Alopecia World
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You are my support system. Does anyone find the experience traumatic? And one more question...
First of all, I want to say that this website is my biggest support system when I have no one to lean on for guidance in my real life. I feel that you are the only ones who can truly, I mean truly, understand the pain I'm enduring at this moment. So I want to ask you one question: did anyone find alopecia traumatic and difficult to cope with? When I told someone that I found the experience of losing my hair traumatic, she thought I was exaggerating. I didn't know how to respond to that. How did you come to accept alopecia as permanent in your life? Everyone is different so I would like to hear your perspectives on this.
Second, some of you are aware of the situation I am in. My female pattern baldness is progressing and it seems like Rogaine is not working well for me now. I just started university and I hate going to class with my hairline beginning to recede. The scalp at the front hairs is noticeable and I tried everything to hide it but to no avail. Therefore I've decided to wear a baseball cap most of the time (and a beanie in the winter or whatsoever) while I figure out how I can deal with this situation but I want to ask you guys, if it is rude to wear a baseball cap in class? I have had classmates wear a baseball cap or a hat in class and my professors did not seem to have any issue with it.
Thanks so much - I would not have made it without all your support!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bev on
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I know you're prolly get tired of me but I want to say that I used Rogaine for many years to no avail. It never help me. Hair just kept on falling out. Thinner every day until it became impossible to hide. That's the best doctors could do for me. I was a wreck for awhile. Everytime I looked in the mirror I hated myself. It didn't matter how much I spent on clothes or how nice my earings where, I did not look good. When I tried a few wigs and learned which one's worked for me was when things started to turn around. I know some people complain that they are uncomfortable and at first for me they were but I didn't care because I was so thrilled to look like me again. I did not look myself without my hair. I was always neat and well kept and used a little makeup and took pride in my appearance. Yes, I guess you could call me vain. It was heartbreaking until I did something about it and bought myself a wig. I resisted far too long because the thing that I dreaded having to do was only thing that made me feel good again. You may not like the first or second one u try on because like me, you'll want to find one that was like the hair you had but she is out there and you will find her and when you look in the mirror and your old self looks back at you, you will feel happy again. Still it's sad that your own hair did this but you can look wonderful regardless and if it was taking you all day to try to make your own hair look decent, as mine was at the end, you will appreciate the ease of a beautiful wig ready to finger fluff and go. I now prefer the wigs. Wash my hair, the little that's left, each night in the shower and throw on a wig from my collection in the morning. Add my makeup, jewelry, outfit and purse and out the door I go. I feel and look like a million bucks honey, and you can too!
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Permalink Reply by Lilac on
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Wow! I would never expect this number of replies but I appreciated your insights. I don't know how to begin, but I was 15/16 when I started losing hair. Before the onset of alopecia, I had the most gorgeous curly hair. It was so gorgeous that people on the street would stop me and compliment my hair. I really miss my old hair. Anyways, yes I am young - I am now 18, so it's been three years of emotional torture. It was so traumatic that throughout the whole "journey", I wouLd have flashbacks and nightmares about losing my hair. Because I got cursed with this condition at such a young age, there is no doubt that I will be completely bald when I am in my 30's. This is why I am having a hard time with coping the condition. Over the past two weeks, I was shocked at what happened. How much hair I would usually lose over two months all happened in just two days!! When I went for classes, I quickly went to the washroom to adjust my hair and I could not believe it. My hair has thinned so much and my hairline is beginning to recede, which did not happen before. I know that is not common among women, but it seems that the hairs near my hairline are beginning to vanish. I started using Rogaine this Feburary (2013) and it's September so perhaps it's too early to see any signs, but I doubt it's working for me now... It's just devastating to watch. So what I have decided to is to wear hats. Recently, I was shopping around and tried on various hats to see how it looked on me. Although I am novice to this area of fashion, I did it alone and bought a hat. When I got home and tried it again with a better view, I felt like vomiting. My hair looks so hideous when I try the hat on. Now I am resorting to baseball caps and *hopefully* it will look good on me. If that fails again, then I will try Toppik, a hair loss concealer. Has anyone had success with this product? I am using this product only for the top of my head as that's where my hair loss prevails. However the body of my hair is so limp and pathetic...
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Check out the wig videos and hair loss videos on You Tube. You will see and hear from other women your age and this may help to comfort and inspire you. You are not alone.
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Permalink Reply by GottabeKate on
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Hey there,
I'd say wear the hat. Wear the beanies. If it gives you a sense of security, go for it.
I'm newly diagnosed with AA and I have two huge bald patches close to the top of my head, on either side of my natural part.
So far, because I'm terrible and styling my hair, I have my mom braid it or help hide it by putting it up for me. Pretty soon, that isn't going to work for me. And like you, my plan is beanies and hats! One of my best friends is a hair stylist and wants me to get a topper, but I just don't know how I feel about that. I'd have to try it first, but right now my thought is that it will just look obvious.
As someone who is as unsure as you, I say go with your gut and what makes you most comfortable. And trust me, when I was in university, everyone wore caps and beanies.
Rock that relaxed look!
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My daughter even with an amazing support system from friends & family it is still beyond traumatic!
From a moms view and wanting to fix the AA the answer for the last year was the Buffs for every stage as you can wear them in so many ways. She has quite the collection. Friday night we sat down with the family and her best friend and we completed the AA process and shaved her head. She played TAPS on her phone as the last little hairs were removed. Today we are attempting to try a wig with the theory it is just another buff or hat. We all wear many hats and deal personally with lots of heart aches - but AA is so visual and as she says she feels like she is naked. We have learned through the process of accepting the AA is all you can do is accept it and do whatever you can do to make YOU feel good about YOU! It is a hard burden but you will find professors and fellow students will admire you for your strength and ability to SMILE through it! Your spirit, eyes and smiles are what define you.My daughter still has good cries and I say release those tears and let them flow! You wont be carrying those any longer. Grieving is normal but like all hard parts of life it is HOW YOU handle it. I wish I could be there with you to tell you the journey you are on is an extreme personal and soul searching journey. It is no where near hard. People will SEE the beauty in YOU and those that do not shouldn't be there in your life. You will begin to sort out people quicker. You will learn how people respect and genuinely care and accept. YOU will discover YOU and see the real beauty in you that defines YOU. Find YOU and EMBRACE you....what people are seeing is strength and look with admiration. Please start seeing yourself that way and it is ok for people to know you have AA. There are always mishaps with hats, people, animals, scarves, rain, Buffs, wigs and nature that we have no control over. Find the hats you like to wear and laugh when one flies off because people got a flash of an amazing person that is strong, adapts, survives and smiles. You are the factor on how people see you. Be healthy, eat healthy, excercise, go after your goals ( you have much less to pack if you go natural!) and please smile no matter how hard it is! BEST of luck and big hugs from this mom.
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Permalink Reply by kelsey battley on
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Hi. I'm new to this website but I'm 22 years old. & I have had every stage of alopecia there is since I was 9. I have been bald since age 9, I have no body hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, & no self esteem. I have worn wigs, hats, & now my lastest is hair glued on a cap. This experience is very traumatic. I have been teased, had my wigs & hats ripped off. My support system is my mom, although she doesn't understand how it feels to be looked at like an outcast or to be asked constantly "is that your real hair?" Or "do you have cancer?" She tried to make it more comfortable for me. I am in a serious relationship now and even though he knows about my alopecia I am still terrified that it'll scare him off. Does it ever get easier? Many times I thought why me? Why did this have to pick me?
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Kelsey - I'm not sure if it gets "easier" but you get stronger. Know that you have a strong heart and are not defined by your hair (or lack of ...) I have dealt with this all durind my youth as well. I have had my wig ripped off in my workplace even! People will always be curious and of course it's your hair - you paid for it! I now have Hashimoto's and my autoimmune issues are growing to the point that my health is now affected so the lack of hair is really just a distraction. I am married with two kids - my kids accept me just as I am. Sadly enough my Husband is another story. He won't come in the bedroom/bathroom when I am "wigless" and that hurts my feelings more than not having hair! He says he is being "respectful". There is no easy answer - I think we all find our own way, in our own time - and everyone has good and bad days. here is to having less bad days than good, always! Be strong, you are going to be a beautiful, strong and motivated woman - regardless of whether you wear a wig, a hat or nothing at all! It is so awesome that there are support systems and you are growing up in a time when so much more is acceptable and not something that needs to be hidden.
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I have found a wonderful spray that conceals thinning hair. We formulated it at my last job to conceal gray hairs and roots for a couple more weeks until you could get to the salon. Great thing is....it doesnt come off in rain or on your pillow. Takes a few minutes to dry but then you are one your way. I wear it everyday to conceal my spots. Its called Rita Hazan Root Concealer and I highly recommend it . You can order it at Sephora. It comes in many dark brown/black, medium brown, blonde and red. There are some highlight ones too. Try it!!! I live by it now. Message me if you have any questions.
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Hi Mariam,
However you have experienced losing your hair is totally cool and "right" and I just wanted to validate for you however it is you are feeling. Just use this experience to grow and explore and to get better at being you (the real you that is deep down inside and within you). Take a class in female empowerment and embrace yourself and your baldness!
For me ,when I finally "stopped fighting" my Alopecia with medications, injections and creams I was able to re focus and do some reality testing, i.e., I reminded myself this condition is not life threatening and came to realize it is, in fact- an opportunity to confront some of my issues ("letting-go" being a major theme) and overall I was able to understand this "condition" is in my life to teach me something. I feel blessed to have an opportunity to overcome adversity and emerge a more rounded, stronger and wiser person, & I get to have the opportunity(luxury really) to do this without having to confront a terminal illness.
STILL, I don't want to undermine your feelings because they are real and not to be minimized.
Finally, I really don't think about anything as a "permanent condition"...Hopefully, we are ever- changing and always evolving. Finally, like anything, alopecia/life it is all a journey and a process and it is what you choose to do with/how you choose to it that determines the outcome...
Keeping reaching out!
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Permalink Reply by Ariesa on
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Yes I find alopecia to deal with. No one can understand unless others know where you come from. I find people do not want to understand but judge . Not taking the time to get to know you. Yes we are different but we are and should be beautiful as the rest. It is hard to accept because I feel like I am different but yet I have to hide myself. Knowing you will be judge But in the long run we are strong and we can only do the best we can.
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