be in your place, not accepting that false accessories will make me look good or change my mood, but I’ve learnt to build it in my daily routine on what makes me happy.. and going for the extra steps special occasions only. Putting on make up actually makes me show more my feminine side when i’m feeling down.

We are at the time where being different is not odd, compared to 30 years ago. Please be your beautiful self in any way you see right, what makes you feel comfortable and happy. 


remember that the people that love you or who will come to love you in the future will not look at you the way you look at yourself right now, i’ve learnt that we tend to be hard on ourselves, but when it comes to reality that is not true.

be strong, hopeful, and give yourself time. Because for me I love both my Ms. Potato head look and my Ms. HotLadyWigOn.

When i read this i think back to when i first got AU 16 years ago. 

I get it.

And its ok to feel that way.

We look at ourselves every day and then it feels like, as you said it Ms potato head.

Im here if you need any ears, advice or a chat, still bald... :D

x

Hi Denise

I was surprised to read an email from this forum as I feel, as far as my life is concerned, that I have found my answers.  I am hesitant to give anyone my advice, but this is my story, abbreviated:

My first bald spot occurred in 1978 during a stressful time prior to my wedding. I raced off to the skin specialist who gave me a prescription for cream to apply, which worked within a short time when my hair re-grew.  A while later, another larger bald spot appeared, I went back to the specialist but this time the cream did not work, I was worried.  I went back & this time I was prescribed a stronger cream, applied this & to no avail, it also didn't work.  Months passed, I went back & this time I was given a cortisone injection, at this time in my life I had not connected the dots.  Stay with me here, I will explain.

At that time in my life I was in a stressful state, I would feel & still do, gut-wrenching anxiety when stressed, other times, a sudden shock to my body (for instance if someone came up from behind me to surprise me) my body would freeze, within weeks another bald spot would appear.  

Quite a few years later, after I had forgotten about the numerous bald spots that had re-grown of their own accord, (always on the crown or back of my head)   Years later, I was under huge stress with a business that failed.  One day I ran my fingers through my head & felt an absolutely huge patch of baldness covering half my head, I freaked out.  I ran off to my skin specialist, he injected about 10 times into my head, within a few weeks the hair started growing back.

I connected the dots.......I clearly understood what was going on with my body.  Every single time I had an emotional "shock" or extreme anger outburst, you know the one where you just lose control, feel the anger in the pit of your stomach, I knew that another spot would result, and it would.

I am 68 years old now & after all these years, occasionally I see a new tuft of hair that is much shorter than the rest, indicating a bald spot & my body telling me to quieten down.  As I am retired, its easier to control situations with people to limit any stressful occurrences.  I use mindfulness techniques for instance, quieten my thoughts, I find it hard to meditate but I do try.  

I believe that Alopecia is caused by stress, in my case it definitely is.  I am relating my story with the hope that it helps you with your body, the mind controls the body & when a state of peace & calmness is reached, great healing can be achieved.

Kind regards,

Deb

Hi Denise

I am so pleased that you have been able to share your feelings and experience with people who know what you are going through.

My AU happened when I was 45 (6 years ago) and how I feel about it is still a work in progress.  However, I chose to embrace the baldness and I have the 'fake it till you make it' approach.

The only thing I have really applied to try to appear to look 'normal' has been different versions of eyebrows.  Until one day, I decided to go au naturel with no eyebrows.  The biggest difference - the uninvited comments about my eyebrows stopped.  At least once a day, I would have someone referencing how nice my eyebrows were. Whilst this is seemingly a compliment, it simply highlighted the fact that I had false eyebrows, which reminded me I had AU and that I stood out.

I am in awe of the AU women who are able to pull of a glamorous AU look with beautiful wigs, fabulous lashes and precision eyebrows.  Sadly, I am not one of them.  So, going browless, lashless, hairless, is far easier, quicker and liberating way to be - for me.

Whoopie Goldberg has said a few times about her not having eyebrows.  I have never noticed, but then I haven't looked.  I think that is the same for the majority of people who see me.  They notice I don't have hair but then don't then go on to scan the rest of my face for the rest.

AU is a journey and if you need to talk to a fellow alopecian without brows or lashes, feel free to reach out.

Your experience is not something to make light of or that everyone in your situation adapts to with ease. There, I have no advice that would not mirror the pep talk many would provide. I can offer my perspective about what comprises femininity and being vital and interesting - from a male perspective. It is the sum of many factors. No one person has all of them. Hair is a factor. It is neither the only or the most important one. 

I feel you! I’ve been AU for 5 years, and I still feel like Ms. Potato Head, and unfeminine. It is hard for me still. As soon as I put my makeup on hair on though, I feel beautiful again. So don’t feel bad about using accessories/makeup to add to your appearance. Even people without hair loss wear wigs, false eyelashes, and microblade their brows (and more!) so no need to feel guilty or bad. Women have been enhancing their appearance throughout time. We just have to go that extra mile now. I say, whatever makes you feel good, do that. Whatever gets you through the day, right?

"We just have to go that extra mile now"

This is now embedded in my mind - thank you for providing this.  Working on not feeling bad.

I feel this vent deep in my soul!! I too was not 1 for Fake anything. I'm still learning how to wear wigs or put on lashes which is still hard for me to do. I've had My Alopecia for 9 years now and a couple years ago my eye lashes fell out 1 side at a time and it my eye brows would do the same (1 side at a time) so that made me even more self conscious to the point of not even going outside at all. This year, my 9th year was another hard moment for me to "LOVE MYSELF" well learn to love me . I had to shave all my hair off yet again but when I did it myself that gave me the will power and confidence to walk outside, go to the grocery store like a normal human. I could never do that before.  This whole new life on being this "woman" who knows nothing about makeup , hair, and everything else that's comes with glam, is still trying to teach myself to how to do it. I'm a slow learner in this area but that's okay!! I take my teachings one-day at a time so I don't overwhelm myself. I too feel like Ms Potato head and that's on the DAILY!! What has helped me the most this time around was I had to just be "ME"! That's what gave me back my everything I let go of when I first got Alopecia. (If that makes any sense)  You are never alone my friend!! For you to vent about this, it will lose its power soon enough and one-day you will be surprised that you won't feel like MsPotato Head anymore. Im here if you ever need to talk, vent, scream or just to sit in silence!!! I'm here!! ❤️

I literally just did sigh of relief - definitely need the power back.  Really going to make 2024 more effective and try much harder.

Getting it off my chest on this thread did help so much

Hi Denise,

im not big on makeup or wigs either. Tried wigs for a few years but now wear headcovers exclusively.

I don’t feel like I need to look like everyone else by putting on false eyelashes, false eyebrows and a wig. I’d rather go with my head over and people can accept me for who I am.

give yourself time and space to learn to live with AU. It is a tough one but you are tough and beautiful. Best of luck to you on this journey.

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