Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Auntie Sheila on July 24, 2011 at 1:06am

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I was also diagnosed a little over a year ago. Docs think mine was caused by an arthritis medicine and docs at the Mayo clinic don't think I even have arthritis now! They say it's celiac disease (can't eat gluten /wheat forever). Maybe that's why the med caused it! Whatever the reason I know how frustrating it is. I can only accept that the Lord has a reason (I think he is protecting me from falling in love with a jerk!) I have recently started dating a man from church, and he is completely accepting of my bald head! He admitted to me that before it would have made him uncomfortable but now in his life, he is completely fine with it. I had my eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed yesterday. I am so excited for them not to come off anymore! Have you lost all of your hair or only on your head. I went completely bald everywhere in about a month! Talk about shock! I'm coping pretty well now. Do you have a wig you love? I am complemented more now than I ever was before! I hope this helped. My sisters are always complaining about their gray hair and having to die it. I had NEVER even died my hair (and didn't have any grays, either!). It frustrates me sometimes. Sometimes I tell them. I need to get to bed. I'll pray for you, good night!

Permalink Reply by m&mqueen on July 24, 2011 at 4:10pm

Thank you for your prayers, your reply was very encouraging and it really helps to discuss this with someone who truly understands. My hair has mostly fallen out in the front of my head from the stress of wearing synthetic braids in my hair back in high school and in college. I found them to be the easiest to deal with because I could just wake up and go to class without having to spend a lot of time on my hair. Plus the braids gave me the length of hair that I always wanted. But then when my hair would get taken down to be braided up again I would notice a couple of stands of hair coming out. Now I knew that everyones hair sheds so I thought nothing of it, but then the next thing I knew my hair was almost completely gone in the front of my head. So I started going to dermotologists and ended up trying jsut about every kind of lotion, potion, vitamin, and injection out there only to have my hopes be built up really high and then meet a crushing fall. Then last year when I received my diagnosis the dermotolotist said in a very deadpan voice, "You know that it's not coming back right?" This was right after he gave me yet another useless set of injections and then tried to schedule me for some more. It was one of the most hopeless and devastating moments in my life.

Anyway, in regards to your question about a wig. I am currently studying to be a pastry chef and the school that I'm in requries that you wear a uniform. Well part of that uniform is a chef's hat. Can you imagine being in hot kitchen with a wig and a hat on? LOL. So right now I'm in a weave which I'd rathe not be in but I really can't think of an alternative. Well I've got to go cook dinner but again I thank you for your response.

P.S. Congrats on your eyebrows and eyeliner!

Permalink Reply by Angie on July 24, 2011 at 10:53pm

You must get help for your depression. Don't be afraid or ashame. Talk to a professional, some people need counseling, some need medication and some can do self help. Depression does hurt, I've been there. I was on medication. Soon ,I made a decision to help myself. I started walking a lot( dr's orders) and I started investing time in myself. Alopecia World sure was a big help. Alopecia is hard, no matter which kind. Be sure to take one day at a time. Right now Queen, don't worry about no man, let's keep all the focus on you and how Queen is feeling. You must first get strong. Don't worry Queen you will get there. Your sisters and brothers at A.W is here for you.

Permalink Reply by m&mqueen on July 25, 2011 at 8:54pm

I definitely think I will get help because doing it on my own is not getting me where I need to be. I've got a lot of goals that I'm working to achieve and I refuse to continue allowing depression get in my way. Thank you for your encouragement Angie. Both you and Shelia have really helped alot.

Permalink Reply by Angie on July 25, 2011 at 9:38pm

I'll be checking on you.

Permalink Reply by Auntie Sheila on July 26, 2011 at 12:05pm

.I'm glad you are willing to get help for the depression. It'@s hard to face this alone. I wish you well in your cooking program! I definitely would only wear the hat to cook in. The heat will ruin most wigs anyway. I wear a hat or bandana most of the summer because it's so hot here. I also agree to wait on wanting a man interest. When you feel better about yourself things will happen for you. Be thankful you are Single! I am so glad I didn't have to meet the needs of some man when I felt like crap!
I dont know if you read the Bible, but this verse really helped me, Luke 12:6-7.
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. KJV #Bible http://j.mp/fwRJCY
I hope you have a wonderful day!

Permalink Reply by Dana on July 26, 2011 at 4:08pm

I know how you feel I battle depression too getting help has been very good for me. I finally shaved yesterday because it was hopeless to hang onto the last few stranglers of hair I hoped I would feel liberated but no worse actually this happened so quickly for me I still can't get my head around it! I feel your pain ihave heard you and validate you talking to a therapist helped me hang in there!

Permalink Reply by Auntie Sheila on July 26, 2011 at 4:23pm

Shaving my head was so hard, but it was easier then watching it fall out and feeling it on me all the time. Showers were so hard. I would lose hadfulls each shower, and the idea that washing my hair made it fall out was so hard...I knew it wasnt' causing it, but I didn't want to touch my head! After I shaved it, it kept wiping off over the next couple of weeks. I had very long hair, and as I said before, I had never even died my hair. This was a tremendous shock! I teased my son that he was the only kid I knew that had two bald parents!!! His dad had gone bald in high school!
I have used humor a lot to deal with this. My pastor dropped a scoop of ice cream on the floor the other night, and picked it up. Someone hollered out, 5 second rule! (GROSS) He replied, there's a hair on it. I commented that it wasn't mine! We all laughed so hard, I about cried. I think they are surprised when I am able to make a joke about it instead of being consumed by it now. Last summer I cried a lot, not from laughing, either! God Bless you all! This support group has really helped me!

Permalink Reply by m&mqueen on July 26, 2011 at 9:22pm

Thank you so much for that scripture Shelia it is helpful. In fact, when I was first diagnosed I was so extremely depressed and my mother brought me a CD of a sermon that had been given the Sunday after it happened about not giving up and I would just listen to it over and over. It really helped me to get out of the bed and face the day.

As for wrapping our brains around it Dana, I think it's going to be a while before that happens for either of us. I mean the reality is no one expects to have to deal with something like this when they grow up. So there's no preperation or understanding when it comes to this, there's only "what the hell do I do now?" And of course it doesn't help that there doesn't seem to be a real discussion about hair loss in the world unless it's related to cancer. Otherwise the concept of baldness is mostly used onto television and in movies to be jarring. Did you notice that? I'm sure you did.

Anyway, thanks for your support. Right now I'm in search of a good therapist that is a good fit for me.