I went to my doctor the other day for just a routine check up. It was my first time seeing her and I mainly went just so I would have a primary doctor if/when I do get sick (I don't trust the doctors at my university). Anyways, I don't wear a wig so she obviously knew I didn't have hair. She is familiar with alopecia so wasn't surprised when I said I had it. I told her it fell out about 5 years ago and within about 3 weeks. She kept asking me if I was happy living with no hair. I said yes, which is true. I learned to accept it a while ago. She asked if I ever tired treatments, I told her I didn't see the point if there was no guarantee it would work and didn't want to deal with side effects, ect... And I must have mentioned that I am completely fine with it like 50 times. But she still threw out the, "well, if you think your life would be different if you had hair, then let me know and I'll help you out." (she repeated this multiple times too). Well in my opinion, my life WOULD be different if I had hair, but that doesn't mean it would be any better. I know she is just trying to help and give me options. I couldn't help feel like she was trying to say I shouldn't be ok with it, that I should be doing something about it. It kind of threw me for a loop. It was hard at first and now that I accept it, thinking that someone would tell me I shouldn't be accepting it bothers me. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it....

Views: 2

Comment by Kristen Ridenhour on October 2, 2008 at 9:59pm
Thanks for the comments! It got to me a little bit, but I think that is because it's not the reaction I get from most people. It just kinda baffled me.
Comment by Sarah McIntosh on October 2, 2008 at 11:32pm
I think it is when people talk to me like your doctor did that stick in my mind.I am normally ok living with Alopecia but when people talk to me about not doing treatments anymore they always make me feel like I gave up on myself and I hate feeling that way because in all honesty it was only when I stopped useless treatments for myself that I really started to live my life.I wish people could see sometimes when they might just be trying to be helpful that they can make people feel like there should be no life after something alters your appearance or challenges the way society sees beauty.I'd be baffled to at first.
Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 3, 2008 at 12:42am
Hi Kristen, I read your blog the other day and only now have the chance to respond. I think dr. have this deep seeded urge to "fix" something, even if he doesn't have to be fixed. So they can't possibly understand how we can not want to fix it. Or others can't imagine how they would handle our situation and the only answer to them is to have your hair back. I know I felt that way when I first lost my hair. But now after 17 years it no longer seems important or urgent anymore. The other day I was writing my goals and dreams and sharing them with my fiance rj, and I told him afterwards funny how growing my hair back was not on the list, in fact it was not even a consideration. Other people are going mirror their fears onto you, keep that in mind when you get those comments and just keep stepping ;)

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