It all started....

It started with him forgeting to kiss me when he got out of the car. Soon he was spending a couple of nights a week on the couch "so as not to wake me because he couldn't sleep". The next thing I know he's going out for drinks until two am in the morning with 'people from work'. We've never done anything apart in over three years of marriage (I'm not saying this is a good thing) in fact he demanded I cut contact with every friend I've ever had and I complied :(
Now he wants 500 dollars to go to his crazy ass mom, but don't tell anybody Car. Why not? Where is it really going, your girlfriends rent? His mom just put 23,000 down on a car and three months later paid it off, yeah she needs my kids school clothes money alright.
Worst of all - almost ALL of this communication has been in text messaging AND tonight he knows there is a problem. A serious problem, I'm about ready to walk out of this marriage and never look back, but does he come home after work? No, he's going to go have some drinks with his buddys.
I'm exceptionally suicidal tonight.
So now the tears are coming and go ahead and laugh, that doesn't matter to me anymore.
CAR

Views: 10

Comment by Melissa Harris on September 5, 2008 at 1:58am
Carmella,
I have been married for 9 years and I can tell you that about 5 years ago right after I had my first child, I was alone for a period of time away from my husband and right on the verge of being divorced. I know that you must be in a lot of pain right now too but please let me tell you that NO ONE is worth you being suicidal. I thought you mentioned having kids, how many do you have? You need to be strong for them and they need you. Sincerely, I really hope that you have someone close to you that you can talk to about how you feel. I went to talk to someone when I was going through a lot of stuff in my marriage and it does help. Plus you need to take care of yourself and not get more stressed out then you might already be. I know you may not want to hear this now and it may not help right this minute, but please do not think of that option for yourself. Life can be good, not always, but it can be and you deserve to be happy just as much as any one else. Take control of what you can, and choose to get better for yourself and your kids. I hope this finds you well and if you would like to talk more, I'm around. Please take care of yourself and think about your choices. Things always change, but you can make the best of your situation. Things really do get better. Hope you are ok.
Comment by Linda on September 5, 2008 at 2:23pm
Hey Carmella, email me your phone #, I need to talk to you, you are far to special to be suicidal and you have to be strong for yourself and your children. I'm here for you, send me the number!
Comment by Mandy on September 5, 2008 at 4:55pm
Car,
I'm sorry sweetie. :o( I'm not married, so I can't fully relate. But I can relate to being in a relationship that wasn't everything I deserved. And I got out. Not necessarily saying you should do that, mind. I believe you should try everything you can to work things out (like counseling, etc)...but sometimes things don't work out and that's ok, too. Just remember that you deserve to be happy and that you should never settle for less than you deserve.

Luv ya,
Mandy

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