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Venting! When is this ever going to let up?
Some of you I may know through the Alopecian circuits through the years & it's really nice to have a website dedicated to us. ..Let me share some history. I've had AA/Au since I was 17 years old I've lost friends & family & I feel also opportunities. I openly went bald 1 1/2 ago at work because I was sick & tired of being sick & tired. It was a good experience to finding my own freedom however it hasn't changed the fact that I'm still alone. The last guy I dated treated me as it I was a trophy & after I told him he bailed, then tonight which was really the last straw for me I was at Walmart & the lady behind the register was so floored by my appearance she literally froze & couldn't look me in my eyes & handed me my change like she was handing my dirty underwear. I told her that" I am still human & I also speak earth languages so please treat me as such". I've tested situations other times where I would just pretend like I have hair & be myself & just see how people will react if I'm ok with it & it's all pretty much the same result. My question for you guys & maybe it's all in my head but when is this ever going to let up because I am missing out on my life. I consider myself a cute girl but I'm at the point where I don't even want to go out my door if I don't have to to avoid getting more depressedd- It's like if I knew the outcome I would have got married &had kids at a early age. I'm still young & I feel so old from dealing with this. I wish God would take me out of my misery because I would be more than glad to go.... Any cures to getting on with life that have worked for you besides the cure we don't have?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Patricia Hutchings on
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Hi Leresa
One thing that helps me, was written by Dale Carnegie, and is called living in day tight compartments. It basically means at the beginning of every day you start life anew, anything that happened yesterday has past, and everything tomorrow is to come, so concentrate on today.
I also had a problem for a long while with the staring, but now I just smile back and instead of thinking they are looking at me for my lack of hair, or illness, its because Im attractive. Go out with a positive mind, and see things in a positive way. If you get a bad experience just brush it off, it says more about them then yourself.
I would also actively do things to love yourself (long baths, watching favourite movies, eatting your favourite foods etc). If you can actively love yourself the way you are, you wont attract the twits who treat you bad, but will attract those who will love you too.
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Permalink Reply by Devin on
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Im sorry about your pain Leresa. Here is a quote I found today that Im going to try to learn from: "Spending time being happy with what you have is much better than spending time being unhappy with what you don't have." I think its going to take me some time to learn how to live by this, but Im working on it. I hope things look up for you!!!
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Permalink Reply by Tracey Tiznor on
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Weeping may endure for a night,but i know JOY is coming in the morning.........There will be better days. Psalm 30:5
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Permalink Reply by Joy on
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Hey Leresa
im also sorry you are feeling bad. we all can relate. i like what Devin said and thats a good way to live life. also to remember we have to be in this world so we can choose to make that time better and find little things that make us happy or we can choose to focus on the tough stuff. its easier said than done and i have my bad days but lately i have decided that if i let it.. alopecia can take everything from me and i dont want that..so i just go from day to day and do little things i like...a favorite show, a chat with a friend, a good book etc. im a Christian and so i believe theres an enemy in this world who would like to steal our joy, our happiness and anything good and i wont let him win!! i hope you feel better and we all are here for you. sometimes it helps to just vent so im glad you did that!! do something fun for yourself soon and know that you arent alone...we all are with you through the good and the bad...always!! blessings to you!! Love Joy
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Sorry to hear you're feeling so down, Leresa. I guess we have to remember that there are wonderful men like rj who love us bald women just as we are. I also keep reminding myself how many worse diseases there are that I could have. I try to focus on my good health, and staying in shape and being active. Since I go everywhere bald, I've gotten to the point that I really don't care so much what people think. My attitude is summed up by a shirt I had made that says "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!"
As for keeping a positive attitude and getting on with life, you might find these two blogs I posted helpful:
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/roger-ebert-is-an-inspi...
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/inspirational-words-from
Good luck, and stay in touch with your community here. We all know how you're feeling.
Mary
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Permalink Reply by Chris Jeffer on
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I understand exactly how you feel.
Alopecia may not be life threatening but it sure changes everything about your life. I have had it for six years now and have disguised it and worn wigs. Now I only wear bandanas because I have some regrowth and I really dislike wigs.
I am at the point where I don't care who knows or how they react to it. People's reactions say more about where they are at in their life than about whatever condition we have. I can't say I blame a lot of people either because I didn't know anything about alopecia before I had it, so I think the public are in the dark when it comes to this condition - they are more confused when they see us than anything.
One thing I do believe though, Leresa, is that whether it is alopecia, cancer or learning to live in a wheelchair - whatever curve ball life throws people, it is here to teach us. The lessons are likely going to be different for each one of us, but rather than thinking of it as a curse, ask it what opportunities it can bring to you.
The research that I have been doing indicates that autoimmune conditions such as alopecia (and many other diseases) are caused by repressing our emotions and hanging on to bad experiences and not being able to forgive people. Dealing with alopecia has forced me to deal with my own issues with anger and shows me how I have bottled up my feelings for so many years. The amazing thing is that once I started to recognize this and make some changes in my life (changed careers and separated from my husband), my hair started to grow back. I realize that I internalize so much stress and need to find healthy ways to deal with it. So I have gone from being a person with alopecia totalis and heading toward universalis to a person with almost a full head of hair, believe it or not. You are welcome to visit my new blog www.natural-treatment-for-alopecia.com to learn more.
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