I am not sure if this is a rant, or what, but lately I have come into some comments that really really bother me. I have been wearing wigs for years, and when I got started, I was scared to death. Finally, I got used to it, ignored the comments from people about my hair falling out...bald spots, you name it. People mean well, but being told I am shedding isn't something I didn't know about. No, really, I already knew, but thank you so much. When I finally got used to wearing wigs, one day they just became fun, even a fashion statement. Now they are a (albeit necessary) part of my wardrobe. I can change colors and styles to match my outfit. I got past all the hateful comments and, dare I say, bullying, about losing my hair. Yes, people can be mean when they don't understand.
The cool part is that a long time ago quit being private about losing my hair, and it's been awesome the women (and men) I have met who want to talk to me on occasion about what they are going through. It gives you such an incredible way to share, and meet new people, and share inspiration back and forth.
Now we are evolving again, with people going bald on purpose, this is incredible, awesome too! Unfortunately, I am starting to get comments again from people I know who suffer hair loss (and some who don't). I have to take issue with some of these comments I get because I choose not to go bald. I have received some pressure from people, (almost?) hurtful, even close to bullying, all over again, because I want to wear wigs. Personally, it feels almost as bad as it did when my hair started falling out. Maybe it's just a self conscious trigger that is constantly trying to heal. I just wish people would leave me alone and stop trying to tell me that I am weak or closed minded because I don't want to change, I do change! Every day, sometimes more than once a day, lol.
I think women who want to go bald are awesome, and strong! But those (men too, sorry) who chose not to are walking a path that requires just as much strength and self worth. It does NOT matter to me where you are on this continuum, you gotta do what's right for you. Just remember that we are not all the same, please?
Thanks for listening. You are all just flat out amazing.
I agree. There are a lot of people all around you who would be a true friend and supportive. I just want everyone with alopecia (whatever kind), male or female to be happy. If wearing wigs makes you happy wear them; if going bald makes you happy then do that; and if doing both makes you happy then do that.
I know it sounds like a silly simple to say, but you can choose to be happy. I find God helps me to have the courage to do what makes me happy. I'm not trying to preach just offering an example of what has successfully worked for me.
Wonderful post, Cat,
I feel the same way you do (big surprise if you read my posts), but it's nice to hear a woman expressing a point of view that I thought was unique to a straight male who went bald or a wore one of a variety of wigs when he was in college.
God bless you,
Thanks for you post!
As a therapist and Alopecian, I too hear this same concern.
Many of my clients discuss the dance between wearing a wig or not and the judgement they encounter. In fact, there are some who are saddened by the "judgey" comments or looks from others who have some form of Alopecia Areata.
I find it interesting that many of us have experienced bullying and I'm confused by those who may be unknowingly repeating the cycle. I agree that there is a spectrum each person must take on their hair loss journey. I just hope each person's journey is respected. To wear a wig or not is a personal decision and shouldn't be interrupted by another's idea about social acceptance. Keeping in mind to choose to wear a wig or not is your choice! It's your journey!
"An Alopecian therapists for the Alopecia community."