Right to Know...

Why do people think they have the right to know what happened to your hair? I mean, I understand family members and close friends, but not people you see while walking down the street or shopping or going to a movie. Why do people think they can come right up and demand "what happened to your hair"? Concern is one thing, nosey is another. It's like they stare, then they walk right up and ask, when you give them a flippant answer they are hurt. They never think about how embarassing it may be for some, to be asked in a crowd what is wrong with their hair. It ticks me off that people think they have a right to know your personal business. It's like if I see a person without a limb and I ask them what happened to them without them offering to tell me, it is just plain rude. That's my vent for today, I don't vent often, but today while I was shopping, minding my own business, lol, two women followed me through the store from rack to rack. After awhile I just stopped shopping and sat in the shoe department to give them a chance to catch up and get a good look at my beautiful Bald Head. They did, then one asked, "do you have cancer", "no" I replied, she then said, "what's wrong with your hair"? Trying not to be as rude as she was, I answered, "nothing's WRONG with my hair, I don't have hair, so what could possibly be wrong with it", I smiled and left the shoe area as the two stared open-mouthed. I then got on the elevator, and low and behold, yet another person who thought they had the right to know, "do you have cancer" she asked, I smiled and answered, "why do you have a cure", she turned beet red and got off at the next floor. What do you think, do strangers have a right to know?

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Comment by Linda on August 14, 2008 at 12:28am
Thanks for your feedback Amanda, the rudeness took me by surprise, I was ill equipped to think about educating them or anything else for that matter. Tact is mature, rude is immature and I don't think I should have to tolerate that kind of behavior.
Comment by amanda~ on August 14, 2008 at 12:04am
I am so sorry to hear that you had to put up with that type of bs. I think that is just tactless behavior and should not be tolerated or allowed. I personally do not think that people "have a right to know" unless they are told or have the common decency to ask properly and respectfully. As you said, would you ask someone whose lost a limb 'what happened to your arm?" NO you would not, because that is just tactless and rude.

My fiance said he thinks that no matter how horrible these situations make us feel, we should (if possible) take the opportunity to educate people about alopecia otherwise they will continue to be rude and tactless to others they come across.

Personally, I'm not sure I'd have the wherewithall to think of 'educating' them. Instead I think I'd react bluntly and abruptly so as to make them feel as bad as they'd made me feel. I know that is not the most mature way to behave, but that's what I think my first reaction would be. I told my fiance that he doesn't understand what it's like to be made to feel that way. He is aware of this, but I admit I think he makes a valid point.

Linda, I commend you for your personal strength and I hope you never have to encounter that type of rediculous behavior again.
Comment by Linda on August 13, 2008 at 11:50pm
Thanks, I'm venting, your advice is well received. I especially like the one about having a card to hand out.
Comment by Debi on August 13, 2008 at 4:12pm
If you want to raise awareness , then why not talk about it in a very positive way. If you did, maybe more times then not it may connect you to a wonderful person, maybe even a fellow alopecian!!!!!

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