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kastababy

46, Female

Nashville, TN

United States

Profile Information:

Relationship Status:: Single
About Me:: I'm a walking contradiction -- I'm peacefully violent, a popular nerd, wickedly innocent, and loudly quiet...in other words, I know how to make myself stand out in a crowd. I have an opinion about everything, and have an endless thirst for knowledge. One of these days I'm going to take over the world, but I have yet to come up with what I want to do when I get that small task completed. (That, and I haven't found a good sidekick yet to drive the getaway car!) I have decided that this year is the year that I start writing more in the hopes that I finally get a story published!!! Now that Barack Obama has been elected President, I'm content to stay in the good old USA for a little while longer, although I still have my escape plan to Canada in a secure location in case things change. I'm political, controversial, well-read, stubborn, opinionated, and determined to make an impact on the world, and maybe leave it a little bit better than it was when I entered it. I'm always updating and changing things, so keep checking out my page often!

About my alopecia: I was bald as a baby, and my hair didn't really grow in until I was about 2 years old, so it's impossible to say if I had alopecia then or not. However, after my hair did grow in, my mother noticed two bald spots when I was 4 years old. One was the size of a dime, the other was the size of a quarter. When she realized that I wasn't cutting plugs out of my hair and it wasn't coming out on my pillow or in the hairbrush, that was when we started going to the doctors. I wasn't officially diagnosed with alopecia areata until I was 6 years old; by that time, I was in the 3rd grade and totally bald. I stayed that way, albeit with brief periods of partial regrowth, until I reached high school. My hair started falling out again when I was a freshman in undergrad, and it has been persistent AA with brief periods of AT and AU. It's been that way ever since.

As a child, I was very comfortable with being bald, because I had two parents and a grandmother that went above and beyond to make me comfortable with myself and stress to me continually that I was beautiful inside and that being beautiful inside would translate to being beautiful outside; perhaps it is because of this that I have become somewhat of an overachiever -- not only do I have to be successful at whatever I do, but I have to excel in it. However, as an adult, the blind confidence bordering on arrogance that was so much a part of me has gradually disintegrated. I have become less sure of myself and depressed at times because I have felt the hurt and rejection that comes with not being appealing to most men. I have lashed out at the people who have supported me the most, because I feel sometimes that I was misled into believing that at some point I would outgrow alopecia, but like Krazy Glue alopecia is stuck to me and won't let go, and that fact has been more crushing than anything I have felt in a long time.

After nearly 3 years living and working in Atlanta, GA and Memphis, TN, I returned to my hometown of Nashville, TN in September 2008. Living away from home completely on my own really forced me to become more independent than I ever would be had I remained in Nashville. It has also enabled me to view alopecia with new eyes that haven't been colored by the opinions of my friends and family closest to me. Since discovering Alopecia World, I have found more healing and acceptance in the nearly 4 years of the site's existence than I did in 27 years of searching, for which I am eternally grateful!

My purpose on AW is to motivate and inspire others -- it is my hope that in leading by example and living my life to its fullest potential in spite of societal views on alopecia, bald women, and women of color specifically, others will come to their own acceptace of alopecia in their lives and let their beautiful, vibrant selves shine through!
Do you have alopecia?: Alopecia totalis
Are you age 18 or older?: Yes - I am 18 or older
Your Website (Leave blank if you don't have one):: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/kastababy

Comment Wall:

Load Previous Comments

Dina

Hi - No, my family has not registered. I have a female cousin with alopecia, my aunt has had hair loss issues since her youth and my brother does not suffer from alopecia but vitilago, which my derm told me is very similar to alopecia, only his immune system attacks the pigment of his skin. I will look into that though, thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Apr 9, 2008
Dina

By the way, I love Sade and "Cherish the Day" is one of my favorite songs of hers :o).

Apr 9, 2008
mary

Hi. Thank you for dropping me a note. Everyone is so nice. I had no idea that there was so many other people like myself. This site is great! I don't feel so alone now.

Apr 9, 2008
Manola

ciao io sono Manola e vivo in Italia... parleremo ancora per conoscereci meglio.

Apr 10, 2008
Ivan MIlls

Thanks for the welcome and thanks for the recognition you give all veterans. Give my thanks to your family for their service and dedication to preserving our way of life. That includes you "Navy Bratt". Like you I look forward to learning about the folks on here and maybe myself as well. Thanks again.

Apr 11, 2008
Alberto

Thank you for adding me to your friend List

Apr 13, 2008
Katie Jones

Thank you for adding me! It makes me feel good to know that there are other people in the world that feel the same way I do. Some days I feel like i'm the only one. I'm sure you are a wonderful person and I can't wait to get to know you. So what is your story? I can't wait to hear all bout it.

Apr 14, 2008
sgomez

Hi friend. Just wanted to check up on you. You really like to change your music, huh? I'm still trying to figure out how to do that on my computer. I'm not very computer savy. So how old are your kids? They are adorable! I have four. 3boys, and one girl. They are 14,8,6,and 3. I'm done!! The store is closed!

Apr 14, 2008
sgomez

Well they are so cute, and lucky to have you for their tia.

Apr 15, 2008
Audrey OHara

Heya,

Sori for delay in replying, all my messages were hiding in another folder and not my inbox!!!! So I missed them all eek!!!!

Anyway, I hope that you are well.

Thanks for the welcome ... and we'll msn again sometime soon I hope.

Apr 16, 2008
Frank

YoKasta....
Your story mirrors mine. Instead of 6, I was 5 when I went au. And it stuck to me. Completely. No periods of regrowth, with the exception of when I participated in the very first clinical trials for rogain! I can share some real interesting stories of my guinea pig days so that those models on tv can have a full hed of hair.
I know exactly how you felt. I was exactly the same way. Confident, overachiever... etc etc. And then it was like I regressed. And then one day, someone pointed out to me that I was giving others tht I didn't even know control over me. That struck a real cord. I wouldn't say it was a complete healing, but I can't tell you the number of times since then I have told that to myself.
At any rate, I hope to talk to you more. This site is awesome. 36 years and I have never talked with anyone else that shares our little gift from nature. Is messaging the only way that folks communicate here? I see there is an email icon. Does that mean we can email to each other within the site? Do folks ever go to chat?

Apr 17, 2008
Cindy

Hi Yokasta,

yes, thanks for the chat last night as well...It was a pleasure talking to you too..I am always up for a chat in the evenings..just send me a note...

Cindy

Apr 17, 2008
Denise

Love your music selection.
Denise

Apr 17, 2008
Frank

ok... so I had a few minutes, jumped online and saw you were logged in. Thought I would make an attempt to chat with you. So how do I chat with you? Do I need to use aol messageing or yahoo messaging? If so, how do know your id?

Sorry to lean on you for this, but I couldn't find the instruction manual.

Thanks!

Frank

Apr 18, 2008
Frank

Kasta... baby...

You seem to be in the know... so act like I am used to writing on a stone tablet.

If one would like to communicate with another member (other than comments) what exactly does one do?

Thanks-

Frank

Apr 21, 2008
becky

Hope you get to feeling better also.

Apr 22, 2008
Steve

YoKasta,

Thanks for the note. Yes, I am a Vikings fan. I see they just traded for Jared Allen from the Chiefs today. It should be a fun season. They play the Titans in September. Care to make a wager ;-)

Apr 23, 2008
John Davis

Their actually very receptive to my ordeal and have been very kind . But it's more about how i feel Ya' know?

Apr 23, 2008
Steve

What do I think? I think I'm impressed by your football knowledge. I agree that they need help elsewhere (including the coach). QB position has been a weak spot for a few years now. I think they are banking on handing off to AP every play and are trying to bolster their defense so they don't have to make Tarvaris throw so many times.

I think it's funny how many people here in MN think they will go far this year when just a week ago nobody was giving them a chance. One player does not make that much of a difference.

Plus it now makes this weekend's draft that less exciting.

Apr 23, 2008
Dotty

Hey Sweetie,
Thank you for letting me know about the chatroom. That's too bad that a few rude and obnoxious people have to ruin things for the rest of us. Hope it gets resolved soon. But on another note, how's things with you my friend?? I miss chatting with you. Love your new blog and I agree.....bald is bald no matter how you slice it!!! Talk soon.....Dotty

Apr 24, 2008
John

YoKasta! Thank you for the response. I will be sure to have my daughter email you:)

Apr 26, 2008
Ashley

I still have my mohawk. I guess I'm just too much of a wuss to go to school without my wig. I never really wear it out of school....I dunno. But i'll tell you one thing. I plan on going to Holiday World (another amusement park) with my boyfriend, and I'm goin wigless...because we're hittin up all the rides, and of course the water park!

Apr 28, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Hi Yokasta, We are doing good. Have been pretty busy lately. Trying to start the immigration process, hardly know where to start... Looking forward to meeting everyone at the conference and especially you!

How are you? I am from Canada, so you know we are keeping our eyes on the NHL, and Montreal being in the playoffs....

Apr 28, 2008
Cheryl, Co-founder

Did you call the Hotel direct and mention NAAF? Sometimes they have rooms "available" even though they are saying they are full. That is what happened when I first went to book.

Apr 28, 2008
Steve

I thought the Vikes did OK considering they had traded away their good picks. They needed another db and got one in Tyrell Johnson. Hopefully he can fill in at safety since Sharper is not getting any younger. I also like the Booty pick. He was a quality college QB that ran the west coast offense well. The rest I think are hit or miss and only time will tell. One nice thing I like is that they picked up 16 free agents after the draft. Most will not pan out, but at least they are trying. My biggest concern is the offensive line. They drafted a center and also picked one up in FA. I was hoping that they would also draft a tackle to protect Tarvaris since I don't know the status of Bryant McKinney.

Apr 28, 2008
Miranda

Hi YoKasta. I want to say thank you for the comments and advice. I think we are going to be holding off on our pediatrician's advice. For the mean time anyways.

Fortunately, in kindergarten they are going to be with the same kids all day. My twins will be broken up and put in two different classrooms, but I think even that is a wonderful idea. I think it will teach them that they are two different people, and it will let them experience different things. I just hope Della is strong enough to stand alone.

You know, for a long time I have been extremely nervous about them beginning kindergarten, mainly because of the alopecia. But lately, as Della has lost more and more, people have been approaching me about it more often, giving me the chance to explain. Surprisingly, everyone has been real accepting of it. Some people can be rude with their questions, but we get over it. The one thing that kind of bothers me right now is that people begin by laughing, or asking me, "oh did she get a hold of a pair of scissors"? She has way more spots than hair right now, so it kind of looks that way. But once I explain they apologize right away.

Anyways, I am getting off the point. I have the alopecia coloring book, and the NAAF pamphlets and such, and I am READY! I am also debating whether or not to write a letter to her classmates' family and explain so they can prepare their children, and hopefully reduce any teasing. I think she is going to have 20 kids in her classroom. So far she has handled teasing at McDonald's or the park, prety well, but she is with these kids for a whole school year. She can't just walk away from them.

Well, tomorrow's the first step, pre-registration! I hope it goes well! They are so excited! I think more excited about getting to pick out back packs and pencils, but still excited.

My kids are so funny. I hope everything's well! ~Miranda

Apr 28, 2008
Amy Jo

hey chicky!!

Apr 29, 2008
Amy Jo

oh..nm...you? im jus sittin here in school (haha) chillin!!! yea...so ummm thats about hte excitement at the moment!! haha~!!~!!~!!~! whatchu up to?

Apr 29, 2008
Miranda

I think that is a great idea, but it doesn't work that way. We had pre registration and to my amazement, not one of the kids asked what was wrong with her, THE TEACHERS DID! ha ha Then I was shocked because my little girls were the ones to judge. There were East Indian twins there tow that had really dark skin, and Angel asked me why they had black faces! I couldn't believe it! They never asked anything like that before and my best friend, their godmohter is east Indian! I couldn't believe that I was afraid that my daughter would be judged, and yet it turned around to my daughter being the one judging!

Apr 30, 2008
Miranda

Well, we answered the question by saying her face wasn't black, that's just the color her skin was and then we explained how everyone was still the same. I like your grandmother's answer better though.

Apr 30, 2008
sgomez

Hi, so how are things w/ you? Good for you on, your training class. That's great! So do you wear wigs? I'm really not comfortable going out in public without my wig. I'm working on it though.

Apr 30, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..Why hello,and thank you so much for your compliment...When I was around your age,I was hiding my patchy head under a beenie hat,and somebody took my hat for a beer collection,leaving me completely exposed..I had AA for 3 years at that point..For whatever reason,I decided right then,that I wasnt hiding anymore,and if people wanted to laugh,then so be it..If they didnt want to be my friend,so be it..I just didnt care anymore..Well,long story short,about a month or so after I decided to just go "BARE",my hair started growing back in...It has come and gone many times since then,but for me to accept how God had made me,and just go about my life,It truly helped me look inward where our spirit is,and it definitly made me a better person,and that journey continues to this day..I write spiritual music,and play piano..and also I like to paint (watercolor) usually with some sort of spiritual theme..Or nature..Anyway,continue to love yourself,as its then that everybody else will have a opertunity to also love you..Its the old,if you dont love yourself,then how could someone else love you..Im not saying you dont,thats just one of the things that I learned that helped me through many hard times...Id like to add you to my friends list if you'd like..Things will improve shortly..Trust me..You've just been blessed.... : )..Your bud..Bob

Apr 30, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..I almost forgot..You have enough "GLOW" for any ten people..Your spirit shines like a great beam of light..It's very addicting,to anybody,including me..That light will guide you through any storm,as long as you let it..Trust me..Your in good company..Bob

Apr 30, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Yo Kasta..The peace is right where its always been..Right inside you..You dont even need to move or seek it out..God gave it to you a a gift..And its a special gift,along with that great big glow you possess..If Im lying,Im dying..Well,Im still typing,so must be so..Peace is what you make it..Nothing more or less..Nobody can take from you,unless you give it away..If you dont react to someones remarks,then they dont exist..May you bask in PEACE ,every moment of your life..Your beautiful shine is something everybody will want to be near..Just dont push them away,thinking the opposite..When you totally accept yourself,then everybody else will to..I found that out the hard way myself,but its still true,and always will be..May Gods peace flourish within you,and bloom like a spring rose..So Be It!!..Just for you..Bob

Apr 30, 2008
sgomez

I'm doing great! I'm very blessed :) I hope that you will feel better soon. I don't want you to be sad:( I think that you are a great person! I was instantly drawn into you just by your page. There is just something special about you, and don't you forget it. Better days will come, trust me. We all go through trials, but when they're over, we are all the more better and wiser than before. I like what Bob said, he really knows how to put it in words. Just know that God is in control, and put your trust in Him. I've learned that when we try to follow our own path, it turns into a dead end. But when we trust in God, he always leads us to a better way. Even though sometimes it feels like the wrong way. Take care of you. God bless, Sarah

May 1, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta...Just saying hey,and wishin you a great day..I cleaned up my garage today,to make a spot for my Caddy pick-up..I call it my Cadamino..Its a 1950..I cant wait to get it home...Its so much fun to drive..people always stare..I guess thats a theme in my life..LOL..Heck..I like it..Love me or hate me,either way,I dont get ignored..("REGGIE JACKSON"0) quote..Anyway..Hello goodlookin..Your bud..Bob

May 1, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Ok..Hows my Yokasta?? I had a great day at a estate sale..Bought a hand carved planter..Its real old....I love the music on your page..Sounds like the music I sing and play piano on..Id like to sing for you...Maybe I can record some and send it to your page..Im not to computer savy just yet..My son is..He's coming this July..Maybe he can help me..Anyway,Just "poppin" in to say hey~!!!..Bob

May 2, 2008
Bob Hershberger

Love you music list..It looks like we enjoy the same tunes...Even patsy..kewlll..Bob

May 2, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..Wow!! I was looking at your friends list..Theres 13 pages!!! Dang girl..I think your charm is way huge!! I couldnt believe there was that many pages..I just figered out how to view my friends list..(took me lone enough)..I didnt know you had to click on a certain spot..LOl..Anyway..Hope your smiling,and having a great Sunday..Bob

May 4, 2008
Diane

Bonjour YoKasta,
J'ai vu que tu écrivais en français parfois..... do you use an online translator or are you bilingual?
Diane
A proud Frog from Québec :)

PS: I'm going to the NAAF by myself, for the 1st time too.... so we'll have the chance to meet face to face.

May 4, 2008
Bob Hershberger

I left a message to return yours,but its at my site..Could you look there..It was a lot of typing..Thanks Yo Kasta..Bob

May 5, 2008
Late K8

Hi!
The tattoo is the four seasons. I have an iris for spring, sunflower for summer, fall leaves, and a poinsettia around the head. It's my reminder that life goes on!

May 5, 2008
Erdal

Hi yokasta how do you do
The windmolen is nice looking we have here a lot more around they dont use it but its nice to have it around for picture's for example hahaa

May 5, 2008
Tiffany

Well I never thought I would say this but my ex was right about one thing, my life did become easier and less stressful once I shaved my head. Now taking a shower isn't so bad because I don't have tons of hair to pull out of the drain when I am done. Also waking up to a hair free pillow case is a nice change too. I never thought I would look good going the "shaved" route but it turns out I have a pretty nice shaped head! I still wear my wigs all the time though and I don't think that will ever change. How have you been? I hope your week is going great. Happy Cinco de Mayo!! XOXO!

May 5, 2008
Diane

Hola!
C' es verdadero que l' española y el francés son fácil de comprender cuando se conoce uno del dos. J' ya se habían propuesto hablar de Babelfish pero l' nunca habían utilizado. El mensaje en francés quien ti m' ¿envió es correcta nivel gramatical… es cuándo de éste en española?

This tool (babelfish) is great! I wish learning other language could be that easy!

Diane

May 5, 2008
sgomez

You are such a brainer!! I can tell. Am I right??
I actually learned Spanish later in life. I was 17 when I learned it. I'm still learning! I did take one semester of Spanish in high school, and that helped me a little to read and write it. My husband is Mexican, and he taught me alot of spanish too. But mostly I learned at my church. It's a spanish speaking church. Iv'e been going there for fourteen years. I am Mexican American but my family has been here for so many generations that we got Americanized! My kids are total gringos! My dad calls them gringos nalgas prietas! lol! They don't speak a lick of Spanish. (I know.....It's my fault for not teaching them.) And the funny thing is that my husband speaks chopped up English to them instead of Spanish. Go figure!!
So are you feeling better? I hope so. I wish that I could meet you in person. You seem like such an awesome person.I would give you a great big bear hug! I'm doing great!! Thanks for asking. I am truly blessed, what can I say. :) Love, Sarah

May 5, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..Question..How did you get that music player to arrive at your web site,and add music to it,so it comes on when people go to your site..I go to your site,and sometimes just let the music play as i go about my day..LOL..I know there is some button or something..Sorry..Im computer illeterate,but I learn fast,I think..Thanks in advance..Bob..
How ya doing today? Good I hope..Dealing with my brother right now is getting me down..Im hanging tough..I thought I had him out of the woods,after a lot of personal work,but somehow,its all back where we started..Just another test along this journey..Hopefully I'll pass..
: )

May 6, 2008
Diane

Hola!
You are right YoKasta, you are more sophisticated than the rest, beside me, of course ;-)
By the way, I'm from North America, not Europe.... I'm from the province of Québec, the french speaking province of Canada... most of us are bilingual, French and English... some are French-English and Spanish... this could have been me but I only took a few classes of Spanish and the only thing I remember are very basic one.... now, I'm trying to learn Chinese, my daughters being of Chinese heritage. Learning Chinese is a total different ball game than learning Spanish or English...I think I won't have enough of my entire life just to learn how to say the different tones.

I hope you are feeling better concerning your mother and the conference.... I'm looking forward to meet you in Louisville!
Buenos tardes,
Diane

May 6, 2008
Bob Hershberger

YoKasta..Thanks..I'll se if i can follow those instructions..I think I know how to copy and paste..Its just a few clicks..I need to gain more confidence in this computer stuff..I guess the only way is to just do it..Thanks sweet-eee..Your bud..Bob

May 6, 2008
sgomez

Ha! Brainiac! I knew it! That's too funny!
We did not celebrate Cinco de Mayo. We are so boring. Plus we don't drink, and really, that's what Cinco de Mayo has become these days. An excuse to drink and party. We just stayed home and relaxed.

May 7, 2008