WOW !

I just now thought of something . I have come so far from where I was at . It blows my mind ! I'm just like, WOW !!!! A year ago or almost a year , I thought about suicide . I felt so miserable . So alone . I thought I had no friends . That no one cared bout me . That was all lies from the Devil . I remember crying and writing in my journal and putting : I don't really want to kill myself . But I hate how I feel . I feel so alone . ( or something along those lines .) I kept thinking , I could go into the kitchen and get some meds and overdose . But I kept thinking about things and I knew what was right and what was wrong . So I went and told my mom . I remember her holding me and crying and saying how glad she was that I told her berfore I did something. So we talked and she put away all the meds and stuff . And when I was talking to her I thought about my Best Friend . My best friend has alopecia too and that's how we became friends . We became email buddies . I was thinking about her and how it would have crushed her if I killed myself. I was the only one who understood what she was going through. My mom reminded me that I have friends who love me . People that love me . I felt bad for thinking those thoughts . I hate that I thought about suicide but I'm glad at the same time . I hope that I can help people . I am so thankful I have a mom that I can tell things to . I know I am blessed because some kids don't have anyone to talk to . I am so blessed and amazed about things ! I am so thankful that I'm not in that place anymore . My heart aches for those people who feel like killing themselves. If anybody has these thoughts , Please don't do it .Jesus loves you . Somones loves you !! Yes, I do feel depressed sometimes about my alopecia . I believe everyone has good days and bad days with alopecia . Or even people without it . I just wanted to say Thank you Lord for everything ! And thank you everyone for your wonderful comments ! Stay strong everyone ! I know it's hard . I have been through a battle lately with losing my hair .But This past week has been great ! So thank you Lord for that ! Stay strong everyone ! Thanks ! ~ Mackenzie

Views: 32

Comment by Hilary on April 25, 2010 at 8:10pm
im glad that you have come to terms with alopecia, we all do have our good days and bad days and like you said people with hair do aswell, i hope this blog inspires some alopecians that are suicidal. take care.
Comment by Joy on April 26, 2010 at 8:34am
Mackenzie...that was a great blog. im glad you have your mom and your best friend. i dont think its unusal for people with alopecia to feel suicidal and good for you for posting this..you may have saved a life or two! life is definitely worth living (theres always a hair alternative if wanted) and its great you have the Lord. He sees things through different eyes and carries us through the rough times...it may be rough sometimes here in this life but we know this isnt it..we have another home where there are no troubles and worries! glad you had a great week. thanks for writing this! it was definmitely inspirational!!
Comment by Nancy and Owen O'Brien on April 27, 2010 at 10:17am
Wow, your blog just brought me to tears. My 5 year old son has alopecia universalis and I worry that someday he might have those feelings. I hope I can be half of the Mom that your Mom is. She sounds amazing and you do too! Stay strong!
Comment by Mackenzie on April 27, 2010 at 7:34pm
Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments ! They mean so much to me ! And I am so BLESSED to have my mom ! Thank you everyone for you support ! I love this site ! And I just love the people on it . Thank you ! ~ Mackenzie
Comment by Tallgirl on May 1, 2010 at 12:46am
And you know what I used to do? I would imagine my 30-year-old self somehow crossing through time to hug my 14-year-old self, saying soothing words like, "There, there, dear. Just look at how you turned out and all the great experiences you have had. I'll be waiting here for you.." I would get more hopeful then, like seeing into the future at the professional, adult me who could laugh off the teen years but have that alopecia experience to make her, me, real and sensitive to others. It worked!

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