What things do you hear when out in the world?

I love this web site. I just shaved my head about 4 weeks ago, so without this site, I could still be home afraid to embrace my beautiful bald self!

I read so many of your blog post, your comments, your experiences...

I learned to be ready to expect a lot of "Do you have cancer?" questions. Plus, many other inquiries.

Here, I'd like to start a running list of "Things We Alopecians Hear When Out in the World."

If we keep a centrally-located thread discussion here, new members can read and prepare for what may or may not cross their paths.

What have you heard from strangers:

1. While wearing a wig?
2. When not wearing anything on your bald head.
3. While wearing scarves?
4. Other?

Please add comments as they happen, too. Any prepared answers you have for a particular question could also be helpful.

I really think knowledge is power. Being prepared gives us strength to practice responses, or practice non-responses, right! Whatever our mood is at the moment, I guess! ; - )

Thanks for your insights!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary on March 9, 2009 at 1:20am
YES, YES, and YES, Jen! I feel funny when people tell me I'm "brave". I'm just me...it has been so much easier for me to face it, head on, accept that this is the "new" me, and get on with life. I read the posts from women here who have difficulty going outside the house "uncovered", and I sympathize with and ache for them. But it was just never an option for me to try to hide the fact that I have no hair.

I have had dark moments when I wonder whether I'm CRAZY to not mind being seen looking the way I do bald! Then I see all the photos on this site of other women who do it, or watch videos here or on YouTube of other bald women out in public, and I read comments from women who go out in public bald, and I don't feel so crazy. Does that make sense?! Knowing that I'm not alone in my refusal to cover my bald head (unless I CHOOSE to for warmth) has given me so much strenth.

In reference to this original topic: tonight I went to a symphony performance, wearing my black Turkish scarve that's shown in the photo on my page. A woman seated near me came up to me as we all filed out after the concert, and she said "I noticed you earlier and I just want to tell you how beautiful I think you look." I'm sure she thought I have cancer and was being brave to go out in a scarf. But, I just thanked her and lightheartedly explained that I have alopecia and am comfortable being bald in public when it's warm enough. I joked with her bald husband about how chilly bare heads can get.
Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 8, 2009 at 11:53pm
I lost all of my hair just as I was entering middle school (lucky me right lol just when kids hit the really mean for no reason phase). Anyways, I was totally in denial about my hairloss and even though my mum was really supportive and said I could wear a hat, scarf, wig, or nothing at all, I just ignored her and wore my hat to "hide" the hair loss (of course it was pretty obvious since my "ponytail" was only as thick as a pencil). I got teased unmercifully by a couple of kids all three years getting called baldwin (because I have a twin with a full head of hair and I am the "bald twin"), baldy, bald-eagle, and other names. The guys would also flick the bill of my hat as a joke. I ignored them and it just hurt really bad, but I learned to deal mostly because it was pretty obvious that they were ignorant idiots incapable of any empathy or understanding (at the time). Thankfully by highschool the guys were actually really nice to me so there's something, and even though they never asked for my forgiveness I knew they felt bad and so I just let it go. I wear a wig all of the time because I am just not comfortable with people asking a whole bunch of questions ( very shy), but when I had friends that knew I wore a wig (until I moved) they would say things that they thought were helpful like "It must be so nice in the summer, lucky!!", and other similar statements about how "easy" and "great" it was, so be on the lookout for that. Surprisingly never got asked if I had cancer, or even about what was wrong. For the most part I either just deflect if they aren't really asking anything, but if they ask an outright question that isn't meant to be rude then I just answer and move on and try to end the conversation on the topic. Maybe I will be able to go bald one day but I am only 18 so I have lots of time to get there.
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on March 9, 2009 at 2:00am
When seated in front of some other youth football parents after a season of not seeing them: "Oh! You're still alive? We heard you had cancer."
Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on March 9, 2009 at 2:20am
Omigod. The definition of chutzpah.
Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on March 9, 2009 at 2:18am
If my head was shaped like yours, I'd go bald, too! Who knew?

Or, your headwrap is so pretty, how do you do that?

The situation that annoys me is the person who doesn't say something while standing behind me, but waits until I've left the store and am on my way almost to my car. Then they call out to get my attention ...only to find out they want to recommend a cancer group or similar.
Permalink Reply by Orbit on March 9, 2009 at 7:22am
I haven't read all the responses her, but this site will give you the info and strength that you need. Just keep smiling and stay positive!
Permalink Reply by Blessed Soul on March 9, 2009 at 11:26am
Wel I come from India where "Beauty of the women is with her LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR"!! So, u can wel imagine how many taunts & comments hav been passed on me for lookin "not normal" like a woman.
I wear a wig in public. Wen i didnt hav the fake eyebrows, i used to draw them with eyebrow pencil, so people used to notice. They gave strange stares, cracked jokes, passed comments, etc. They just stare rite on ur face & laugh!! How rude is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After wearing fake eyebrows, less people notice & stare is different....mayb seeing my perfect eyebrows!!! ;)
I hav never gone out with a bald head & never wil!!! I cannot bear more rude comments. I only stay bald at home.
I wear scarf at home again. I dont dare to wear it outside for the same reason.
People either think i hav cancer or think i did it for "weird fashion". Some just dont think at all & just laugh coz they like makin fun.
Permalink Reply by Mary on March 9, 2009 at 11:28am
Good to hear from you, Priya. I have Indian (and Indian-American) relatives by marriage, and I can certainly appreciate the cultural problems you face. It's really unfortunate.
Permalink Reply by Blessed Soul on March 26, 2009 at 10:16am
yah it makes me hav little inferiority complex wen i c their long natural hair, styled in many ways.
Permalink Reply by Tamika Joseph on March 9, 2009 at 9:14pm
Is that your hair.
how short is your hair.
can i touch you hair.
Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 9, 2009 at 10:36pm
I think the most awkward experience was when I was naked-headed at work. An older gentleman (who I've only spoken to a few times in passing) walked straight towards me in the hallway and grabbed my head with both hands. He started shaking my head in his hands saying 'this looks so good...you look so beautiful...so good' UMMMMM...please let go of my head, thanks!
Permalink Reply by Mary on March 9, 2009 at 11:11pm
Yuuccchhhh!

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