Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lauren on October 19, 2008 at 12:02am

My daughters are 1, 3, 5 and 7. My daughter with alopecia is 3. My other children don't really seem to be affected at all. My oldest daughter sometimes mentions that she wishes her sister wasn't bald and even one time while we were all sitting at the dinner table said "but no ones gonna want to marry her." I really don't have any suggestions other than to just explain to your kids that she is still the same person with or with out hair and that they should treat her the way they would want to be treated. Alopecia is genetic so there is always a chance your other children can have it and just not show signs until later on (for me it started at 20) so point that out to them and ask them how they would feel if they suddenly lost all their hair and someone in their own family was embarrassed to be seen with them.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Schmelzer on October 19, 2008 at 11:14am

Thanks for your responses. I think reflecting it back to them could be effective. Sometimes they get embarrassed when we are out in public and people stare, or point, or ask questions. I try to educate but the kids just don't like the extra attention. Do you ever have that happen? What do your other kids think?

Permalink Reply by Lauren on October 21, 2008 at 1:12am

We are constantly having people come up to us and ask if she has cancer and/ or if she is okay. I just give them a brief lesson on what alopecia is because most people have never heard of it. I don't mind educating people and have yet to get sick of it. None of my other children seem to mind at all. My oldest 2 do get protective though when they see other people, usually young kids, pointing at her and saying something like "hey that girl is bald!" or "why doesn't she have any hair?!" Their parents usually just hush them quickly and whisper that she is probably "really sick" (although she is so hyper I think she's like border line ADHD so WAAAAAYYYY too much energy for a chemo kid) and I just act like I didn't even hear them. Back to my kids' reaction though, they usually will say something to me like "that was so rude, she has alopecia. We have moved to a relatively small town recently though so most people that we see when we go to the store or something have already seen her before and now know about her condition either through me explaining it to them or by it getting passed along so I am finding the longer we live her the less of an issue it is when we go somewhere.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Schmelzer on October 21, 2008 at 3:57pm

Thanks for your reply. What you experience is a lot of what we are experiencing. The kids get really embarrassed that people are coming up to us or pointing, etc.. I don't mind educating though, sometimes I really want to be just a family doing our thing.........

Permalink Reply by MARIA (mom of Savanna) on October 22, 2008 at 10:03am

Wow Nancy you are in an difficult postion, teenagers and like so many other kids go thru a stage in their life where apperance is so important to them. They dont really understand that beauty comes in all forms. They might need to educate themselves and their friends on Alopecia and when they accept Lauren the way she is then all their friends will too. My daughter is the one with AU, and I have two handsome boys one is 11 and the other is 4, they both accept Savanna the way she is. My 11 year old has alot of friends who come over and none of them treat Savanna any diffrent. They treat her the same as they would anyone else. Honestly I dont think any of their friends, my friends or savanna friends pay attention to the fact she has no hair. I wish you,Lauren and your other kids the best of luck. Just let them know acceptance and beauty is important to her too and they need to accept her so she can feel better about herself.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Schmelzer on October 22, 2008 at 9:14pm

Thank you Maria- your compassion really helps. Today Lauren got her second wig(yeah) and she looks really good in it. We always tell her wear it or not wear it- it depends on what you want. So she wears it at school and not at home. But what was nice is her siblings kept texting us wondering when she was coming home so they could see her. She thought it was really nice. So I guess baby steps and helping them all to mature....... Thanks again-Nancy