Why would she do that?

The last 8 months, I have lost more and more hair.

I had gotten it cut very short and a neighbor had commented that it looked pretty good short.

I haven't seen her in quite awhile and I was outside getting the mail. I'm 5'1' and she's about 5'8". She walks over to me and says, "let me see your hair" and I said 'no' and she just kept insisting.

I usually don't leave the house without my extensions, but I was just running out for a second.

I believe that she WANTED to make me feel bad. Why would someone be so oblivious to my feelings? It's just such a cruel thing to do and in the sunlight, all you really see is scalp.

Honestly, I just don't understand people sometimes.

I held back from calling attention to her over-bleacheded blonde hair that looked like straw.

Views: 446

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Vicky1234 on April 18, 2014 at 5:17pm

Without being too blunt did she know you have problems with baldness?   Perhaps she just saw and was trying to see if she was seeing what she thought she saw.  Maybe she did it in the moment and not think?  I know sometimes I say or do the most stupid things but do not mean them bad so try to look for other explanations in peoples actions.  

I have been trying to tell everyone so no one says to me ooo whats happened to your hair as I am so touchy but been told off for bringing it up so much :-/  cant win can we but I honestly do not want someone to mention the fact I am going to have to cut off 12 years growth of hair soon as mine is breaking as well as the thinning and 2 bald areas so its all different lengthes and looks scragy and awful.   

Why oh why hair?  I moaned for years I had spots do you know I would take them back 10 fold.

Hope you got things sorted with her, if not avoid hun.  

sending best wishes 

Permalink Reply by Tovah on April 18, 2014 at 6:14pm

Thank you for your reply, Vicky.

 

She absolutely knew that my hair had been falling out when I cut off my middle-of-the-back hair to about 1 inch.

At a neighborhood event, I told her.

 

I do believe that she wanted to embarass me. I also believe she's the type that talks before thinking.

Oh well, I'm just doing my routine and while it's no way where it was, I am getting some new growth.

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know about having long hair and having to lose it and nobody can tell me I'm just being vain.

 

We just hit the hair lottery and there's nothing to do but just keep on. I'm getting much more comfortable just automaticaly putting on my extensions or a hat. I'm sick of trying to tell people: 'yes, I know I'm going bald; No, I really don't have cancer."

Wishing you al my best

Tovah

Permalink Reply by Vicky1234 on April 18, 2014 at 6:36pm

Hey 

I really do not understand people, maybe she didn't believe you or was mega curious but either of them are just plain rude :-(  Sorry it happened.  I am more having people telling me it looks not to bad till I want to scream its thinning, breaking and patchy but my eyes bleeding work stop lying it does not make me feel better lol but I know they mean well at least.    How awful for you :-(   

I know I keep saying I know it seems really vain and insane when I have so much else wrong to loose it so much over the hair but the rest are hidden illnesses which oddly works against me mostly as people assume I am healthy but now getting looks if is down.  In a pony I am almost getting away with it but its very thin and front is receding very fast which is worrying me a lot.    Really finding the lack of support and interest off people as well as the medical profession the worst.  My own family just say its hair, my dad says well I lost mine at 15 and most mates said oh or one said oh my mums mate has that.  But would just like someone to say would you like to talk about it or something lol.  

Hope you have not had to deal with her since.  And nice to meet you :-)  I know it's not a nice way to meet people but its comforting knowing there are others out there who understand isnt it :-) 

my best wishes back hun 

Permalink Reply by Tovah on April 18, 2014 at 6:54pm

Hi Vicky:

After all this time, I'm still upset when someone brings it up. I remember that I went into a salon about 1/1 hour before closing and said I just wanted a trim.  After I paid, I heard her complaining that my hair was so thin and it took so much more time to do. I mean, do you think she could have said that a little bit later when I wouldn't hear her? Wow. So stupid.

 

I think that, for the most part, people are trying to make you feel better. I mean, what else can they do?

I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much more also. I wonder if it's the auto-immune nature of alopecia that it causes other things. I don't know......I also have other strange problems.

 

I couldn't believe how my neighbor had all this hair and it was so over-dyed and processed and it really looked like straw.  If I had half her hair, I'd be ecstatic. lol.

 

It's so sad to see all the products and tools I've picked up in trying to make my hair look more full. Kinda pathetic.

 

So nice to meet you. Please write me anytime.

 

Permalink Reply by Vicky1234 on April 18, 2014 at 7:19pm

My gp's just seemed to think if I take iron tablets it will clear up, they are so lacking in knowledge its insane.  But I am a long way off having any useful treatment but finding it impossible to source as of yet.  I think I have to wait till it looks far worse for my local gps to take it more seriously because it is not life threatening.  

I am going to go to my mums hair dresser when I do go, my mum has bad hair loss due to different illness to me and has for years but she has a regular hair dresser who is used to dealing with hers so hoping she will be helpful to me not say anything hurtful or silly as I am so sensitive :-( 

It's awful isnt it how so many can treat theirs bad and get away with it? while I have always straightened my hair I have always well cared for it, it was never over processed and was always given plenty of moisturisers and masks and tried to keep products natural as poss.  

Yes I have started the product collection although most of mine is passed on from mum and its lotions and potions although bought a head massager as my head is itchy as well since I used a trial of a shampoo not used that brand in years and thought I would give it a go.  I had noticed a bit of thinning then and a tiny patch but had not really lost much so felt ok trying a new shampoo I would be horrified now in case it made things worse.  

I am just waiting for next move really and taking my iron and folate tab.  

Permalink Reply by Tovah on April 18, 2014 at 7:32pm

Vicky:

I think if you read some of the posts on this Board, you will see that GPs and, even dermatologists, don't understand alopecia. They will take your money and probably do nothing to help.

You need a SPECIALIST and as soon as possible. I'm not sure who other people have seen, but I finally saw an endocrinologist. She did an allergy test and seemed to be really wise as to alopecia.

You'll probably need to get a referral to one.

Do some research and see what other kind of doctors people have seen.  Have you been tested for your thyroid or other disorders that can be causing the hair loss?

The earlier that they can get to work on you, the better.

Get yourself extremely well informed so you know the best way to go about this.

 

You do have a chance of turning this around. If not, you'll know you've done everything you could.

Permalink Reply by Vicky1234 on April 18, 2014 at 7:57pm

Hey

We do not pay for the GP's and derms here in the UK so they are just being hopeless not so much taking money.  

I have booked to go to the belgravia clinic in London next month, I saw a private Trichologist last week but do not really understand his diagnosis, he said its TE with some sort of genetic alopecia which has been triggered or made worse or something by the TE.  I am waiting on his letter, I a different GP to normal yesterday and she said there was a letter in the mail to me and it's bank holidays here so no mail for a few days. 

Everyone has actually been saying I am doing wrong going to the belgravia clinic and that they will scam me of thousands but its advertised as the UK's leading hairloss clinic and I would kinda like someone more experienced to look at my hair and see if they can help.  Atm feel like I am in an unsure limbo - so much could be causing it and no one seems concerned.  GP said take iron and muddle along and the Trichologist said take iron and minoxidil and off you go.  Nothing else.  

I had a detailed blood work done only things wrong are low ferritin, slight folate and very minor B12.  Hormones and thyroid ones all ok.  That was only 2 weeks ago.  Ferritin has been under 10 for 2 years though and been through heaps of stress, health issues, job loss, home loss, death of mate from cancer and death of Gran all in 2 years so my body has been through a right battle but its not finished.  Hopefully the clinic can help :-( 

I do have gastric reflux though and IBS which are known to cause digestive issues and I take meds for the reflux that limit absorbsion so I am stuck in a pattern.  GP has asked hospital about a possible iron infusion to give my body a jump start see if that helps but no so far due to costs.  And can not find anywhere that will do them private :-/  Got to plod through 4 weeks till the clinic and pray I guess.  

How long has yours been going on?  I have to be honest been so ill I barely noticed mine till I had a bald area and then was like huh!  I had complained for a good few months about loss but had loads so ever even worried about it.  Wish I had now but was in a CFS flare up and was so tired out.  

Permalink Reply by Tovah on April 18, 2014 at 8:24pm

Oh Vicky, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you'd seen so many doctors already.

I got alopecia at about 14 years old, so it's more than 30 years. I remember seeing that my hair part, which was always parted in the middle, started getting wider and wider.

 

Soon after, I had people bring it up to me that I was going bald.

 

I saved up my money to go to the Mayo clinic and they had nothing to say to me. I really did try everything possible. It wasn't as common as it is now.

 

Like you, I'd be able to put it up so that it still looked good in a bun, but after taking a medicine for another neuro problem, it started really falling out.  Finally, after clogging up the shower, etc., I just cut it myself finally one night as I'd had it.

I was told that it could take up to 9 months for my hair to come back after it's fallen out from a medication, but it's been more than 9 months and it's not back yet.

 

I'm so sorry that so much has happened to you. Stress is definitely not our friend,.

I started my Alopecia Journey on my blog, so if you get bored, you can read it at http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/7/post/category/my-alopecia/.

 

I'm just trying to keep trying different things, keep my stress level to a minimum, which is hard to do.

I've found it just so much easier to acknowledge that this is part of my life and people can take it or lump it.\

However, anyone who says that stupid thing of 'it's just hair' usually have plenty of hair.

Permalink Reply by Vicky1234 on April 19, 2014 at 11:12am

Bless you, so many years :-(  I am shocked at the Mayo clinic I always hear good things about them from friends in another support group for one of my neurological illnesses.  

There does not appear to be too much support here either everyones answer appears to be minoxidil but I am tipping the boat, I do not want to start on it if its something like my issues with the digestion causing it because if I can sort the digestion it may sort the hair loss.  I find it so insane that there is so little support and agreed information, some say ferritin as low as mine 100% can cause it some say nope.  Mines breaking and changed to so dry and brittle and is breaking at the ends as well as shedding its as if all the health has gone.  It's also gone lighter and lost its gloss.  

I will have a read of your blog :-)   I am just trying to decide what to do, I am supposed to be going away tomo for 4 nights with some mates.  First canc on Wed and the other this morning.  I have 4 nights in a hotel, 1 night at the theatre and no one to go with.  Also with my hair issues and anemia etc feeling I can not be bothered to go but it's a fortune lost if I do not but not going to enjoy all that time alone I do not think.  Pants week!  

Permalink Reply by Tovah on April 19, 2014 at 5:29pm

Vicky,

I don't see a Reply button on what you just wrote. I hope you get this.

I know about how everyone is getting the same answers from the docs.

 

You definitely need to know what's going on with your body.

What is canc?

 

It is fine not to feel like going out, etc., but don't let this steal away your life.

Put on a hat or a scarf and just go about having a good time.

Tell yourself that for these 4 days, you will not think about your hair.

RSS

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2024   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service