Comment by Debi on August 13, 2008 at 4:12pm

If you want to raise awareness , then why not talk about it in a very positive way. If you did, maybe more times then not it may connect you to a wonderful person, maybe even a fellow alopecian!!!!!

Comment by Linda on August 13, 2008 at 11:50pm

Thanks, I'm venting, your advice is well received. I especially like the one about having a card to hand out.

Comment by amanda~ on August 14, 2008 at 12:04am

I am so sorry to hear that you had to put up with that type of bs. I think that is just tactless behavior and should not be tolerated or allowed. I personally do not think that people "have a right to know" unless they are told or have the common decency to ask properly and respectfully. As you said, would you ask someone whose lost a limb 'what happened to your arm?" NO you would not, because that is just tactless and rude.

My fiance said he thinks that no matter how horrible these situations make us feel, we should (if possible) take the opportunity to educate people about alopecia otherwise they will continue to be rude and tactless to others they come across.

Personally, I'm not sure I'd have the wherewithall to think of 'educating' them. Instead I think I'd react bluntly and abruptly so as to make them feel as bad as they'd made me feel. I know that is not the most mature way to behave, but that's what I think my first reaction would be. I told my fiance that he doesn't understand what it's like to be made to feel that way. He is aware of this, but I admit I think he makes a valid point.

Linda, I commend you for your personal strength and I hope you never have to encounter that type of rediculous behavior again.

Comment by Linda on August 14, 2008 at 12:28am

Thanks for your feedback Amanda, the rudeness took me by surprise, I was ill equipped to think about educating them or anything else for that matter. Tact is mature, rude is immature and I don't think I should have to tolerate that kind of behavior.

Comment by Sharon on August 14, 2008 at 2:25am

Hi there this got me thinking to a time when Nicole had not long had alopecia and we were at the movies and saw a lady who had no hair but was wearing a scarf I so wanted to go up to her and ask her if she had alopecia but didn't incase she didn't and had cancer =( that would of been awful. But it would of been so nice back then to have known someone else who had AA that we could have talked too..............I couldn't be so rude but since Nicole has had Alopecia I have certainly become more aware of those around me who don't have hair. I am so sorry that you had to endure those rude ladies, they probably would of felt so awful if they had found out. I luv the idea about getting students to go google it great idea!!!

Comment by Tony on August 14, 2008 at 5:47am

Linda, sorry to hear about your encounter. Some folks can be outright rude. I think we've all been there a time or two. I've been asked many times about my lack of hair and / or the obvious spots. Most of the time I try to use the opportunity to educate. It doesn't always work as you can sometimes see the person's eyes glaze over. Too bad...if you didn't want to know then you shouldn't have asked. Then again, there are those times when a quick witted, wise crack is appropriate...btw, I gagged on my coffee when I read "why, do you have a cure?". Mind if I 'borrow' that line?

Comment by Linda on August 14, 2008 at 9:40am

Wow...thanks for all of the support, I was really having a bad day, you all have brightened it up immensely! Tony, you may borrow that line, lol! I love "the fact I don't have hair, doesn't mean that I'm deaf", lol. Just good to know that I was not alone in thinking that it is rude to approach a bald person in an inappropriate setting. Thanks all, I love you!

Comment by Char on August 14, 2008 at 12:25pm

I actually had an encounter with one of my "residents" who had no hair as well. I wear a bandanna to work and when I walked into the room of this new resident, she too was wearing a bandanna. She asked me where I shopped for my bandannas at. I preceded to tell her and then I told her about alopecia. She just thought I had cancer like her and had never heard of alopecia. It was a very nice conversation and I think she felt more comfortable with me. I get stared at a lot, sometimes I vent by calling my mom on my cell and talking to her loud enough so others can hear. I basically state how I find it funny that people give my such pity looks when I'm as healthy as the best of them. That pretty much makes them stop staring and makes my shopping trip a little better with out the confrontation. I'm all about educating people about alopecia, but there are some days when you are just not in the mood to explain yourself for being you. You are not alone, we all go through it and someday these people may have to too. Sadly, alopecia can hit anyone at any age.

Comment by Carmella on August 14, 2008 at 2:45pm

Do you have a cure?!!! I seriously cracked up outloud, not the lol the real deal. I feel you on that. I often get the "that hair do looks great on you" and I need to respond "you mean the hair don't?" Vent away girl! We all have our days.
XOXOXOX
CAr

Comment by Linda on August 14, 2008 at 3:37pm

You're right Char, being followed through the store while I'm shopping is not my idea of tact. As they followed I could hear them talking about who was going to ask me, I was like, they are really pushing it here, lol.

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