What things do you hear when out in the world?

I love this web site. I just shaved my head about 4 weeks ago, so without this site, I could still be home afraid to embrace my beautiful bald self!

I read so many of your blog post, your comments, your experiences...

I learned to be ready to expect a lot of "Do you have cancer?" questions. Plus, many other inquiries.

Here, I'd like to start a running list of "Things We Alopecians Hear When Out in the World."

If we keep a centrally-located thread discussion here, new members can read and prepare for what may or may not cross their paths.

What have you heard from strangers:

1. While wearing a wig?
2. When not wearing anything on your bald head.
3. While wearing scarves?
4. Other?

Please add comments as they happen, too. Any prepared answers you have for a particular question could also be helpful.

I really think knowledge is power. Being prepared gives us strength to practice responses, or practice non-responses, right! Whatever our mood is at the moment, I guess! ; - )

Thanks for your insights!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary on March 31, 2009 at 6:14pm
If you haven't already, check out the wonderful posts on the Sisterhood of Women Who Shave group...lots of gals there who prefer the bald look!

I looked at your photos...you're beautiful! I bet you'd be beautiful bald, too, if you ever want to try it.

Take care,
Mary
Permalink Reply by Mary on July 29, 2009 at 11:47pm
I was in a busy restaurant, outdoors on a patio in San Diego tonight. It was pleasantly warm, so I was bald. A mother and her adult daughter (and the daughter's young girls) came up to me and told me how beautiful I look, and they assumed I have cancer. I did as I always do, and gently thanked them for their concern and told them I don't have cancer. The oldest daughter exclaimed "It's alopecia!" - turns out she has a friend in school who has it.

Once again, it was a positive experience. Yes, I wish people didn't assume I'm sick. But, these two women with familial breast cancer were so happy to see a woman bald in public, and it made me feel very good to talk with them. Women who've lost their hair due to chemo SHARE an experience with us. We all went through the loss of self, etc. It's becoming less of a disturbing thing to me to be mistaken for a cancer patient, and more of a positive experience in just being a proudly bald woman, and sharing that with other women who've lost their hair (even though they have theirs back now.)

Mary
Permalink Reply by Mary on August 10, 2009 at 5:42pm
I heard a new one today. A guy at my health club asked me (as I'm lifting weights):

"Are you sick or do you do that on purpose?"

What do you say to that?! I don't consider myself sick, but I wouldn't choose to be bald! I briefly told him about my AA, and then he started to tell me how nice I look and how he wouldn't mind.....At that point, I mentioned that my HUSBAND is just fine with it (I had taken off my wedding ring to lift weights). LOL

Mary
Permalink Reply by Mary on August 20, 2009 at 3:06am
Oh, Jen, that's rough! It may just be that when someone is working fast and barely glancing at people, he saw the bald head only - not anything else. It doesn't mean you don't look feminine - just that the guy's observation was limited. I sure understand how you felt, but please try not to take it personally. Mary
Permalink Reply by Sarah on August 22, 2009 at 11:58pm
I worked at a Bob Evans awhile ago. My manager required me to wear a wig that didn't touch my shoulders. One day I was waiting on this table of four. There was an older lady sitting closest to me. I asked her what she would like to drink and she just starred at me for a moment. Then she asks, "Honey, are you going through treatments? I see your wearing a wig." I politely said, "No its complicated." She never asked anything after that. The situation shock me up so much I had to give the table to someone else. I never thought my wigs were noticeable.

Before that I worked at Panera Bread. I used to wear bandanas at that this job. At Panera you are required to wear a hat (plus they didn't want me to wear wigs). While working there I was called sir, asked if I had cancer and once asked if I had alopecia. That was the best question that I'd ever been asked.

A lot of good has come out of my experiences. I have met and educated tons of strangers and friends.

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