Comment by JeffreySF on September 5, 2008 at 12:05am

Carm,

I am online if you want to talk.

Jeff

Comment by Georgie on September 5, 2008 at 12:28am

{{{Lots of HUGS}}}

Comment by Melissa Harris on September 5, 2008 at 1:36pm

Carmella,
All I can tell you is I have been though what you are going through now and I'm just saying, keep an open mind and think about all of the consequences of your actions and what you can control. Just because it's bad now don't mean that it's gonna get worse. If you are in an abusive relationship, that is very different, but if you are going through stuff that you think you may be able to work on with your husband, then you may want to consider your options before you do something when you are in the state of mind that you are in now. At least if you walk away after you have done what you could on your part in the relationship, you will know that you did everything that you could and feel ok about it. I'm not sure of your whole situation and only YOU know how bad it is, so just use reason and your best judgement when you make a life decision for you and your kids now. I went through a lot of anger stages and hating stages, but you are not always going to be there. Try not to make decisions when you are in that angry stage, because it's usually not the right one. (UNLESS you or your kids are in danger or being abused, then protect yourself by all means)! I'm passionate about this subject only because I have been there and it's easy for someone to say to you, just walk away. I had a lot of people tell me that too, including my family. But I'm glad that I did what I thought was right in the end for our family. I'm not saying that it was easy either, it takes both people to want the same thing and it is hard work. Now if it gets worse for me in the future, then I will do what I need to do and I might have to make a hard choice again. But you just need to make your own decision for yourself and your own situation. You do need to make yourself #1 though and take care of yourself because no one is gonna do it for you and I learned the hard way even with getting this stupid AA. I was always putting everyone else before me and sometimes I still do, but it's a process and you must practice this everyday for yourself. I really hope that you are ok. Just know that life is good and you will be happy again. We all have ups and downs, it's just part of life for all of us, but if you can make it though the down parts, it makes you stronger and your better for it. I know you may not want to hear this now, but I sure wish I had someone telling me this when I was really down and angry. Take care of yourself and your kids. Please be safe.

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