Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chris Daly on October 25, 2009 at 2:37am

maybe you should date a good looking man with alopecia. maybe 6'3 and brown eyes. *cough* wink

Permalink Reply by Artemis88 on October 25, 2009 at 10:03am

lmao! What's it like in New Mexico??

You know I have only ever met one guy with alopecia. Knew him for years before we realized we both had it. He got married this month. ha!

Permalink Reply by Tricia on November 29, 2009 at 1:25pm

I just don't date, unfortunately.

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on January 11, 2010 at 7:34pm

I posted a blog on this same topic a couple months ago because I decided to get back in the dating world, and after several dates I shared my alopecia and I never heard from the men again! Now I am trying to decide if its worth it to continue dating. I know it is, but it took me a long time to accept my alopecia and to have a man not want to date me because of it hurt a lot!!

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Lee Watkins on January 29, 2010 at 9:53am

I am so sorry Stephanie....your statement, "I shared my alopecia and I never heard from the men again?" is one of the primary reasons I stopped dating YEARS ago....it takes a special kind of man, and even "bald guys" are hesitant to date women with alopecia.

Permalink Reply by josh on January 11, 2010 at 8:02pm

hey, just be honest a say it...its hard but at some point it has to come out....not all men are so stupid...some will understand...

Permalink Reply by Andrea on January 29, 2010 at 10:26am

I think its a personal choice, whatever you're comfortable with. Ive been dating via online dating sites, and I tell the guys right away before I agree to meet them. That way, I can spend the date getting to know them instead of wondering if they can tell my wig is fake. Some guys run, and its their loss. Others could care less. I find that as long as my wig looks real, most guys dont care what's going on underneath it.

Permalink Reply by Carol on January 29, 2010 at 11:41am

After reading these responses I have to say - this is why men know before they even ask me out!! This is why I don't wear a wig (well one reason). I hate to deceive anyone, imagine how the poor guy feels when you've been lying to him about your appearance this whole time? It's like the fine print of a legal document that no one reads until it's too late. Granted it's not very nice of him to ditch you because of this fact either but it is a two way street! As a bald woman I haven't exactly been lacking in men wanting to date me, allowing me to be selective about who I'd like to date. I have noticed that some men are just curious and don't call back either but I have a habit of not getting attached too quickly and it takes quite the effort on his part for me to become attached (basically I need him to show me how much I matter to him). The last time I dated wearing a wig (which was a very long time ago now) it came back on me after we'd stopped dating that I didn't tell him (which I did) and was blamed for tricking him which was very hurtful! Don't waste anyone's time, his or yours and let him know as soon as you possibly can in all fairness! You'll save time on any wasted dating and attachment and weed out the people who are putting on an act.

Permalink Reply by Artemis88 on February 22, 2010 at 5:59pm

Carol,
I hear you, but plenty of women wear make-up and fake nails. Plenty of women wear push up bras, padded bras, and never get accused of trying to trick anyone. So really it is hair thing. That guys is an a$$hole for saying that to you.

I don't think I would tell them right away, personally. But maybe it would be easier than to start to like them if they are going to run.

You think in NYC there would be more open minded people, particularly in the medical fields, but there really aren't.

Permalink Reply by Joel on February 6, 2010 at 7:49pm

I have told a date first thing after hello and I have said nothing, I must admit life got easier once all my hair was gone, having half hair is worse than no hair. I got dumped by a girl as soon as she found out I had AA she thought I was just shaving my head to be cool I guess? whatever better off without her

Permalink Reply by sean franklin on April 10, 2010 at 11:33pm

Maybe you should just try to date someone from this site so you don't need to tell them because they will already know. There are plenty of men who either don't care about hair or prefer bald women.

Permalink Reply by Avis on April 11, 2010 at 7:15pm

I started dating again after being divorced 5 years. I was up front about only wanting friendship (because I didn't want to have to tell him about my alopecia and another health issue). After 2 months and many phone conversations, I told him on the 4th date (last night). His response was very positive. We'll see if I hear from him again. It was very difficult and I am angry that I made a big deal about it.
My thoughts are that you are not obligated to tell someone until you trust them or you realize the relationship is getting serious.