Comment by Tiffany P on July 23, 2010 at 10:28pm

I know all too well the feeling when you feel one way and everyone says another. When you feel like shrek and people say they see cinderella. I know how it feels to not want to do nothing but the basics and avoid associating with people but.... You are beautiful and though you cant see it because of your lack of hair it doesnt make it any less true. I hope this feeling goes away soon and you come to see that you have so much to offer, believe me when i say i feel your pain. Hope you have a great day in 5 days and that this deep sadness will have passed :o)

Comment by Tallgirl on July 24, 2010 at 12:06am

Well, someone IS here. LOTS of us are out here, with even more who haven't yet discovered this site. I knew a July 28er years ago, so I know what it means to be a Leo...in fact, many times over (son, friends, niece...those are August Leos). Being loved and being even a bit vain is a part of all that, and with a birthday coming up...oy! But listen...you are also into that PROFESSIONAL phase of life, and you are a very clear writer, who does not make many, if any, mistakes. So while you are busy ragging on yourself due to The Birthday Blues (and I have done the same, believe me), do NOT overlook your abilities that will take you farther than any of those friends will who are influencing you to just be satisfied with body or clothing! Despite the fact that many of them got married too young, remember that you have freedom to travel, take time with decisions, go to college or take up a hobby, save for your own place (where you can decorate and entertain without demands or comparisons). Do not worry about letting your friends down: it is your birthday week, so THEY should not be letting YOU down! If they brag unnecessarily and don't love you for PERSONALITY, they may be shallow and may not doing you any favors as a woman with alopecia.

Life is shaping your future partner in some way you can't possible know, at the same time it (Life) is waiting for you to hold that head up to meet your future partner square in the eye. When you finally meet, be ready to accept HIS "imperfections," too...as hard as that may be. Maybe your friend has unseen things that need changing, while you have only one (because the alopecia doesn't count, and it is actually a character-builder, which you will accept about age 45). Confidence is the only thing you lack, because you are already rockin' in looks and observant of details in people and yourself.

Where would you save to visit? Train or plane? What kind of home or apartment? Best meals to practice? Dinner party theme? Journal to start July 28th? Favorite CD to buy (Inspiring, to sing at the top of your lungs in the car every day. Happy or bold, not pathetic or emo.)? For my 50th, which I spent ALONE in a fancy hotel, I saw a movie first (The Banger Sisters...naughty1), ate liquor-filled truffles, brought flowers from a friend and a journal, partied at Happy Hour in the lounge with a gal from Brazil who was there between flights (guys sent drinks over to us!), took myself to dinner and made the waiters sing to me over cheesecake...then had wine on an old-fashioned riverboat the next day, and had people on the boat sign advice for age 50 into my journal. Birthdays can also be soul-searching and memorable! You have time to plan, but be ready for the unexpected. Remember who you meet that day...but definately keep those eyes up so you don't miss anything. Life still rolls on, alopecia or not...do not sleep through it! Just TALK to people about up things, their dreams, your dreams, without the Debby Downer stuff, and you may be surprised what they like about you!

Comment by Alliegator on July 24, 2010 at 2:34pm

You may feel alone but you aren't at all!! So many women who are members of this website feel the same way you do. I have spent lots of time crying about my hair loss. I didn't get my confidence back until I started wearing wigs. It also helped me to talk to people close to me about it. Try to remember... this too shall pass.

Comment by Dave on July 25, 2010 at 9:02am

The spiritual you, that person inside, is where the REAL you resides. This body, which we arent guaranteed to keep at all, which falls apart at times, is frail and sometimes sick, that body that people see day to day, is NOT you at all. The spirit that lives in it, gives that body a heart and a personality... THAT is YOU. I always pray for those who are so shallow that all they see is the object in front of them, but never the inner workings, because they are missing out on a lot of substance. And THEY are the ones who are missing out. Yes, Im sure it hurts listening to the snickers and sneers, I realize. But at the same time, their spirit is seriously lacking if thats all they see is missing hair. Look how the people who REALLY know you act towards you! They are the ones who know your spirit.

Comment by Melissa Harris on July 26, 2010 at 11:12pm

Wow, Alexandria, I know how you feel, I'm kinda in the same boat but only been dealing with this for 2 years, I was hoping it would get better, but I doesn't ever seem to. All I can say is that I can totally relate to your situation and you are not the only one. I too am fit and all of that, but I doesn't replace the hair. I wish so much that I could have my hair back too. Somedays, I don't even want to face the world and wonder what the heck did I do to deserve this crap, it has taken so much joy out of my life. I wouldn't wish this nasty thing on anyone!! If you ever would like to talk, I'm here. Hope you are feeling better. This stupid AA can't have the person that I am though, I'm still the same and I love all the same things, thank goodness for that. Take care, Melissa

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