I'm told I never ask, so I will: I need help!

I seriously think that some people are just born unlucky - like me! Unlike most I was unlucky before environmental factors kicked in, I was adopted by the wicked witch of the west and was hers from day one. At least my adopted dad was something good that came out of this all but unfortunately he's been gone for about 10 years now. Beyond that I've had countless unlucky events, doesn't matter what it is! Now just recently I've been trying for a few years to get child support from my ex and the government is taking him to court but I get a very threatning letter, vulgar and harrassing, from his girlfriend on facebook who is under the impression that I'm taking them to court. 98% of what she even said was a lie - obviously my ex wanted to look like Mr. Angel and lied to her about everything, but that's not all! To top it off she even mentions how apparently he never knew I was bald before he slept with me and other than that being a complete lie, it is such a hurtful cheap shot! How can people be so immature? Did he have to tell her that because he wanted to make himself look like the victim or that he's too cool to sleep with a bald chick? Of course he knew, I could never get that close to someone without telling them before they try and run their fingers through my hair or something. I'm sure you guys can sympathize with that one at least.

Then in about one month my husband will be moving out and I will be a single mom again. I wish I could say that I'm just venting but I really need support and I don't have it because I wasn't really allowed to have friends of my own. My heart is broken, my head is broken and I have no family even. I know I can do this but everything is just incredibly overwhelming right now and I just hope I don't break in the process. I can't even get to court if my ex decides to take me because I don't have a car and it's an hour drive away. All day at work I faught back the tears and I hope that nobody noticed that, if anything hopefully they assumed I have allergies. I'm still working through my probationary three months and can't afford to screw up either. One can only endure so much and I just hope I can make it through this still in one piece. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.

Views: 1

Comment by kastababy on August 21, 2008 at 6:13pm
Oh Carol, I am so sorry that you have to go through this right now!!! Even though I don't have children of my own, I have seen firsthand how when you don't get child support and things of that nature in writing (common-law or not) the children lose every time. The benefit of having this stuff in writing is so that in the event (however unlikely) that your husband defaults and chooses not to pay any more support (typically when a man finds a new wife -- hence the phrase, new wife, new life) then you have grounds to get a lien against his home, car, boat, RV, income tax refunds, you name it -- plus garnish his wages besides. At least, that's how it's done here unless the *bleep* decides to work under the table for his money. But we are going to claim peace and success in this matter for you, because positivity is what you need from us!!!

Feel free to vent, cry, shout, hurt, whatever it is you need to help you heal. Losing a marriage is much the same as losing our hair -- we have to go through the grieving process, and we all do it differently. You know we are family here in AW, and we are all here for each other.

Me personally, as far as the ex's girlfriend is concerned, I would knock her teeth out and have her brought up on defamation of character and slander charges. If she continues to try to contact you, then bring her up on stalking charges. You are a fighter -- don't let that *bleep* change that, and certainly don't let this latest upset change that either. Draw strength from your children, and please keep us all posted on how things are going!

Sending you a BIG HUG from Memphis!!! Love, kastababy :)
Comment by Carol on August 21, 2008 at 6:32pm
You guys are so sweet, thank you! I had the day off today and lived like I'm going to after he moves out. I've been a much happier mom and I took the girls for a long walk and shopping. I also got a chance to go through my finances and I think I will be ok, he's willing to give me way more than I need (shhhh don't tell) ;)
He's a good guy, he pays his bills, he's honest and he certainly would never want to see his children suffer. He still tells me he loves me and I really wish he wouldn't. I know he loves me for what we had and because we have two kids together and I want to be his friend through this, we're adults, we can be mature but I just can't say it back to him. He's thinking of buying a trailer to live in until he finds something more permanent and may be moving out as soon as one or two weeks. I suddenly want to give me, my home and my life a make over and bring the colour back in. It's hard to stay in the same place with everything looking the same because it will remind me of him. I'm even going to let the girls share the master bedroom because I don't need such a big room for just me. Things aren't that different in Canada Yokasta - my ex is working under the table and hasn't brought a lick of paperwork into court to prove his situation. I think the judge knew that the last time we were in and that's why she still made him pay something, just less and he hasn't been paying. I just wish I knew how or if I get that money he owes if he winds up in jail. I've been through a very hard time with the ex for child support so don't worry your heads about that for one second - been there done that. Any agreements that we make and put on paper is legally binding as long as we both signed it and it is dated and we'll both have copies. He can see the kids whenever he wants to and so can his mum but they have to call before they stop by. I just see that as my day off and hopefully I don't have to work because I really like to play! LOL :)

Big Hugs to my new family
Carol :)

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