(March 13, 2007)

Following the baptism of Jesus in Jordan, Jesus retreated to the desert. At his baptism, Jesus had heard the voice of God telling him, "You are my Beloved Son." This was all new and strange for Jesus who before had only known himself to be a carpenter from Nazareth. Jesus went into the desert to think about his identity, where he was also tempted by an evil voice that lay within him.

The first temptation was a temptation of power. The voice commanded that Jesus turn stones into bread and that he keep the bread for himself. However, Jesus responds that he stands under a higher power and will not abuse his own power selfishly.

Then the voice tells Jesus to jump off the edge of a cliff. If he really is the son of God, then God will command his angels to come down and rescue Jesus before he falls. Jesus replies that God should not be tested like that. It is also not God's job to save people from all of their mistakes.

Lastly, the voice tempts Jesus with overwhelming power, but only if Jesus bows down to the evil. Jesus refuses and commands the evil voice to return to its source and leave him. As the voice leaves him, Jesus is filled with the Spirit.

According to this Aramaic translation, the evil voice that Jesus hears lies within him, as opposed to the Greek translation which implies that the evil is an external being. It is scary to think about Jesus' internal evil because it is a reflection of the own internal evil that lies within me.

The first temptation is a voice that everybody has encountered at least once in their life. Although we are often advised against abusing our power--even Spiderman was warned, "With great power comes great responsibility"--the evil voice continuously tempts us to use whatever power we have for ourselves, and ourselves only. However, we can follow Jesus' example of submitting himself to a higher power--Sofia.

Janelle and I are currently in charge of this year's Shakespeare Festival. I anticipated that it would be a lot of hard work because I had watched my sister go through the same process two years ago and I helped with the planning last year. However, watching and helping is very different than running the event itself, especially since we want this year to be huge. Janelle has been busy with other things as of late, so most of the work falls on me. Miss Bowers had trusted me with the responsibility to organize the Festival, contact those involved, and meet with administration. Last week while I was sorting through paperwork ad printing out scripts, I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this for everybody? I could be spending my time sleeping or watching TV. Why don't I just give this all to somebody else to do? I'm in charge, I can do that." As soon as I thought that, I wanted to slap myself on the hand--Sure, I was in the position where I could pass off all of my work to somebody else, but how would that be fair? I was given the authority to do the work, and I wanted to do the work too. Again: "With great power comes great responsibility."

In the second temptation, the evil voice wills Jesus to test God's power. This voice also exists within us in the form of the thought: "If God really loves me, then I can do whatever I want." Unfortunately for people who think that, God does not and will not fix all of the mistakes we make. God created the world and gave it freedom; therefore we cannot expect God to swoop down and save us every time we are about to do something incredibly dumb. However, that does not mean God does not care what happens in our lives. Our mistakes are there for us to learn from. God would never intend evil in our lives, but he does allow it so that we may see the faults we are to work on.

About a year ago I was talking to a girl I had just met in San Francisco. We were at a hair salon that specializes in wigs for people with caner, alopecia, or other hair-loss conditions. We were talking about alopecia and other related things and when I mentioned that I attended a Catholic school, she was quick to tell me, "Oh, I don't believe in God." I asked her why not and she responded: "Because horrible things always happen to good people. I've always been a good person and God took my hair away. I don't think he exists." I tried to explain to her that God did not purposely punish people like that, but she refused to believe me. Having alopecia is not God's way of pointing His finger at me and telling me I am a horrible person; instead, having alopecia has allowed me to fully appreciate inner beauty and focus less on superficial appearances. It may have taken me several years to realize this, but I do not feel at all deprived of anything because of my hair loss.

In the last temptation, the evil voice tempts Jesus with materialistic things, but Jesus refuses and sends the voice away. This temptation appears in our lives presently too because we are often tempted by materialistic things: The desire to be rich, famous, successful...Those desires become dangerous because once they consume our thoughts, our lives become all about superficial wants. The temptation for those things are great, but, like Jesus, we can send the evil voice away and back to God where it can be changed.

My dad tells me constantly that my future is all about choosing the "right job" that will earn me a lot of money. I remember him telling my sister a few years ago that it was okay to have an interest in art, but it would make her no money so she should abandon that dream. As college applications rolled around for me, I chose Journalism as my major because writing is a passion of mine and I am happiest when pursuing real life stories in the fast-paced world of news. I definitively chose to major in Journalism last summer, and for the months that followed, my dad worried that I would not be successful. He told his boss and his co-workers, and they added to his worry. "Journalism is a dying, profession," one co-worker said. "Where is the glamour in that?" added his boss. My dad told me these thoughts and added his own commentary, emphasizing that I needed a stable job with a large income. While I understand his concern, I wonder: Is a huge salary worth working in a field I loathe? I see my dad come home from work every day, irritated at his job and at the people he works with. He always complains that he wish he had followed his passion for environmentalism and that if he could "do it all over again," he would not be where he is. I have finally come to a place of understanding with him about my choice in Journalism (and it helps that he finally realized that as long as there are newspapers, magazines, and the Internet, there will always be writers) and I know that things such as fame, fortune, and success can be fleeting. I would not want to take a detour off of my path to fall down at the feet of superficial temptation.

Jesus' retreat into the desert allowed him to separate himself from his appearance and to find out who he really is. It takes courage to do such a thing because, most of the time, it is easier to stay in society with everybody else who chooses not to step out of their "comfort zone." The possibility of the thought that evil lies within us is terrifying, but it is a necessary step on the path to Enlightenment. This week, as I prepare for Senior Retreat, I will keep in mind the narrative of Jesus' desert temptation and not be scared to confront the evil voice that lies within me.